Page 24 of Make Me Whole

I smiled encouragingly at her and held her hands as she spoke.

“We were here, but in the back yard. I was playing catch with Aiden and you were making burgers with Unclad Max. It was warm and sunny. But then, Aiden disappeared and Unclad Max disappeared too.”

The deeper she got into the dream, the weaker her voice became. She was afraid again.

I tightened my grip on her hands for comfort as she continued. “I started looking for them in the yard, but they were gone. So I came into the house, but it wasn’t this house. It was Dad’s house, and the day was dark and it was raining. I heard you scream. It wasn’t loud, it was the silent scream you used to do late at night when we lived with him. So I went to look for you, and you were gone, and I was in Dad’s house all alone. And I was scared.”

Do not cry. Do not cry. DO NOT FUCKING CRY!

“No one is gone, Baby,” I assured her. “And you’re not alone or in danger. You’re so loved, Ella. You’re loved by me, by Grandpa, by Aiden—”

“By Unclad Max as well?” she interrupted me, and my heart shattered at the thought of Max and our kiss.

“Of course! And Max.”

She smiled for just a moment, then her face fell. “But not Dad.”

I had no idea what to say. My first instinct was to tell her the truth. Her father was a narcissist, and therefore, incapable of loving anyone but himself. But she was seven, and he was her father. Her image of him was broken enough already without my adding fuel to that dumpster fire.

I stroked her cheek and made my voice sweet. “Your dad is a difficult man, honey. But he loves you as well as he’s able. You should never doubt that.”

Disbelief tinged her face, and I didn’t blame her for it. Young age wasn’t a deterrent for good understanding when it came to love.

She wrapped her arms around me and pressed her head to my chest as she used to do when she was a baby. “I love you, Mommy.”

I kissed her hair and whispered, “I love you too, baby girl.”

We held each other for a few seconds that were interrupted by the loud grumbling of Ella’s tummy. I pulled back to gaze at her, my brows raised in amusement. “Hungry?”

She giggled. “Very.”

I laughed. Since we had no working kitchen in this house, Max had brought breakfast for us for the past two Saturdays. But after the kiss and his subsequent disappearing act, I highly doubted he would come around today. Mealtime was solely my responsibility.

“What do you say to some of Mrs. Nancy’s rainbow pancakes? I think you’ve earned them today.”

Ella’s eyes widened with excitement. “Yes, yes, yes!”

I laughed as she jumped off the bed and ran to the closet to get changed. I followed her lead and went to my room to get ready. Ten minutes later, we were in my car and driving toward our favorite diner in Windy River.

“My favorite girls.” Nancy, the elderly owner, greeted us at the door when we entered the restaurant. Her arms were wide open and waiting for a hug. Ella and I piled on the petite woman like ants in a honeypot, which made her giggle. “Y’all haven’t visited in ages. I’ve been missing y’all something fierce and was fixing to go to Al’s this afternoon with some sweet tea and cookies just to catch up.”

I loved her Southern accent. It always made me smile. “We’ve missed you too, Nancy.”

She kissed my cheek and guided us to a table at the back.

“It’s good that you didn’t come to Grandpa’s house,” Ella said as she settled on the vinyl bench.

I frowned with embarrassment, but Nancy just raised her brows in amusement. “And why is that, Miss Ella? Didn’t you want to see old Nancy here?”

Ella’s cheeks flushed. “Of course, I did. But we moved. You wouldn’t have found us at Grandpa’s, that’s why.”

“Oh,” she muttered and looked at me, eyes questioning.

Nancy was one of the few people in Windy River who severely disliked Eli and had been one of my biggest supporters when I left him. Eli wasn’t welcome at this diner, which was why I felt comfortable coming here alone with Ella, when I didn’t anywhere else in Windy River.

She looked around the room, and the corners of her bright pink lips turned slightly down. In a lower but equally cheerful tone, she added, “I want to hear all about your new home, but not right now. I bet you ladies are hungry.”

“We are.” Ella was the one to answer. “Very, very hungry.”

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