His words tingled on my skin and seeped into my heart. Did he genuinely care for me? This sounded like much more than just an affair. But... could and should I want that? My job was still at stake. Yet here, in this moment, with his deep, sincere gaze fixed on me, I could only feel. My thoughts and reason had abandoned me.

»Do you want to...,« I began as he was about to turn away, and he halted in his movement. »Do you want to stay?«, I asked softly.

He swallowed hard and ran his hand through his dark hair. His gaze wandered through the tall window panes towards his apartment. I had wanted it that way. I had wanted the distance, and yet it felt painful when I heard his words, because now I was even more certain of how desperately I wanted him.

»We both know how the evening will end if I don’t leave.« He approached me, bent down, and pressed a kiss on my forehead. »So, I must,« he whispered and left without looking back.

Damn it. Unshed tears burned hot in my eyes, and even though I knew he was right, the certainty of not being able to have him hurt more than I had convinced myself.

15

Baron

»I haven’t seen you in ages. How long has it been now?«

I took a bite of the best lobster roll I’d ever tasted. In the evening, I’d spontaneously decided to take a walk and meet my old friend Theo, who was in town on business. We grabbed some food from a food truck with a pretty brunette saleswoman near his hotel and strolled down 5th Avenue to reach our old favorite bar. The cold, crisp air and conversation with my friend were invigorating, yet I could think of a thousand better things I’d rather be doing at that moment. And all of them had to do with Grace. I was completely smitten, and I couldn’t even deny it.

»Way too long, sorry, man. The release really consumed me.« And if it hadn’t, I’d spent every free minute with something else. Or someone.

»You’re going to work yourself into the grave, I’ve always said that.«

»At least you’re relaxed enough for both of us.«

Theo laughed, but that statement was only half-true. He was one of the biggest hotel moguls in the country, continually buying new hotels to mold them to his wishes and specifications until they became veritable money-making machines. He worked at least as much as I did. »Oh yeah, and I’m not going to die of a heart attack at forty.«

»Well, that’s a relief,« I replied, shoving the last bite into my mouth and chewing before continuing, »Then I have eleven good years left.«

Theo playfully slapped me on the back. »So make the most of your time, as long and as well as you can.« He winked at me, and I knew exactly what he was alluding to. Theo wasn’t exactly known for having long-lasting relationships. Hell, neither was I. Just a few weeks ago, I hadn’t even remotely considered anything like that because I believed that love lasting a lifetime simply didn’t exist. And now? My thoughts couldn’t get away from the most fascinating, beautiful woman I’d ever met. A few days had passed since I’d been to her place and apologized. Leaving after she’d asked me to stay had been one of the hardest decisions of my life. But I knew it was the right one, for the moment. She needed to establish herself in her new job, and I didn’t want to be responsible if she lost it. Damn, I still had no idea what had happened to her old job or why she was currently living in her grandma’s apartment, but it definitely had something to do with something that was troubling her. If she didn’t want to tell me, I had to respect that and understood as well. I was the last person to pour out my broken heart to others.

»Aw, shit!« Theo exclaimed, abruptly stopping at the entrance to our favorite bar. The garish neon sign for Peaches blinked frantically and attention-seeking. »You’ve been hit, haven’t you?«

»What? What are you talking about?« I pushed him aside and entered the bar through the tall glass door. The decor consisted of elegant leather lounge-style furniture, low tables made of dark wood, and a chrome-mirrored bar behind which three young bartenders with white bow ties and black shirts mixed drinks. At least a handful of women turned around and sized us up as we headed for a vacant booth in a corner and took our seats. Not too long ago, I would have engaged with every gaze and chosen the woman I desired for the night. Now, only one could make me hard. I was a hopeless case.

»I’m just going through a phase, nothing more.«

»A phase?« Theo snorted with laughter and slumped onto the opposite couch. »Nice way of saying you’ve handed over your balls and your independence.«

»Fuck you,« I growled. A waitress in tight black jeans approached our table and gave us a seductive eye-flutter. Nothing. Nothing happened in my body.

»What can I get you?«

»Two whiskey sours,« Theo placed our standard order.

»One whiskey, one Laori Juniper with tonic,« I corrected him.

»Non-alcoholic?« Theo choked, but I nodded to the waitress as she looked at us questioningly. As she left our table, I rested my arms on the backrest of the bench and ignored Theo’s stares. It was a mistake to go out with him today in my current mood, but I couldn’t stand being in my apartment watching Grace, nor hanging out and working at the office any longer. Slowly but surely, I was losing my mind.

»Alcohol won’t solve my problem,« I said, clenching my jaw. »Don’t look at me like that, I find it just as disgusting as you do,« I replied to his shocked expression.

»A quickie in the storage room with the hot waitress and two whiskeys, and things will look very different.«

»Just wait till you find yourself in my shoes.«

He shook his head so quickly I was afraid he’d get whiplash. »No way. I’m immune to that kind of thing.«

A wolfish grin formed on my face. »You mean against women?«

»I mean against putting chains on my dick and forbidding it the pleasures of life.«