Page 42 of Heart of a Rebel

But then the nightmares started. Alone in my bed, I’d feel his hands on me. I’d feel his breath on my neck while he split my soul. I’d feel his memory like an actual presence haunting me. Something years of therapy still hasn’t fully mended.

But as if he sensed me trying, he wanted me to know he wasn’t done. My body wasn’t enough, he wanted my mind as well. And it all started with a single white rose.

I don’t let go of the sink and stare into my dark eyes. My pupils are dilated in the dim light of the bathroom, and they remind me of the black holes I stared into long after the night we signed with the label. Pools form at the brim of my eyelids and slip out, no matter how strong I try to be. Because one moment takes me back to a time in my mind there’s no escaping.

I step back and sit down on the closed toilet.

If I thought the roses were enough to break me all over again, now he’s escalating. And I’m still no closer to figuring out who he is. Like the phantom that drugged me and drained me, he hides behind his messages.

Haunting me. Stalking me. Making it known I’ll never escape him.

And I have no idea why.

A knock at the bathroom door makes me jump, bringing me back to the reality of my tour bus. When I ran into the bathroom, Adrian had to have seen the message on the mirror, and I know the time has come. I’ve hidden the truth for years, hoping burying it would give me the power to make the pain in it disappear. I was wrong.

The threat drawn on the mirror in red lipstick is not only an escalation, but also a message that he has access. He somehow slipped past security and found his way into my personal space, and I can’t help the bile rising in my throat with the thought.

I open my hands in my lap and look at the daisy necklace I’ve clenched so hard there are indents in my skin. A necklace that meant so much when Adrian slipped it around my neck the night we signed our record deal, and it feels like a lifetime since I’ve seen it.

Since the man who raped me stole it from around my neck.

If I had any doubts about the identity of the stalker who was leaving me white roses, they’ve been put to bed. Only one person hadthis.

“El, can I come in?” To my surprise, it’s not Adrian’s voice, but Sebastian’s.

I’m not sure if I’m relieved or panicked as everything I’ve been hiding knocks against my ribcage fighting to get out. I never told anyone what happened back then, not even my brother. And although the jokes about my lack of a dating life got old over the years, it was easy to brush it off and let them think whatever they wanted about why I was celibate. But now, everything I’m not prepared to face is coming to the surface.

There’s no going back.

I tip my head up and take in a deep breath again, counting to five on the inhale and ten on the exhale. I try to calm the racing in my chest, before standing up and wiping the wetness away from beneath my eyes.

Reaching for the door handle, I pull it open and find my brother on the other side with his hands caging the doorframe. His jaw is clenched, and his expression is dark as he takes me in. His gaze drifts to my wet cheeks, and it feels like the invisible scars I’ve buried are peeking through.

“I’m okay,” I lie before he has a chance to ask.

I wish he’d believe it, but the lift of one eyebrow bleeds with doubt. Just because I’m the more perceptive of the two of us, doesn’t mean he’s not still my twin. One look and he can see straight through me.

“I’m firing your security guard.” His teeth clench.

Sebastian’s solution to everything is to fire people, so I shouldn’t be surprised.

He lets go of the doorframe and stands up taller. A pinch between his eyebrows shows the vulnerability he rarely offers. One look and I see the boy I grew up with standing in front of me. The one who slept on my floor when my mom partied with random guys. The one who looked at me as his little sister, even if we’re the same age. I see someone I haven’t seen in a long time, and it’s unnerving. Because it means the severity of the situation is something I can’t keep avoiding.

“If you fire them, then what?” I cross my arms over my chest, trying to sound nonchalant as I hold onto the remaining fragments of my tough exterior. “You going to sleep at the foot of my bed like when we were kids so you can watch over me?”

Sebastian tips his head back and runs his fingers through his dark blond hair. “This isn’t funny.”

“No fucking shit.”

His eyes drop to mine, and I realize I said that out loud, but it’s all spilling out, and I can’t seem to stop it.

“Adrian called the cops; they’ll be here soon.” Sebastian looks me up and down, assessing my reaction.

I do my best not to let it show. Because him telling me the cops are coming means I’m going to have to do the one thing I’ve avoided for years.

I’m going to have to admit out loud what broke Eloise Kane.

Admit that I’m a shell of the person I replaced.

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