Page 44 of Trading Yesterday

On the TV, the ESPN team had a desk set up above the field and three of Jensen’s coworkers were talking about the tragedy of the recent plane crash that took the lives of so many of the Brazilian National Team, as well as giving bios of the various first stringers. There were several international tournaments, but most of Chase’s games were in his local English leagues. This particular game was a charity event to raise money for the families of the fallen players. It was getting loads of publicity and it was a huge honor that Arsenal was asked out of the many eligible teams.

When Chase’s picture and stats were posted on the screen, Kat squealed a bit as Remi pointed weakly. “Look! There’s Daddy!” My heart jumped in my chest when I heard her refer to Chase as Daddy.

“I see, honey.” I smiled and squeezed both of Remi’s feet.

“He’s gonna win!” Her little voice was weak, but her enthusiasm was big, and my heart leaped. I nodded my agreement.

Rarely did Arsenal lose. Right after Chase and I broke up, I used to watch all of his games. I’d been starving for any news or glimpses of him even though it was extremely painful. Jensen was supportive, but after we decided to get married, he didn’t want to watch with me anymore. He knew how much I missed Chase and he thought I’d feel better if I just put him in the past. I tried to keep it secret by only watching when Jensen was on assignment, or if I could somehow manage to DVR the games and sneak them in later. It was obvious that Jensen knew, but he never mentioned it anymore. It was awkward and painful for everyone involved.

Kat’s eyes flashed her exuberance. “I always get so excited watching Chase play. I mean… it’s still hard to believe that’s my little brother!” she added. “Last season, we all gathered at our parents’ house for the final Premiership game and my mom almost peed her pants when he was chosen man of the match in the final game. Oh, my God, it was epic! She doesn’t even like sports, and she was jumping up and down on the couch, screaming like a teenager! It was so funny! Dad rolled his eyes at her, but I could tell how puffed up he was, too.”

“I can imagine.” I felt a pang of pride and at the same time was sorry that I wasn’t able to be part of it. “He’s amazing,” was all I could manage as I stared, mesmerized, at his face, still rubbing up and down on Remi’s leg from ankle to knee. I’d seen that picture multiple times since it had been updated on the roster, but still, he was so breathtaking, even a bit sweaty with his hair sticking conspicuously to his forehead and his jaw covered in scruff. I wasn’t sure if he really was that beautiful or he only seemed so because I loved him so much.

Throughout the game, I stayed with Remi on the couch, even after she fell asleep. Chase had scored the two goals he promised and was still giving it everything he had. I’d always loved watching him live and remembered the many games I’d sat among the screaming fans, but the numbers, then, were a fraction of what they were now at the professional level.

My mind was drawing a blank of the assistant coach’s name that always called Chase, Twinkle Toes. Apparently, because he made it look so easy, but I knew better than anyone, how hard he worked at it. That title that had spread through the university circuit like wildfire, but now they called him Ace and it suited him better. He was perfect, working the ball with effortlessness; passing to teammates with ease. The way he used surprise backward kicks, or stopping the ball on a dime, to switch its trajectory, was brilliant.

A well-known commentator I recognized was shouting his name over the television as Chase dodged and weaved his way through his Brazilian opponents, signaling his teammates. Arsenal played with polished precision as they worked the ball like a choreographed dance. Yet, changing it up with every possession of the ball.

“My money’s on Ace Forrester to make this one,” the man said, his excitement rising. “There’s a pass to Henry Paul, but watch as Ace retreats on the field, but the Brazilian’s should be worried… he can make a goal from way outside… Watch! Watch! Here it comes! Oh, my God! Boom!”

One of the other players was set up to take a shot at the goal but instead heeled it back where Chase was waiting to hammer it inside the goal line. The goalie dove one way, but the ball came in on the other side of his dive.

The crowd in attendance went wild and Kat squealed and jumped up from her chair in front of the TV. I wanted to shout, too, but I was aware of Remi sleeping next to me and didn’t want to wake her.

“Did you see that?” She laughed out loud. “I’ve seen this team win hundreds of games and I’m always just as excited as the first time.”

It was the winning goal, and Chase’s fisted hands rose above his head as he turned and ran into the mob of his converging team. He looked so happy; a brilliant smile split his face, his eyes flashing; even sweating bullets from his exertion, he was beautiful.

I swallowed hard and nodded. “Yeah. They really are incredible. I thought they might lose this one, on purpose. Because of the crash, and all.”

Kat’s eyebrows rose and her lips pursed with amusement. “That team wins and they draw huge crowds because of it. More money is raised when more people show up.”

“Sure, but still. I thought they might throw it, just this once. I mean, if Chase would have missed his goals…” I let the words drop off with a slight smile.

“Yeah, right. He knew Remi and you were watching. There’s no way he’d intentionally tank,” she said with a light laugh. “No way.”

“I always watch him. I feel sure he knew I would be.”

The clock on the cable box said it was half past ten and I shifted Remi’s legs from my lap so I could stand and get ready to take her to her room. I bent to lift her, careful to keep her covered with the blanket. “I’ll be back in a sec. I’m just going to put her down, but do you need anything before I go to bed, Kat?”

“No. I’ll be fine. Do you need help?”

“I got her. Help yourself to anything in the kitchen, and there are extra blankets and towels in the hall closet if you get cold or want to take a shower. Jensen will be home soon, so will you be okay?”

“I’m fine.” She sat back down and picked up the TV remote. “You go ahead.”

“Just come get me if you need anything. I’ll be in Remi’s room with her.”

“Should I let Jensen know if I see him?”

I lifted Remi up into my arms, shifting her so that her arms were over her chest. Her head lolled on my shoulder and her dead weight made her heavier than she normally would be. I started down the hall toward the room at the right end of the hall. “He knows. Night, Kat.”

“Night.”

I closed the door behind us with my hip, and then put Remi into bed and covered her up, pushing the covers tight around her. Leukemia and her thinness made her cold and I wanted to make sure she was warm enough.

The past two days had wrung me out emotionally and I was feeling it, big time. I was the type of tired that might resist sleep and considered taking one of the sleeping pills that Remi’s doctor had prescribed for me.

---