Page 9 of Voyeur
I’d come.
I’denjoyedit.
Ilikedbeing watched.10It spurred me on more to imagine them watching, getting off to what I was doing.
In all my thoughts about what I’d agreed to do, my nerves had been the only ones I’d been concerned with. I never imagined that I would like it. Would I like being with Jackson? Would I begin to crave him too? How far would I be willing to go?
When I heard the click of the door, I sat up and watched the minute hand circle around, waiting two full rotations before I got up to leave. As soon as I walked out of the room, I went to the iPad and removed my options. I was done performing for the night, too overwhelmed with my first performance to continue. Instead, I stuck to Charlotte’s side and distracted myself with orders and customers, knowing I would eventually need to process the surprising reactions I had in the room.
But it could wait.
* * *
callum
“I had a great night, Cal. Would you maybe want to grab a drink at my place?”
I thought over Shannon’s offer, knowing it was more than a drink, knowing I should say yes, but my body was already breaking out in a sweat at the idea. “I’ve got an early morning, but maybe next time.” I added a smile to soften the rejection.
“Next time.” Her hand trailed down my chest as she stepped into me outside her car door. I moved my hand to her waist, as she probably expected, and leaned down to meet her halfway for a kiss.
I watched her eyes close and wondered what she saw behind them when her lips touched mine. She pressed close and I moved my mouth against her softer one, enjoying the connection, but unable to lose myself in it. Before it could become more, I pulled back with a peck, watching her eyes dreamily open and a small smile play across the flushed lips I’d just tasted.
With a flirtatious smile and heated look, she turned to open her door and said, “Call me,” before getting in. I nodded and stood back until she pulled out of the parking lot, but I wasn’t sure if I would.
I got in my own car and drove home.11The keys jangled too loud in the empty house, echoing against the walls, reminding me I was alone. I didn’t bother turning on the lights after I placed my keys in the bowl and set my wallet in line with the corner of the entryway table. Instead, I let the moonlight streaming across my hardwood floors through the open blinds guide me to the wet bar in the corner of the sitting room. I poured a shot of expensive bourbon. I didn’t keep too much alcohol in the house after the way I struggled with it as a teen, but tonight wore on me. I poured another before sitting back against the stiff cushions of the couch.12
This house was too big. I thought maybe if I had a house with so many rooms, a house that begged for a family, it would push me to fill it. Yet there I sat, in the dark, sipping bourbon, on my barely used couch in my barely used sitting room.
My mind wandered to Shannon and what she would think if I’d taken her up on her offer to go somewhere for drinks, preferably one of our houses. She was a beautiful woman. A slim body and medium height. Her breasts full and the cleavage she’d had on display alluring. She gave the vibe of a good girl who’d want to do dirty things in bed. Would she understand my desire to watch? Would she like it?13
I adjusted my hardening dick as I thought about bringing a woman to Voyeur to watch with me. Torn between watching the performance and watching her bare breasts heave in excitement.
Yet, I hadn’t taken Shannon home, because thoughts were just that. Enough to turn me on, but I was realistic enough to not act on them.
The quiet was getting to me, leading my mind to shadows I didn’t want to visit. I needed to get out of the house. I tossed back the last bit of bourbon and moved to the kitchen to wash and dry my glass, putting it away in the cabinet before grabbing my keys and heading out. My parents would be in town next week, and I wouldn’t be able to satisfy my desires while they were there.14
* * *
Confidence surroundedme as I walked through the door to Voyeur, entering my ID number into the program, even though it was unnecessary since everyone knew me. I waved as I passed some of the guards and regulars that had been there longer than me. When I reached the bar, I ordered a beer, remembering my two drinks at home. The bartender, Charlotte, set my bottle in front of me and left to attend to others. I grabbed my drink and turned to scan the crowds, trying to find someone I wanted to watch tonight.
Just as I brought the cold glass to my lips, I spotted her walking out of the back hallway. Her light brown hair looked mussed, fanning out behind her as she walked, like she’d just rolled out of bed. A flush stained her cheeks all the way down to her chest, making my eyes trail over her perky breasts, barely a handful. My mind raced with thoughts about what she might have just done, how she would have looked.
Instantly, my cock hardened as I stared at her slim body weaving between the patrons. She wore a minuscule Santa nightie and black, thigh-high stockings that made her legs look much longer than her short body could handle. She kept her head down for the most part, but when a woman stepped back, bumping into her, she glanced up with a smile that punched me in the chest. Her lips were full on her petite face and her smile almost too big. It was beautiful.
I stared as her features pulled me in, entranced me as I mapped every inch. Something about her ensnared all my senses and wouldn’t let me go. I couldn’t put my finger on what it was. Maybe physical attraction? It felt bigger than that, like a planet that was pulling me into its orbit.15
Too soon she slipped behind the wall I knew led to the employee’s lounge. I took one last quick pull of my drink and abandoned it, half full, at the bar before heading to the iPads where I could make my selection. Flipping through who was working for the night, I searched for her face. An urgency I couldn’t explain hit me. An excitement I hadn’t felt before lit a fire through me. I needed to watch her tonight. Watch her do anything as I wrapped my fist around my cock, imagining it was her, until I came.
When I found her picture, an asterisk stood beside it and my chest deflated. The asterisk was to let people know that she was no longer able to perform for the night.Fuck.Had I just missed her last performance? Had I missed my chance for the night?
Squeezing my sweaty palms into fists, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.16This wasn’t me. I didn’t let such strong emotions carry me away and affect my body like they were now. Another deep breath and I swiped my palms against my slacks. Then I opened my eyes and looked down one last time at her seductive eyes in the picture.
Continuing to swipe, I decided to find someone else to watch. I needed something harsh and angry to get some of the added frustration out that had suddenly taken over. I didn’t want the tediousness and teasing of BDSM, just rough. Finding a couple, I marked my preferences, noting that I’d be observing from the private room behind the one-way mirror.
Having made my choice, satisfaction rushed to the base of my spine, hardening my cock even more.
Reed could comment all he wanted about my sex life, but I had a plethora of options laid out before me.
