Page 47 of Exquisite Temptation

Silent tears of relief trickle down my face as I lay down her restored eternity titanium collar with a little pearl rose on the black marble pedestal. Throwing one last glance at her grave, I rise to my feet and walk away, my heart soaring with lightness for the first time since she died.

Chapter 28

Micaela

"I am like a snake who has already bitten. I retreat from a direct battle while knowing the slow effect of the poison."

Anais Nin

Istareattheblack roiling wraiths of clouds churning through the sky in a trancelike state, listening to "Wrecking Ball" on repeat. Pressure builds in my chest as intolerable desolation swathes me like a blanket. The thing about grief is it’s like trying to sort through the rubble of what’s left of your life after the earthquake of loss has hit.Breathe,I remind myself.Tomorrow, you will have a better day.

"Babe, it’s time we play something else. How about we switch to something more upbeat? 30 Seconds to Mars?" Allie covers my hand with hers, prompting me to snap back.

I crane my neck, shifting my attention to her and Katie, guilt riding me hard because I don’t want them to worry about me. In times when the winds blow, waves crash and your boat lunges violently, you are bound to struggle to keep a firm grip on the wheel, but eventually you will regain control.

"We can dance it out like we do in our body psychotherapy class. It will help you release the stuck emotions in your body," Katie suggests, gazing at me with dark eyes full of gentleness and understanding.

I bob my head, but my distracted mind drifts off back to Miley lamenting about how all she wanted was to break his walls, but all he ever did was to wreck her. If he can’t see what he has lost, it’s his loss, not mine. Fuck him.

"It’s all my fault for ending up with a broken heart again. He didn’t force me to lay myself bare and let him in. I did it all by myself." Resting my chin on my knees, I squeeze my eyes shut. "I’m locked in a glass cage of emotions…and there is no escape, no way out until I accept he isn’t ready to share himself with another person yet." Air whizzes through my teeth into my starved lungs. "But oh, God, the pain is unbearable at the moment…it feels like a clawed hand breaks my chest open and grips my beating heart, ripping it out, then puts it back and does it again and again." A haunted, pained look flashes across Allie’s face. She doesn’t need to tell me what she is thinking. I was there when she lost her baby.

"This is exactly how I felt when I lost my bubba. It was like standing in the middle of a frozen lake and slowly falling through, knowing there was nothing you could do to save yourself. Heartache is fucking painful. I wish I could do something to take your pain away, but I can’t."

Katie puts her hand on my shoulder, patting me. "We got you, girl. No matter if it’s morning, noon, or night, you can call me and cry, vent, we can trash Master Christopher together, or talk about anything else you want."

"Thank you, both. You’re the best. Please don’t worry about me." I turn my gaze to Allie. "You know me better than anyone. Listening to sad songs, eating copious amounts of chocolate chip ice cream, and moping about in PJ’s helps me process my emotions. This ain't my first rodeo. It’s just the roughest one." Allie’s eyes move to Katie, exchanging a look with her. Lifting her mug, she takes a leisurely sip of her coffee as if nothing has happened.

"What is it?" I dart my eyes between Katie and Allie, who stare at me with sheepish expressions.

"Mm…I saw Master Christopher last Saturday, and he looked like he'd been through the seven circles of Dante’sInferno." She curves her lips into a sad smile, scanning my face for my reaction. Raising my brow, I offer her a questionable gaze, my mind swirling with millions of questions.

Does he miss me? If he does why hasn’t he called me or knocked on my door? Is he waiting for me to ring him first?He tried, but you wanted to punish him, so you didn’t answer his calls or texts.

"Really? Good, let him suffer. I’d kick him back for another round." I chuckle, my heart racing like a galloping horse.

Katie nods and twirls her finger in the air, singing. "Burn, baby, burn!"

I love him, and I’d never wish him any harm of any kind, but, suddenly, my mood lifts from the knowledge that he might suffer like me, which means there is hope for us.

Allie shakes her head and stares at me with mock disbelief while fighting to keep her face composed. "Wow! That was savage, babe." We look at each other, bursting into a fit of giggles.

When we stop, she changes the song to "The Kill". My skin erupts in goosebumps when Jared’s dramatic, raspy voice booms from the speakers. Allie jumps to her feet and grabs my arm, pulling me up. It’s her favorite song and got her through some tough times.

"Come on, Katie, let’s do this." Katie pushes her chair and stands up, joining us.

We jump up and down, spin, and twirl around each other, laughing and singing at the top of our lungs. Allie’s chocolate hair comes undone, flying around her and whipping her face. Katie lifts her long maroon wrap dress and whirls around, making a goofy face. My jeans ride low on my hips, exposing my stomach, but I don’t care. I raise my arms above my head, losing myself in the song. When the chorus comes on again, I shake my head in rhythm with the music, screeching like a banshee repeatedly. I can’t sing to save my life. Allie and Katie scrunch their faces and cover their ears, laughing. Just as the song finishes, my phone jingles. Skipping to the table, I check my messages. Surprise wrecks my knees, turning them into mush.Sit down before your ass falls on the floor.

Sadistic Prince‘I miss you. Are you free tomorrow for coffee? We need to talk.’

I hold my cell, staring at his message as if it’s written in another language. The music stops, and the girls run back.

"You okay? What’s going on?" Allie demands with an urgent tone. Unable to speak, I lift the phone and show them the message. Both of them scream excitedly, almost perforating my eardrums.

"Oh, my God! Are you saying yes? Please, tell me you will say yes!" Katie claps her hands, her almond-shaped eyes flicker with anticipation.

"Hell yeah, but I won’t reply immediately. I'll make him sweat." She grins at me, showing her full rack of pearly white teeth.

Allie shakes her shoulders and snaps her fingers, dancing in place. "What are you going to wear? Casual or sexy?"

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