Page 7 of Gin and Lava

“Whatever, asshole,” I say, releasing Nanna and going in for a hug. “Congratulations, by the way. Olivia’s awesome.”

“Don’t say whatever perverted shit you’re about to say about my wife!” Ned warns, hugging me tightly. “But yes, she is amazing.”

“I’ll wait to make comments about how bangable she looks in that dress until after the honeymoon,” I offer.

“Generous,” he says dryly, letting me go.

“Hey, I’m generous in more than one way.” I wiggle my eyebrows and Ned shakes his head at me, nodding to Olivia’s grandma like I ought to be polite, even though she’s the one who’s been cracking up at my entire dirty-joke repertoire half the night. “Nanna already knows what generous means.”

“You know, I saw you trying to sweet talk Naomi earlier,” Ned says, nodding across the patio to where the blonde beauty is leaning up against the patio railing and talking to Esme. “But sweet-talking Olivia’s grandma? That’s a low, even for you, Mason.”

“We’re in love,” I mock say, wrapping my arm around Nanna Reese like we’re meant to be. Of course, the whole time I’ve been dirty-joke-talking grandma, Ihavebeen stealing glances at Naomi. It’s unavoidable. Naomi’s like a Viking Princess that you can’t stop staring at. That’s partially because she’s got the damn presence of a Norse goddess and I half expect her to strut over here and bark out some hot order about how she can have whatever cock she wants, and partially because she might do the opposite and produce an ax from that flimsy dress and slice off my manhood.

Either way, I’d be impressed.

“Don’t encourage him,” Ned says to Nanna, pointing at me like I need babysitting. “And don’t give him any more champagne!”

Nanna bats Ned’s hand away and points to the reception through the window. “Go find your wife and do the boom-boom. I want great-grand babies!”

Ned’s eyes widen like he’s unleashed a beast. He tries to throw Nanna off the scent by turning his attention to me, catching my eye and nodding back to Naomi. “At least go hit on someone your own age, Haas.”

“Nanna and I are in love,” I deflect, trying to not look over his shoulder at the deep V of Naomi’s dress, which from this side angle shows more of her tits than she might’ve realized when she bought it. “And I think I’m causing far less of a scene over here with grandma than the one where Naomi punches me.”

“She danced with you three times,” Ned replies, schooling his features in that way that says he’s got more evidence if I dare to argue with him.

“It’s a wedding,” I deflect again. “People are polite. But you’re the groom. If you’d like me to go over and see if Naomi will let me finger her while you guys cut the cake and smoosh it in each other’s faces, I can.”

“That’s not what I meant, and we already cut the cake.”

“We’ve got twenty years of friendship under our belt, Ned,” I warn. “What makes you think I’d open with something different?” I shake my head mockingly.

Ned turns to Nanna. “Hang out with Mason at your own risk,” he warns, pointing at me again. “I’m not responsible for what he says or does.”

Nanna laughs, like she can handle herself, which I’m absolutely sure she can.Then, Ned catches my eye and nods back at Naomi again. “Opportunity.” Ned shrugs. “That’s all I’m saying.”

“When did you become Connor?” I toss back. “Isn’t he the one who’s supposed to pimp out his friends?”

Ned shrugs. “Getting laid is nice, Mason.”

“Holy shit!” I’m pushing off the patio railing behind me and pulling Ned into a headlock. “Olivia has pussy-zapped your brain! Are you having so much sex now that you’re going to start talking like Arie and Connor, who wish they could doll out orgasms like they’re the tooth fairy?”

My attempt to keep my best friend in a headlock is futile. Ned’s bigger than me, smarter than me, and strong as a bull. Of course, that doesn’t mean I’m not scrappy as hell. We wrestle for about three-point-two seconds, before Ned’s slammed me in a chair next to Nanna and has removed all alcoholic beverages within a five-foot radius.

Ned slaps a glass of water in my hand and tells me to cool it, before walking back into the reception to find his wife.

“I love you too, man!” I call out as Ned walks away. When I turn back to Nanna with a grin—she’s frowning at me, no longer impressed. “Really? You too? No more dirty jokes and champagne?”

Nanna shakes her head sharply. “Drink water,” Nanna instructs. Then, she nods across the terrace to Naomi. “Then you need to boom-boom pretty girl.”

I bring the glass of water to my lips and shake my head. “I love your determination, Nanna, but that girl is never going to boom-boom me.”

Nana looks at me like I’m crazy, frowning at my defeatism. “You a sexy young man,” she says, pinching me like she did Ned a minute ago, and damn, it hurts! “She’s a sexy young woman. The math is easy.”

I look across the terrace and know some equations are not that simple. “I sucked at math in high school, Nanna.”

“You own a business,” Nanna snaps. “Don’t bullshit me.”

I turn to her with a grin. God, I love this woman.

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