Page 78 of Everything She Feared

Taken aback at how Katie had turned things around to her, Sara swallowed. “Yes, I suppose a lot of people have troubling thoughts at one point or another. That’s just human nature.”

“Tell me about your bad thoughts when you were a girl.”

Searching her daughter’s eyes, the truth hit Sara full force.

I can’t tell Katie—just like she can’t tell me.

“I’m not sure about when I was a girl, but I had some very sad thoughts when your dad died, then when Grandpa died. I guess you’d call them dark thoughts.”

Analyzing Sara’s answer, Katie was quiet. If she’d concluded that sad memories were not the same as bad thoughts, that Sara was not being entirely honest, she didn’t say. She withdrew and remained silent.

Sara left things there.

Both of them were in pain. For a while, they gazed down to the water, watching the ferries crossing Elliott Bay. Then Sara said, “We should get home. Tamika and her mom will be coming soon.”

“Thanks for this.”

Standing in her driveway, Sara embraced her friend Adina Nichol, who’d worked with her at the Jet Town Diner years ago. Adina waved off Sara’s thanks as they watched Adina’s daughter, Tamika, and Katie buckling up in the back seat of Adina’s Tesla.

“It’ll be good for Katie to hang out at our place for the afternoon, and good for you,” Adina said. “How’re you doing?”

“One day at a time.”

Adina’s eyes filled with empathy.

“You will get through this.”

“Thanks, I hope so.”

“So, how’re Mel and the gang?”

“Good. Same old, same old.”

Adina smiled, casting back. “We had some times, didn’t we, Sara?”

“We sure did.”

Then Adina said: “Stay strong, for Katie and for you.”

Sara smiled.

“Alright,” Adina said. “We’ll get going. I’ll have her back on time. And if you need anything or just want to talk, call me.”

“Thanks, you’re an angel.”

Watching them drive off, Sara waved, marveling at how Adina had put herself through college while working at the diner to become a nurse, enduring the pandemic and a divorce from an unfaithful husband. Sara was fortunate to have Adina as a friend, she thought.

Turning to her house, she caught a wink of bright light, like a small reflection, flashing from a vehicle parked down the street.Is that the same one as before? Is someone watching me?Squinting, she looked toward it. She knew most of the neighbors’ cars on her block. Unable to pinpoint the source, she let it go. Likely the sun on a windshield, she reasoned.

But inside her house she couldn’t shake off the feeling of being watched.

Was it the detectives? The media?

She tried shoving it out of her mind, but it gnawed at her. For most of her life Sara had feared that people were looking for her, following her—because of who I am.

Yet nothing had happened.

Maybe I let my imagination take over.

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