Page 66 of Last Call

“That rollerblading floozy.”

“I was so thrilled to finally have found a surrogate who I could bond with and she ends up being a lying, baby-making, sparkle-loving—”

“Harlot,” Nana finishes before taking a sip of her margarita. “You know, Thomas, there are other surrogates out there. There’s also adoption.”

“Penny broke my heart, Nana. I’m not sure I can get over her betrayal to try again. Besides, it’s harder for two gay men to adopt than a heterosexual couple. It could take us ages.”

“What’s the rush? You came to me when I was fifty. I did okay, didn’t I?”

“You did amazing.” I smile and reach for her hand. “And I’m forever grateful.”

“I know you are, honey.” She gently squeezes. “TJ, as you know, I’m a big believer in living life to the fullest. We can’t wait around and hope for something to land in our laps. We have to make it happen.”

“But Nana…”

“Don’t you banana me, mister.” She wags her finger, trying to sound stern, but her nose crinkles and she giggles. “Remember how I always used to say that to you?”

I nod, nostalgia making my eyes prick with tears. “I remember. ‘Don’t banana me’ and then you’d call me Mr. Pouty Pout Poutamus when I’d stomp my feet. It would make me so mad.”

“You were quite ornery.”

“Still am.” I crunch on a chip and sigh. “Kiki and the girls don’t think I’m taking this seriously.”

“Why would they think that?”

“Because they gave me this possessed scary doll as a test run for having a baby and I didn’t take care of it.”

“Hmm, and why didn’t you take care of it?”

“Because it wasn’t real. I want the real thing, Nana, not some weird doll.”

“I see. Well, I think they were trying to help you, honey. Sometimes you can be a bit self-absorbed.”

I drop the chip and stare at Nana. “I can’t believe you just called me selfish. That hurts.”

“It’s my fault, Thomas. I was too easy on you growing up. Treated you like you were the star of the show and lavished you with attention. Sometimes, you get blinded by what you want and you can be a real…buffoon to those around you. Like a prima ballerina.”

I open my mouth and shut it. Nana’s delivery may have been dismal, but she’s right. I have been self-centered. The girls were only trying to help and I ran their doll over with my car—accidentally, of course. And Connor…poor Connor. I’ve treated him so badly by not listening to what he wanted.

Nana raises an eyebrow, as if she could read my thoughts, and covers my hand with hers. “I’m truly sorry the Sparkle Queen didn’t work out. And I’m sorry I called you self-absorbed.”

“No, you’re right. I have been. I’ve been awful to the girls and to Connor. And now, I’m…lost. I don’t know which direction to turn.”

“Thomas, I raised you to be an independent, free thinker. That love always wins. And when life gets you down—”

“—you dance your way through it.”

She nods and smiles softly. “That’s right. Don’t take anyone’s shit and don’t give up when the chips are down.” She swirls a chip in the salsa. “Remember when you were bullied on the bus on the way home from school?”

“I remember. You made me go to Tiger Cub Academy Karate for self-defense.”

“Oh, you hated it. You wanted to spend your free time shopping at Bristol’s five and dime for yarn so I could crochet sweaters and socks for you.”

I raise my pant leg, displaying my hot-pink socks with monkeys on them she knitted for me. “I do love a good pair of fun socks.”

“But you never used your self-defense moves on those boys, did you? You went to the prettiest girl on the bus and asked for her help. No way would those losers pick on you in front of Lavonne Shelley and her friends. Oh, she adored you. I ran into her after you moved to California, you know. She said you were the one person she could be herself with. She never had to pretend she was the cool, pretty girl around you.”

“That’s sweet. It could have backfired if Lavonne had said no.”

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