Page 96 of Chasing Infinity

“I see,” he responds, his shoulders stiffening. “Is it because of Monty? I thought you two lovebirds were broken up.”

“We are. That’s not it. I just think that—” I sigh. “Not that wecan’tever, but not right now. I like how things are between us right now.”

“You just want to keep me in your collection of boy toys,” he deadpans. “I understand. You want me to be there at your beck and call and leave you alone when you’re done with me?”

“No, that’s not it,” I argue defensively, startled by the low blow. My heartbeat is thrumming in my ears. I know I’m making a mess of this, and I’m not sure how to fix things. “I just don’t want to go in a new direction and lose our chance at a good friendship.”

“A good friendship,” he repeats, punctuating his words with a scoff.

I shuffle my feet. “It’s just… I don’t know. I trust you. More than I should, given our history. And I don’t want to risk ruining that because I’m sure I will. Please, just… can we forget about it?”

“Sure, Parks. Whatever you say.” He takes a deep breath and looks off, his eyes glazed over. “I gotta go. I’ll talk to you later, yeah?” His closed-off tone differs significantly from how he was just minutes ago, and I flinch away from his brush-off.

He doesn’t give me the chance to respond before turning and walking away from me, his shoulder bumping into mine as he brushes past. I purse my lips as I stand there by myself. Even though he agreed to what I asked of him, I still feel unsettled. In fact, I feel even more restless than I did before I talked to him. I have more questions without answers than I did this morning.

I figured talking to him and being honest would be an easy fix to my dilemma. Still, I’m realizing that nothing regarding Noah is ever easy.

Chapter 25

Noah

Noah - Age 17

“Quit it, Noah. I keep messing up my math problems with you smiling at me like that,” Parks protests, glancing at me before darting her eyes back down towards her homework. The frustration is evident on her face, spurring me to bother her even more. I lean against the counter towards her and give her a cheeky grin.

“Like what?”

A blush covers her cheekbones, and I find myself smiling even harder. “Nothing, it’s stupid.”

I lean even closer until we are face to face. Finally, Addison looks up at me fully, and a breath escapes her lips at my proximity. “Parks,” I say, drawing out her name.

“Like you think I’m pretty or something,” she murmurs, nervously tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

I back off for just a second, my eyebrows raising in surprise. That wasn’t what I was expecting her to say. It’s unusual for me to see Parks embarrassed about something, but at this moment, she definitely is. I realize that she’s not just uncomfortable butunsure, which is not something she’s used to.

“I do think you’re pretty,” I tell her the truth, and her shoulders relax. “I think you’re beautiful.”

Her eyes find mine, and I notice a twinkle that wasn’t there before. “You do?”

“Of course,” I say, thinking it’s probably the most genuine thing I’ve ever said to her.

Parks has quickly become one of my favorite people. That fact is such a night-and-day difference from a few years ago that I try not to think about it too hard. My mulling over how things have changed usually results in me developing a migraine. Still, those thoughts sneak up on me every so often, and I’m often overwhelmed with how much I realize I like her.

Addison’s eyes flare, and she studies my face before shaking her head and looking down at her homework. “Don’t just say that because you feel like you have to. I know what happened after the thing with the café, and your dad was just a one-off. And the kiss and everything was…well, it was good. Better than good, really. But we agreed that we shouldn’t press the limits, and I think we need to stick to that.”

I back off again, smirking. She’s the one who brought it up, but I’ll humor her. “Okay.”

“Look, Noah, I get it,” Parks huffs, setting down her pencil and staring at me. “This isn’t easy for me either. I’ve never… at least not like this. But you matter to me. A lot.”

“You’ve never what?” I prompt her, curious as to what she was going to say.

Parks presses her lips together in a thin line and looks at me, unsure. “I’ve never felt this way about someone. Not Eli, not anyone. Just you. And I’m scared because I like what we have, and I don’t want my stupid feelings to ruin anything.”

My heart shudders, and there’s nothing more I want to do now than to wrap her in my arms, hold her tightly to me, and never let her go.

Unfortunately, that doesn’t happen. Instead, the bell rings, indicating that our free hour is over. Before I get the chance to say anything else to her, Addison is packing her things and hurrying out the door. She won’t look at me on her way out, and I can see another rosy blush covering her face.

I stare after her and take a deep breath. Her words brought something to life inside of me that I didn’t know was dormant. This thing with Parks and me has been growing and evolving over the last few years. I know that the more time I spend with her, the more disappointed I become when I can’t be with her.

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