Page 111 of Beneath the Surface

I look at the clock.

One hour to go.

51

Lily

Lunch goes surprisingly well, but even without the animosity I expected, even though they’re welcoming me back, kid in tow, there’s still a gaping hole that’s throbbing in the middle of my chest from being all alone. Surviving heartbreak, while being surrounded by loving relationships.

It’s hard to not feel like the odd man out.

I can’t help the punch to my gut, realizing their lives moved on without me, as if I wasn’t here to begin with. Pleasant looks and polite smiles come my way, but I don’t get to laugh at the inside jokes. I don’t get to feel like one of their puzzle pieces; the way they all seem to effortlessly click together. A well-oiled machine they’ve had years to perfect.

And then there’s me, surrounded by love but never really getting to know it.

Although, if I’m honest with myself, that’s not quite true.

I’ve known love. I’ve felt it in the depths of my soul. Laid it in the palm of somebody’s hand while they held my broken fragments and pretended I was whole.

Even if it wasall a lie.

Grief claws at my insides, the memory of the way he felt—the waylifefelt with him, causing a sharp pain to radiate across my chest, settling low in my gut.

As mad as I am, as disappointed and betrayed as I feel, part of me still had hope he would at least tryto explain himself. But maybe he was waiting for the first excuse to leave.

Or maybe he knew there was nothing real worth saving.

I sit at the outdoor table after putting Chase down for a nap, the baby monitor gripped tightly in my hand. Clinking glass draws my attention.

Chase stands behind Lee at the head of the table, a grin on both of their faces. “Everybody listen up,” Chase shouts. “You guys already know my long-lost baby sister is finally back home.” His eyes narrow. “Where shefuckingbelongs.”

My cheeks flush as I grin, raising my water glass in a toast.

His face breaks into a smile and Jax lets out a giant whoop, making Blakely burst out in a fit of laughter. It spreads around the rest of the table, a ball of warmth bouncing around in the middle of my stomach.

“But, that’s not the only reason we wanted everyone to get together,” Chase continues. “I’d love to say you’re all gonna be the first to know, but we already told our parents… and Lily, so… you’realmostthe first to know.”

“Saving the best for last!” Jax cuts in again.

“Exactly.” Chase’s hand grips Lee’s shoulder, and I cock my head, thinking about Lee’s parents for the first time in years. I wonder how they are. Her mom was always one of my favorite people. Always doling out life lessons like they were pieces of her famous banana bread.

Lee’s eyes sparkle. “We’re gettin’ hitched, y’all!” She takes a ring out of her pocket and slips it on her finger, beaming from ear to ear.

Becca shrieks, jumping up from her chair. “Holyshit!The bastard finally asked!”

Everyone bursts out laughing again, even me, and for the first time all night, I feel like I’m part of something. Like this isfamily.

I didn’t expect everyone to be so forgiving. So... grown. So matured. Becca rushes over to grab Lee in a hug, and I don’t miss the way Lee’s mouth tightens and her skin pales.

Not pregnant, my ass.

Blakely clears her throat. “Well, I know I’m the newest member of the group, but I just want to say how happy I am to be part of this. Anyone who stands next to you guys for even a second can see how absolutely in love you are. How you’re meant to be together.” She presses a hand to her chest, and Jax smiles at her, his heart pouring through his eyes as he leans in and kisses her right on the mouth.

My eyes tear up at Blakely’s words, my gaze swinging over to Chase and Lee, watching them together. At the way whenever she moves, he follows. Like they’re two halves of a whole, complementing each other in perfect harmony.

Suddenly, realization smacks me in the face.

I feel like the villain.

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