Page 95 of Chasing Infinity

With that last word, Noah turns from me and leaves. I watch him walk away from me with his head bowed and his hands stuck in his pockets. My arms cross over my midsection, and I press my lips together, still tingling from the feel of his kiss. When I can’t see Noah anymore, I go back home, my mind spinning in circles.

The kiss troubles me for the rest of the night. It’s all I can think about. Noah basically ran away from me after it happened. What if he’s regretting it all? My relationship with Noah is better than ever, but still. What if he still sees me as his enemy? Someone who he can’t trust.

Was this all just part of his game? Part of a ploy to get me to open up to him so he can strike me where it will hurt the most?

Even as I think these thoughts, I know they’re not true. I recall how things have changed for us over the last year. Is now really the best time to be changing the dynamic again after how far we’ve come? Probably not.

With these thoughts plaguing my mind, I get in the shower and let the warm water run over my coiled muscles. When I get out, I braid my hair into pleats and fasten them with a tie before falling into bed. I do my best to clear my mind to get some sleep, but I know it’s no use. Every time I close my eyes, Noah’s face pops up in my mind. I toss and turn violently in bed, trying to get comfortable and clear my mind. However, even in the dead of night, I’m still wide awake, seeing his face flash repeatedly.

When I get up in the morning, I notice my eyes are bloodshot. Bright red stripes fill the whites of my eyes, exposing the restless night I had. I groan at my reflection in the mirror but decide there’s nothing I can do about it now. I find my clothes for the day and do my best to cover the dark circles under my eyes with concealer and foundation. Hopefully, I can just get to school, and things will go as smoothly as they usually do.

I stop at the café to grab breakfast and coffee on my way to school. I’m sitting at a table by the window, eating my muffin and sipping on my coffee. Something outside catches my attention, and I look out the window. Across the street, I spy Noah pacing back and forth on the sidewalk. His hands are in his pockets, and his head is bowed as if he’s deep in thought about something. My eyebrows raise when he stops and looks over at the café. He looks like he’s trying to decide whether to cross the street or not.

Disappointment courses through my body when he shakes his head and then turns away. I watch him walk down the sidewalk away from the café until he disappears around the corner. The pieces fall into place that I’m not the only one fretting about what happened in the park yesterday. I wonder if he was planning on coming into the café this morning to talk to me about it.

Apprehension settles in, and it occurs to me that maybe he wanted to catch me before school to tell me he didn’t want me to bring it up. Perhaps Noah regrets what happened yesterday and is worried that I’ll go around and tell everyone what happened. I know we’re in a better place now, but what if he’s still concerned that I’ll ruin his reputation?

I try my best not to let thoughts of Noah distract me during my first class, but again, it’s pointless. He’s all I can think about. My mind keeps replaying how his eyes looked as he leaned down to press his lips against mine and how his lips tasted against mine.

A whole-body shiver passes down my spine, and I glance around to see if anyone else in my class has noticed. Thankfully, no one did.

At this moment, I decide I need to find Noah and talk to him about what happened yesterday. There’s no way I can go on with my day until I address this with him. It’s going to drive me crazy otherwise. I tap my pencil eraser against the desk and glance at the clock. I need to get out of this classroom.

After the third hour, I see Noah walking with his friends down the hallway at school. He catches my eye for a brief moment. Again, his eyes dart away, redirecting his attention to Caleb, who’s saying something to him. The sinking pit in my stomach grows.

“Hey, I have something to do before class,” I tell Charlie and Eli, walking along with me. “I’ll see you in there, okay?”

I don’t give them time to respond as I chase after Noah, waiting until he’s just a few feet from me to say his name. He stops and turns towards me. Jordan and Caleb stop a few paces ahead of him, turning back to see the commotion.

Noah’s eyes scour my face, and he raises an eyebrow. “Can I help you, Parks?”

“I need to talk to you.”

He rubs the back of his neck as if he’s nervous about talking to me. “Class is starting soon. Don’t you think this can wait?”

I purse my lips, wrapping my arms tighter around the books I’m holding. “No, I don’t think so.”

Noah studies me a moment before turning back to his friends and letting them know he’ll be along in a moment. They head to class, and so does most of the student body as the bell rings, indicating the fourth hour. Within a minute, Noah and I are alone in the hallways.

He crosses his arms over his chest, looking at me expectantly. I shuffle my feet and then look him in his eyes. “I wanted to talk about what happened yesterday,” I say. “I let it slip about my dad, and I’m sure I don’t have to tell you why it’s important that no one finds out.”

Surprise crosses Noah’s features, and he blinks at me. “That’s what you wanted to talk about?”

“Yes,” I reply, my cheeks heating.

Noah steps closer to me until we’re close. As if they are a shield, I grip my books tighter to my chest. I know Noah wouldn’t hurt me—at least not anymore—but after what happened last night, I feel like I’m walking through a maze blindfolded.

“So you don’t want to talk about the other thing?”

“What other thing?” I ask, hoping I come across as unbothered, though inside I feel the complete opposite. My lips are still burning from last night's kiss, but I’m not ready to bring it up. “I figured you’d just want to pretend it never happened.”

“But it did happen.”

“Yes.”

“So now what do we do about it?” he asks, his voice low. He studies me with scrutinous eyes as if he can see right through me. A glimmer of hope lingers behind his cautious gaze, and my chest tightens.

My mouth feels dry as I ponder my words. “Noah, we’ve just become friends. I don’t think pushing the boundaries of that right now is a good idea.”

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