Page 41 of Heart of a Rebel

“You have a girlfriend?” I ask, even if I already know the answer.

Adrian nods as the weight in my belly sinks. He’s telling me because I need to know. He’s telling me because it’s serious.

“It’s just—”

“Adrian, it’s okay.” I smile wider, but my grip on my arms tightens. “I’m happy for you. This is a good thing.”

His face falls, almost like he’s disappointed at my approval, but he recovers quickly. “Thanks, El.”

I nod. “Go have fun, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

While I thought Adrian was spending every other night at a strip club with Rome, apparently, he’s been seeing someone. And while it might seem unusual, this feels worse than random women rubbing their breasts on him. This is a relationship.

A girlfriend.

My heartbeat hammers between my temples at the thought because he’s actually moving on.

Adrian steps back. “Before I go, I almost forgot, something was delivered for you. It’s on the counter.”

“From who?”

He shrugs. “No clue. An admirer.”

It’s an odd thing to say because usually my fan mail is directed elsewhere, but he doesn’t seem worried, so he’s probably just messing with me.

“All right.” I go to step past Adrian, expecting him to move, but he doesn’t, bringing us really close.

He smells intoxicating, and I realize he must be wearing a new cologne. The scent, mixed with the way the fabric on his thin long sleeve white shirt stretches his chest, reminds me of things I’d prefer to stay buried.

I dare to look up at Adrian, with him only a step away, and he holds my stare. Something works behind his cinnamon eyes, and in this moment, I wish I could take back everything I said to him years ago. I wish the truth had come out instead of my harmful lies. But just as I’m about to open my mouth and say just that, he steps away, breaking our staring contest.

“Have a good night, El,” he says and walks away without so much as looking back at me, even if my eyes don’t leave him until he disappears around the corner.

All I can do is watch him go and wait until I hear the garage door close behind him, before unfreezing my feet. My regret doesn’t need to ruin things, so I have no choice but to bottle it up.

I head into the kitchen with a sour feeling in my gut from the way Adrian left. Staying with him is the worst idea I’ve had in years, and there’s no getting out of it.

Turning the corner, I see a single white rose sitting on the counter with a card next to it. It’s an odd delivery and seeing as I haven’t dated in years, I’m not sure who would be sending it to me. But it feels nice to be appreciated, especially with my favorite thing in the world—flowers.

Maybe it’s from Sebastian, who has been trying to get on my good side as we start writing this new album. We’ve already argued a few times about the direction, and at this rate, the band is going to be fighting nonstop before we go back on tour.

I walk over and pick up the rose, spinning it between my fingers and taking a deep inhale of it. I love roses, but then again, I love all flowers. Setting it down, I pick up the card, peeling it open.

There’s no indication on the outside who it’s from. The only writing is my name in perfectly neat letters on the envelope. But when I pull out the card and read it, my head starts hammering. The air gets fuzzy, and my insides are tearing. Because the message isn’t sweet at all.

YOU’RE MINE, ELOISE. DON’T FORGET IT.

15

Eloise

Igripthesinkand refuse to close my eyes. I refuse to sink into a place where the man in my nightmares can still reach me.

I count down from ten, as I let out a deep breath.

It’s a trick my therapist taught me when I was in the depths of coping with what happened. And some days it feels like the only way to drown out damage laced so deep I’m not sure I’ll ever escape it.

At first, I was numb. At a time when I should have been feeling, I couldn’t. Because if I did, it meant it was real—I’d been raped. It was impossible to process.

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