Page 25 of Make Me Whole

Nancy chuckled and asked if we wanted our usual. We said yes, and she went on her way. A few moments later, she brought my coffee and creamer and Ella’s chocolate milk. Our food came soon after—rainbow pancakes with eggs and strawberries for Ella, and regular blueberry pancakes with bacon and fried apples for me.

“Can I ask you something, Mom?”

“Of course,” I deadpanned.

Without taking her eyes from her pancakes—which were now loaded with Nutella, crushed cashews, whipped cream, and rainbow sprinkles, my kid's favorite weird topping combo—she asked, “Why haven’t Unclad Max and Aiden come over today? They always come for breakfast Saturdays. Did you two have a fight?”

No, he didn’t stay long enough for that,I thought bitterly.

Instead of saying that, however, I laughed it off. “No. Max is probably busy. You’ll see him again on Monday, I’m sure of it.”

“That’s good,” she said through a mouth full of food. I admonished her for it then asked why. Her reply was a shrug, a swallow, and then, “Because I would be sad if he disappeared.”

I frowned. “Is this about your dream again?”

Ella shook her head. “No, I just really like him. He makes me feel safe.” I smiled at her admission. She stared at my face as she took another bite of her breakfast. After swallowing, she added, “And he makes you smile. I like that a lot. You used to smile all the time, and then you didn’t.”

“I smile for you all the time,” I said with a tilt of my head.

She rolled her eyes. “That’s different. I’m a kid, but Unclad Max is aboy.”

I raised my brows at her strange emphasis. “What does that mean?”

“That he is a human male,” she deadpanned.

I balled a napkin and threw it at her. “Smarty pants.”

Ella belted out a huge laugh, and I joined her. It was so good to laugh with my daughter like this. For a while, I thought there would never be joy in our lives again.

Once her chuckles died, she explained, “I don’t know what that means. I heard the older girls in school say it. What I know is that I’ve never seen you smile for real to a boy before Unclad Max, not even for Daddy. And I like that. I like that he makes me safe and makes you happy.”

I didn’t know what to say to that because I also liked how safe and happy Max made us feel. Or at least I did before he ghosted me.

From the corner of my eye, I saw a car from the sheriff’s department enter Nancy’s parking lot and park right next to my car. I had always admired the police, but after being watched by a deputy for a whole day, that admiration had dwindled.

Ella changed the subject, and I tried to keep up as we finished our breakfast, but my focus was on the car outside. Like it had happened at my father’s house, the driver never exited the car, furthering my suspicion that this was one of Eli’s minions.

“Are you done, sweetie?” I asked Ella as I reached inside my purse for my phone, but it wasn’t there. I couldn’t remember if I had left it in the car or at home. Not that it mattered. I still had no way to call for help unless I involved Nancy, which I didn’t want to do for fear that Eli would retaliate against her.

Panic gripped at me as Ella declared that she was stuffed. Using every bit of strength I had to stay calm and not panic my daughter, I dropped some bills on the table and ushered her to the front door.

“Aren’t we gonna say goodbye to Mrs. Nancy?”

I shook my head. “No, honey. Mommy needs to go home now. I’ll call her later.”

“Do you need to potty?” she whispered. Usually, I’d laugh, but I had no mirth left in me at this point.

“Yes, so let’s hurry to the car, okay? Can you get inside and buckled on your own?”

She nodded as if the question was stupid. “Great. Let’s go.”

Holding my daughter’s hand, I walked as fast I could without breaking into a run toward my car. When I reached halfway without the officer accosting me, a glimmer of hope bloomed in my heart that perhaps he was there for a reason unrelated to me.

That hope, however, died a moment later when the officer exited the car and started walking toward me. “Hello, Mrs. Walsh.”

My nostrils flared at being called by Eli’s last name. I pressed the button to open the car and whispered to Ella, “Go to the car and lock yourself inside, Ella. I’m going to talk to this man and be right there.”

Thank heavens, Ella heard the urgency in my voice and obeyed without a word. The officer watched her run to the car with curiosity, then stopped right in front of me.

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