Page 39 of Loved By The Bad Boy

All done, Mom leaves to get her things, with a promise to call Dad. Someone knocks. I open the door to a boy with a luggage trolley. Carrying my belongings, except for my purse, he exits the room. Once the door shuts after him, another knock sounds. This time, it’s the boy I want to see.

Ben stands in the doorway, hands in his pockets, as if this morning didn’t happen between both of us. When we are both tired of staring at each other, I step away from the door for him to enter.

“Hey,” I say with a little wave.

“Hey.”

Looking around at this place that has been my cave for a few weeks, I try to view it through his eyes. It’s bereft of all the things that made it personal, but the huge bed remains my favorite.

“We are leaving,” I tell him.

“Now?” I nod. Ben sits on the bed, and I sink into the space beside him. A not-so-awkward quiet descends over the room. I clear my throat, and he cocks his head. “Were you going to tell me?”

“Yeah,” I whisper.

Ben’s lips turn upward in a smile. I kiss him. I don’t know if it’s considered a kiss since it’s the slight brushing of our lips. Right before he deepens the kiss, I withdraw. The silence grows into something thicker and more uncomfortable. We need to define this relationship before kissing.

I slide my clammy palms between my legs, waiting for him to break the silence. He doesn’t.

“Did you call Olivia?” I focus on the shadow cast by the sun. The shadow of his legs blending into mine. The silence that follows makes me murmur, “You don’t have to lie to me about it.”

“I wasn’t going to lie.”

I look up for the first time, but his eyes are downcast. I almost reach out for his hand clutching the sheet. If you can tell a person’s mood from their side profile, then I think Ben is sad. I don’t want to be the reason he’s sad, but some things need to be said, and some questions answered.

“Are you two still friends?”

He looks up. “Gracie.”

“Just answer me.”

“Gracie. Don’t be like this.” My gaze hardens. I will be however I want. This has always been an issue with us. He needs to start talking if he wants us to work this time. “Gracie, it’s complicated.”

Not as complicated as his presence in New York. I don’t know anymore. I guess I expected his presence here to signify the end of their weird friendship. He yanks me down when I try to stand.

“We don’t talk as much,” he murmurs.

It’s the way Ben says it. Like it’s a consolation or an excuse. I move to the side until my body hits the headboard. “It’s alright. I should finish packing before Mom gets back.” There’s nothing left to pack, but I head to the wardrobe, then do a swipe of the bathroom to be sure I didn’t forget anything there. Ben is at the bathroom door waiting for me. He doesn’t let me pass. “Benny.”

“Gracie.” Ben sighs. I can almost hear all the words he doesn’t say. “I don’t want us to fight.”

“I really love you, Benny. Sometimes, I wish I didn’t.” A painful look flashes across his face. I just had to say it. I hate their friendship. My fingers spread across his chest. “Maybe then, your relationship with Olivia wouldn’t bother me so much. I can’t do this anymore. It can’t be me, you, and Olivia.”

He grabs my wrists so I don’t leave. “It won’t be.”

“Because it already is, Benny.” He tries to speak, but I stop him. My eyes are wet with tears. I am hurting all over again. “I don’t want to share you. But she has you in this hold, and I can’t break you from it.”

Ben shakes his head. “You’re not getting it. It’s just you and me now, Gracie. I swear with my life. She won’t be a problem for us.” He holds my hands behind me and places a soft kiss on the tip of my nose. I melt in his arms. “We have a lot to talk about, and I don’t know where to start.”

By a lot, I hope he’s talking about how he intends to end his friendship with Olivia.

“Okay,” I say.

“Will you call me when you get home?”

“Maybe.”

His lips quirk into a half-smile. He is lucky he is cute, and I am madly in love with him.

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