Page 32 of Sinner's Bond

“Blaine?” Mateo asks without opening his eyes.

“Blaine Roycroft,” I remind him.

“Oh yeah, the asshole who got shot.”

“Yeah, well he’s really been playing up the hero card on this one.”

Mateo lightly strokes my hand with his thumb on the ride home. When we get to my apartment, Mateo gets out of the car and holds the door open for me.

“We’ll find a time to go by Saints,” he says. He’s also letting me know that this is ‘goodnight’.

I’m disappointed, but I get it. I can’t have Mateo over again. I have to at least try to minimize the time we spend together not working on this case. Plus, it’s a work night.

“Goodnight,” I say.

I lean forward and kiss him on the cheek. He squeezes my waist between his hands and then lets me go. I head into my apartment building wishing things were simpler.

14

MATEO

I can feelthe effects of everything weighing on me. It’s like a toxic mix of concerns keep swirling around in my head. Who attacked the courthouse and where is Elio? What happened to Luca? Should I trust Klein? And what do I do about the other feelings I’m having about Klein? I don’t know how to answer any of these questions. They feel like they’re whipping around inside of me like a tornado.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt this depleted. Not even during the years when I was training full-time. I’ve never felt a physical exhaustion as much as I’ve been feeling the mental exhaustion. It just never lets up. Except for those brief moments of peace when I’m alone with Klein.

I’m confused about how to feel about this thing between us. I feel the natural desire to be with her. To keep getting closer to her. To even be honest with her. And it all unsettles me. Almost everything about her says I shouldn’t trust her. Where she works. Her involvement that got my men arrested. On paper, it’s obvious I should have cut her off as soon as I realized who she was.

But I can’t. Something in my gut just won’t let me.

I try not to get distracted by her. But she keeps floating into my mind. I find myself imagining things I never thought I’d imagine. What would it be like to not be in the Mafia? There’d be nothing in the way of Klein and I being together.

Or what if I just wasn’t the Underboss? What if I was more like Damien and just didn’t give a shit? But even as reckless as Damien can be, if he knew the truth about Klein and I, even he’d think I was the one making the bad decisions this time.

Damien and Raf meet me in my penthouse office to give me some updates. Damien swivels around in his seat, looking at everything in the office. I don’t know the last time he’s been up here.

“We’ve done like you said,” Raf tells me. “We’ve paired up each of our men with a Disciple. Given each of them a small territory to monitor.”

I feel like a principal who’s called the slacker and the quarterback into his office. Damien is slouched in his chair. He’s finally stopped looking all over my office. He’s now settled for staring out the large windows.

Raf on the other hand is sitting upright in his chair. He’s serious when he talks to me. I know he’s not always so serious, but his military background kicks in when he needs to be focused.

Raf continues.

“I’ve told each of them establish a presence and be seen. Visit the businesses. Tip well. If someone’s moving something, offer to help. Get to know everyone in that area, but most importantly, make sure they know you.” Raf grins. “Basically, I’ve told them to be as annoying as a couple kids on their mission trip.”

“Good,” I say. “A real ‘hearts-and-minds’ approach.”

I turn toward Damien and raise my voice slightly to make sure he’s paying attention.

“The goal right now is to hold that territory. Keep anyone from coming in and filling the void. That’s it. I don’t want anyone creating new deals, no shakedowns, no action. Just hold it. We’ll focus on building when the time is right.”

Damien looks at me and nods.

“Got it,” Raf confirms.

“What did you find out about Luca’s house?” I ask Damien.

Damien pulls himself to sit upright in the chair. Then he leans forward with his elbows on his knees. He’s rubbing his hands and examining them.

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