Page 79 of Exposed

Jacob giggled.

I peered out the crack in the door to see her tickling his side.

“We’ll see him tomorrow, okay?” Brooklyn said.

“I can’t go to bed without saying goodnight to Daddy.”

“I know, me either.” Brooklyn kissed the top of his head. “Let’s wait a few more minutes to see if the clouds part.”

They both just stood there on the patio, looking at the sky, like they’d rather be anywhere in the world but here.

I felt like I couldn’t breathe as I watched the two of them staring at the sky. I was so consumed by what I wanted. What I needed. But Brooklyn and Jacob didn’t want the same things. They didn’t need me as much as I needed them. They’d always wish I was someone else.

“Wait, look!” Brooklyn said. She was pointing up. “The brightest star, remember?”

“Daddy!”

I felt tears welling in my eyes.

“I miss you,” Jacob said to the star.

Fuck.I took a step back, wiping the tears from my eyes. I took another step back. I’d never loved anyone the way I loved Brooklyn. But she’d loved someone else the way she’d loved me. Maybe she’d loved Miller more. And it didn’t matter that I wanted to adopt Jacob. I wasn’t his dad.

I felt like an intruder standing here in this hall. I wasn’t supposed to be seeing this. I wasn’t supposed to be interfering. I wasn’t even sure they wanted me here.

But I couldn’t make myself leave. Because I loved Brooklyn. I loved her so much that it physically hurt to see her hurting. Wasn’t there a way to show Brooklyn that? Show her that my love was going to be enough to get us through this?

I took another deep breath. Panic had wrapped around my chest. I felt like I was losing her. And I couldn’t lose her again. Over the past 16 years, whenever I felt shaken like this, I’d usually just go talk to Brooklyn. The dead her in the graveyard. Or… I stared back at the steps. I’d paint her. The version of her stuck at 16. But she wasn’t stuck at 16 now.

Brooklyn and Jacob were talking to the stars. I knew how important it was to talk to the dead. But Brooklyn wasn’t frozen in time anymore. And I was done living in the past. I knew exactly how to show Brooklyn she was my present and future.

I wandered up the stairs and into my studio. I needed a new portrait of Brooklyn. A real one of her. Not a fantasy from 16 years ago. The real thing. I grabbed a fresh canvas and my palette. I loved Brooklyn in the past. I squirted a blob of paint out. I loved her in the present. I squirted out another blot of paint and started to blend the colors together. And I was going to be the one to love her in the future.

I wasn’t fucking going anywhere. It didn’t matter if she was scared to accept my proposal. I brushed the first stroke against the canvas. It didn’t matter if she told me no a thousand times. I’d keep asking.

I would never be Brooklyn’s first husband. I’d never be Jacob’s father.

But I could be Brooklyn’s last husband. And I could help raise Jacob. I could love him like he was my own son. That had to be enough. Because I wasn’t walking away.

“Matt?”

I didn’t turn around. I kept painting. “You owe me something from 16 years ago.”

She walked in front of my easel. “And what is that?”

“When you got me all those painting supplies on Thanksgiving, you agreed to pose for me. I’m cashing in on that.”

Brooklyn smiled. “Okay, where do you want me? Here?” She took a step back and stared at me.

“Not quite.” We both knew that wasn’t what she’d agreed to. I set my brush down and walked over to her. I grabbed the bottom of her sweater and pushed it up.

She laughed.

I kept pushing it up. “Lift your arms.”

“You’re serious?”

“Of course I’m serious.”

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