Page 74 of Beneath the Surface

She shrugs. “I’m tired. Think I’m just gonna go grab Chase and call it a night. Thank you for the dinner.”

My heart palpitates as she moves to walk by me, like it knows that if she walks away now, this will be it. She won’t open back up. And Ineedher to open up so I can figure out a way to tell her everything else. “No.”

She pauses, her back stiffening. “No?”

I move forward, small puddles splashing under my feet until I reach her, gripping her waist and dragging her into me. My hand grips behind her head, tangling in the strands of her hair, my other palm cupping her neck, fingertips grazing along the bottom of her jawline. I wrench her head back sharply so she looks me in the eye.

A small gasp escapes her perfect lips.

“You can stop singing for everyone in the world, little bird, but not for me.” My grip tightens on her neck, her pulse skittering underneath my palm. “You want to be mad?Be mad.But you stay here with me and youfight.”

Her eyes flicker, and my chest tightens. “Are you going to let me explain?”

I pull her hair by the root, strong enough where I know she’ll feel the sting, and her eyes flare, raging back to life. Relief worms its way through the beats of my heart.

Her hands curl into fists and her pliable body grows rigid.

“Explain what,Alexander?” she spits. “How I opened up and shared things with you tonight and thought you did the same only to find out you wereengagedto be married?” Her hands smack against my chest, the heat of her hurt singeing through my skin.

“I don’t need this.” She pushes against me. My grip on her tightens. “I don’t even know who thefuckyou are.”

Thunder claps loud enough to make her jump, and I take the opportunity to grasp her waist, pulling her until every inch of her body is flush against me.

“You can lie to yourself all you want,” I say. “But don’t lie to me. You want to know the truth? I’ll tell you. YouknowI will. So what is it that you’re so afraid of hearing?”

She scoffs, ripping out of my arms, and rushing into the downpour. I let her, my heart banging against my sternum as harsh as the storm that booms in the air.

“Goddamnit!” I race after her, ignoring the way the rain blinds my vision and chills my skin. “Yes, okay? I was engaged.”

She ignores me and keeps moving toward the staircase.

“Yes, I thought I loved her.”

Her steps falter, but only for a moment.

I follow her, irritation at the way she’s not even willing tohearme, propelling me forward. “Yes, I was going to tell you.”

She pauses halfway up the stairs and turns toward me, lightning striking across the sky, highlighting the wetness on her face. Her hair is matted, stuck against the side of her cheek, drenched from the rain, and her eyes are paralyzing with their intensity.

My heart ricochets off the walls of my chest cavity, echoing the sound of my footsteps on the stairs as I make my way to her. I stop when I’m one step down, my face level with hers. My hands reach out and cup her face, leaning in until our noses brush together.

“No,” I whisper. “I never felt a fraction for her what I feel for you.”

She sucks in a breath, and I lean so close I can taste the raindrops on her lips.

I hold her face tight, keeping her locked in my gaze. “I loveyou, Lily.”

Her eyes well with tears, her breath stalling in her chest. I see the moment my words click into place, and it makes relief douse the panic that was coiling tight inside me. She leans in, pressing her lips to mine, and I promise myself right there, that after tonight, I’ll tell her the truth.

The whole truth.

And then I’ll beg her forgiveness and pray to whatever God exists that she’ll keep me in her life.

35

Lily

The first time a man told me he loved me I was nine years old.

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