Page 10 of Voyeur
Who cared that I couldn’t bring myself to do any of them?
chapterfour
Oaklyn
I’d never masturbated so muchin my entire life as I had in the past two weeks. Each time seemed more intense than the last. Charlotte was right, the first time was the hardest, and it got better from there. She’d laughed and said, “I told you so,” when she saw me filling all three performance slots every night I worked.
A lot of clients had been similar to the first, only wanting the illusion of peering into something hidden, without actually seeing everything. But then there were some that wanted me topless and playing with my nipples, or not wearing any panties, or using a vibrator or dildo. Sometimes, I lay completely naked, exposed to whoever watched me or under the spray of the shower. Whatever they requested. My heart seemed to beat the fastest when they were completely hidden behind the dark glass in the connecting room.
Tonight felt different though, and feeling brave I’d left the option open to work with Jackson. Not that I was sure I’d take it, but I did it anyway, just to see how it would feel to have the option. So far no one had asked, and I felt both happy and sad about it.
The night had been pretty slow. People were probably still recovering from New Year’s Eve a few days ago, but it looked to be picking up when I rounded the corner from the back carrying the box of napkins Charlotte had asked me to get for her.
Good. I needed the distraction. The holidays had been hard this year because I couldn’t afford to go home. I loved Christmas with my whole extended family and watchingNational Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation1alone on my couch had been depressing. My parents had called, and everyone wished me a Merry Christmas, but it almost made it worse.
I had to pull back from talking to my parents after that. I didn’t want to resent them for the current situation, but I did, and showing how mad I was wouldn’t help anything. I knew they were sorry. I knew they would take it back if they could. I knew, and it didn’t help calm me at all. Instead, I’d rather avoid them. At least for now.
And it was the new year. I’d start school soon and that was the biggest positive to focus on. I was achieving my goals, no matter what.Thatwas my silver lining. Reaching the bar with a new resolve to focus on the positive, I set the napkins down with a smile.
Looking up, I noticed a man with a dark head of hair at the far end of the bar. He jerked away when I noticed him. Intrigued, I wondered if he’d been watching me. Maybe he’d be the one to request me tonight. The idea sent a thrill of excitement zipping through my body. He seemed large under the dim lights. I could see the breadth of his shoulders, straining against his charcoal suit, and how he sat farther above the bar top than the other men sitting around him.
Shadows hid his face, but I could see his long fingers gripping the glass before him. I imagined those fingers gripping his cock, stroking it as he watched. I pushed the napkins off to the side and began to round the bar, wanting a better look at him. Maybe if I would check to see if he needed something, flirt a little. Maybe I could entice him into watching me. I rarely saw the faces of anyone who watched me, and it didn’t bother me. It made it easier to detach. But something about this man made me need to see his face. Each step closer caused a flutter in my stomach. The possibilities were making me more excited than I’d been since I started.2
When I was just five bar stools away, a body blocked my progress.
“Oaklyn.” The way Jackson said my name, matched with his smile led me to believe he wasn’t about to ask me for the time.
“Yes, Jackson?”
He dragged a hand through his hair. “So, I was requested for a couple’s session, and they specifically mentioned you.”
My heart thumped in my chest. This was it. This was my opportunity to try something out with Jackson. I looked down at my watch and saw that I hadn’t been notified of a request.
“But why didn’t they fill out my form too?”
His smooth smile slipped a little. “Yeah. About that. You, uh, didn’t have the things requested on your availability, so mine was filled out since I’m listed as your partner.”
“What was the request?” I’d opened a partner option up but limited it to kissing and some heavy petting.
“It’s just sex.” When my eyes bugged, he held his hands up trying to stop my panic. “Before you freak out, the note says they’ll pay double the regular cost of the performance.”
My jaw snapped shut and I let those numbers roll through my mind. Just that one performance, at double the price, would cover almost all my supplies for the semester. Just the thought of having sex with Jackson, who I barely knew, in front of someone made me lightheaded. I knew eventually, I’d make my way to it, but I figured I’d have time to work up to sex.
My skin seemed to be alive with fire the way it heated at the idea, but my heart seemed to be pumping too fast. I didn’t know if it was because of excitement or fear.
“Look, I wouldn’t ask if the money wasn’t so great. Also, it’s been requested as lovemaking, so that usually entails below the covers. Kind of like all the times you’ve been getting off hidden by your underwear. I don’t have to penetrate. I can pull your thigh over mine and hide it.”
“Were there—” I had to clear my throat past the ball of nerves. “Were there any other requests?” I asked staring at his throat, watching his Adam’s apple bob.
“Um, just some oral. For you. I give you oral sex, but I can pretend to do that too,” he rushed to assure me.
The possibilities swirled in my mind, and I calculated the amount of solo performances I’d have to do to make the same amount of money. In the end, agreeing to this was the smart decision to make.
It wasn’t even real sex. I just had to be naked in front of Jackson and, honestly, that didn’t bother me. I wasn’t even sure what did bother me.
That I’d like it,a voice rang out in the back of my head.3
Squeezing my eyes closed, I nodded in agreement before I could change my mind. “Yeah. Sure, Jackson. Just let me know when.”
