Page 46 of Beneath the Surface

“Yeah, Mase... you should.” He pauses. “Listen, sort your shit out, okay? Forget about the job for a second, and just consider the decisions you’re making, and the effect they’ll have on your future. And if you can’t do that, then think about hers, and her kid’s.”

“Yeah.” My stomach rolls.

“There’s a reason why you came to me ten years ago.”

Nausea teases my throat as we say our goodbyes, because he’s right. I’m making shitty decisions. But I just got her. I’m not ready to lose her yet. Still, I know I can’t keep living this lie, so that only leaves one option. I have to figure out a way to come clean. My stomach churns at the thought, anxiety creeping along the edges of my nerves and making them fray.

Maybe she’ll forgive me.

Maybe she’ll let me stick around.

My brain replays Don’s words on repeat as I lean back in my chair, Lily’s taste from earlier still on my tongue, my eyes bouncing from the computer with her files to the TV on the dresser.

You should watch the news.

Something breezes across my back, causing a chill, and I already know that whatever is on there is something I won’t want to see. But Don wouldn’t have brought it up if it wasn’t important. Reaching over, I grab the remote, the sound of the screen flicking to life loud in the otherwise silent room.

My body is tense, every muscle coiled tight, preparing myself for something that, deep down, I’ve been expecting for a long time. The past ten years have been nothing but a waiting game, and I know without even looking that this is it.

The moment I’ve been dreading.

I should have moved out of the fucking country when I had the chance.

Flipping through the channels, I pause when I get to the nightly news, my heart dropping into my stomach like a bomb.

“The presidential race is heating up, and although we won’t be hearing the parties’ official nominees until later this year at the national conventions, there are two names that stand above the rest, being touted as the clear frontrunners. Congressman Ron Damoine for the Democratic ticket. And Senator Thomas Wells, as the presumed nominee for the Republicans.”

“That’s right, Diana. Senator Wells has come out strong in the Iowa caucus, and people believe his base of family, faith and constitutionalism will easily win over the votes needed.”

I turn the TV off, throwing the remote, the cracking sound as it hits the black screen dulled from the pounding in my ears. My fists clench and unclench as I try to rein in the rage that’s boiling in my veins.My body is physically shaking, and the toothpick in my mouth splits in two from the force of my clenched jaw.

Family.

Faith.

Thomas Wells wouldn’t give a shit about his family if it came up and bit him on the ass.

I should know.

I’m his son.

22

Lily

I’ve given into the fact that I have feelings for Alex, and I don’t know where the hell they came from. I haven’t felt anything for anyone in years. Not since I was an impressionable fourteen-year-old girl, confusing manipulation from a narcissist as true love.

But with Alex… I’ve never felt the type of security and safety I do with him. The level of trust—not the type that’s earned—but the type that’s intrinsic, like my soul is reaching out and twining with his.

I’ve never been able to share the dark parts of myself. Never had someone who asked to see them.

But he does. He asks, and it makes me feel everything.

Andeverythingis scary. After years of using every tactic possible to avoid facing emotion, the feeling is overwhelming. Old habits threaten like a thundercloud, looming over my blue skies without the promise of a rainbow after the storm.

Which is why I’m on the phone with Derek.

“So. Alex, huh?”

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