Page 39 of My Best Friend's Bully

I shake my head. “You don’t understand, IneedCole. He’s more than a friend.”

“What?” A look of confusion and sadness flash across his face.

“No, not like that!” I sigh. I’m even messing this up. “He’s my tutor, my guidance counselor, my mentor. I can’t make it through school without him, not if I want to get the grades I need to survive.”

“Survive? I know school is important to you, Jordan, and I love your drive, but it’s not life or death out there.” The corners of his eyes crinkle with concern. “I’m worried you’re going to work yourself to death.”

“You still don’t get it.” I inhale, looking up at the ceiling as I consider whether to tell him. Somehow, it feels more vulnerable than telling him I was a virgin. Perhaps even more than evengiving himmy virginity. If I could trust him with that, surely I can trust him with this?

“Explain it to me, then. I just want to understand you.” He reaches for my hand.

I hesitate briefly before taking his hand. “When I was growing up, we didn’t have much money. At all. My parents worked themselves to the bone to take care of me. There were countless days they would go hungry so that I could eat.”

Tyson inhales sharply but doesn’t interrupt. His dark eyes are burning as he looks at me.

“Some of my earliest memories are watching them come home, exhausted, collapsing on the couch. When I got older, I threw myself into school and worked hard to get good grades. They wanted the best for me, private school, so they worked even harder to make that happen for me.”

The memory floods back, so clear I could be living it again. “One day, I was in the kitchen doing my homework at the table and my mother was making dinner. Boiled noodles covered with a jar of sauce from the dollar store. Without any warning she collapsed. She hit her head on the floor as she went down and I remember screaming for my father.”

“Jesus,” Tyson says under his breath. His fingers tighten around mine.

“She was okay in the end. But she worked herself almost to death for me to get where I am now. When I got the scholarships for college, it felt like all of our hopes for something better might come true. Maybe they could relax a little. Not work so hard.” I can still see us cheering in the kitchen together when I opened the letter saying I would get a full ride. Not only tuition, but room and board, too. We danced around the kitchen, squealing that night.

“To keep those scholarships coming, I need to have very high grades. B average or better, and not a single grade below B. If I lose the scholarship, I’m done. I cannot afford school. And I never become a doctor. That’s all that matters to me. So that I can take care of my parents some day. I want to give them the life they deserve. The lifetheyworked so hard formeto have. But I don’t want it forme. I want it forthem. The only thing that matters to me is to give my parents a life without financial stress.” I take a long gulp of coffee. It’s cold now but even the cold bitterness of it is comforting.

Tyson is quiet, his eyes downcast. I wonder if he’s pitying me and my poor family, so foreign compared to the life he lives. For a moment, I consider pulling my hand free from his grasp.

“Let me help,” he breaks the long silence.

“What?” That’s not what I was expecting him to say and I blurt the word out before I can stop myself.

“Let me help. I can pay for your school so you don’t have to kill yourself. I can help pay for your parents’ living expenses, so they can have a more comfortable life right now.”

I set my coffee down on the table and crawl across the couch toward him. He makes room in his lap for me and I curl up there, my head against his chest.

“Tyson, that means a lot to me. But no, I have to do this myself. Icando this myself.” I don’t know if it’s true, even as I’m saying it. I don’t know if I can do it without Cole, and maybe I’ve lost him forever. “My parents did this for me, and I’m going to repay them on my own.”

He kisses the top of my head and murmurs into my hair. “I’ll help any way I can. I want to be there for you, Jordan. But I totally get it. If you’re too proud to take my money, I’ll find other ways to help, if you’ll let me.”

I close my eyes, feeling so safe in his arms that I begin to drift to sleep. I’ll treasure him for the moment. No matter what he says. No matter how kind he is, I know this cannot continue. For my future… for the sake of my parents… We’re going to have to say goodbye.

Chapter 20

Jordan

Wewakeupinthe same position. Tyson’s head leaning against the back of the couch, his neck at what looks like a terribly uncomfortable angle, but he smiles when I look up at him from my sleep-blurred eyes.

“How did you sleep like that? You’re going to be paying for it all day.” I try to unravel myself from his lap but he tightens his arms around me and I don’t protest, leaning back into his chest.

“It was worth it. You were sleeping like a baby.” His voice is a sexy growl that makes me want him, in spite of my anxiety around the situation.And that would be an awful, awful mistake that I’m not going to make again.Still, there’s no harm in cuddling for a few moments. Especially when it’s the last time I’ll ever hold him like this.

“I was surprisingly comfy,” I say, stretching my arms up. He uses the opportunity to kiss my neck and I stand up before my body leads me to do something I might regret.

“Coffee and breakfast?” he asks.

I nod. “I’m going to shower. Think you can find everything?”

“I think I’ve got it by now,” he says with a laugh. He groans as he gets to his feet, stretching his neck one way and then the other. “Yup, I’m going to be feeling that for a while. Ah well, nothing I can’t work out in the gym.”

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