Page 96 of Beautiful Desire

Huffing out a tired sigh, I decide the only way to quickly move this conversation along is to tell him and get it over with.

“I asked Elle out on a date, and she practically ran out of my office.”

Total silence is all I hear from the other end of the phone. Surprisingly, he doesn’t give me shit. Instead, he decides to go down the route of talking about why he called. I’m pleasantly surprised and grateful at the same time.

* * *

Elle

Speed-walking as fast as I can into the women’s bathroom while pulling my cell out of my purse, I find Gia’s number and hit dial. Quickly locking myself in one of the stalls, I wait for her to answer.

Come on, G, pick up. Pick up, pick up.

Just as my hope of her answering dwindles, I hear her voice come through the line.

“Hey, E. Everything—”

Cutting her off before she can finish, I blurt it out.

“Dom asked me out. On a date. Tonight.”

I feel like I’m about to start hyperventilating. Trying to calm myself down, I close the lid on the toilet, take a seat, and take some deep, slow inhales.

After a few moments of silence, I pull my cell away, checking to see if Gia is still on the other end. The screen lights up, showing her name. When I know she’s still there, I start talking again.

“G, help. What the hell am I supposed to do?” I ask frantically, trying to figure out an answer.

“E, before I say anything else, you know I love you, right?” Gia replies.

My stomach sinks at hearing the tone in her voice. My gut feeling tells me that whatever she’s about to say is not the answer I want to hear.

“Yes, I know,” I say, deflated, awaiting her impending thoughts.

I hear Gia draw in a deep breath before she speaks again. “Look, I know I joked before and tried pushing you two together, especially with the run up to the wedding, but when you guys didn’t hook up that night, I realized that maybe he isn’t your person after all. Plus, you have Lily to think about now.”

A tense silence hangs between us. I was right. That is not the answer I was hoping for at all.

“I mean, does he know that Lily’s dad isn’t around, and you can’t just drop everything for him? He has to be understanding of that.”

That all-too-familiar feeling of nausea returns in my stomach, and I say the words I know she’s going to kill me for.

“He doesn’t know about Lily,” I say as guilt swirls inside me.

Tears gather in the back of my eyes. I’m not ashamed or embarrassed about having Lily. I just didn’t want him to treat me any differently because I’d only just come back off maternity leave the same week he took over the company.

“What? How have you not told him about Lily? He’s your boss,” she asks, and I hear the change of tone.

“It just hasn’t come up, okay? I don’t need everyone in the office talking about me again. After everything that happened with Paul, it would be a little cliché, don’t you think? Plus, they’d have had a field day finding out I was pregnant and the fact that the baby’s father isn’t around. I didn’t need that at the office, G.”

I don’t want to get into an argument with Gia about this.

When I approached Peter after finding out I was pregnant and told him I didn’t want anyone in the office knowing, I didn’t have to explain why. He remembered the gossip that had circled the entire building after what happened with Paul and said he would respect my wishes.

Unable to stand the silence any longer, I decide to admit, “We had sex yesterday in his office.”

I’m unsure why I felt the need to tell her; it does nothing but extend the deafening silence from before.

Gia’s defeated tone comes through. “Look, I’m sorry, Elle. I didn’t mean to sound like I was judging you or putting you down, but he needs to know about Lily. Whether it’s as your boss or your date, he needs to know.”

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