“Will you…”
I shook my head. I wasn’t ready. It was too soon. I couldn’t do this to Miller. I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. I just kept shaking my head.I can’t, Matt. I can’t.I felt the tears trailing down my cheeks. And I was pretty sure I was freaking out because I wanted to say yes. I wanted to and it killed me.
Matt kept the smile on his face. But he lowered his eyebrows ever so slightly. Like he was disappointed by my reaction.
“Matt…” my voice cracked.
He cleared his throat. “Brooklyn, will you go to prom with me?”
Wait…what?“Prom?”
“It’s a promposal!” Penny said as she snapped a photo of us.
“Prom?” I said again.
Matt got up off his knee. “Don’t cry.” He wiped my tears away with his thumbs. “You said you missed out on so many things. I can give you this. We’re going to recreate prom for you. And for Penny. For her birthday party celebration this Friday. Be my date, Brooklyn.”
I nodded. I could do that. I could definitely do that. I threw my arms around him.
He laughed and caught me around the waist. He twirled me around in his arms to the song that meant the world to me. And I had the oddest sensation that everything was going to be okay. Because Matt would always be there to catch me when I fell.
Chapter 27
Tuesday
Matt
Brooklyn said yes to going to prom. But it would have been a no for a real proposal. I paced in front of the fireplace in our house. Yes,ourhouse. The one I’d renovated forus.
I knew Brooklyn was grieving. I understood what that felt like better than anyone. But when I’d lost her I’d leaned on everyone around me. Why wasn’t she leaning on me? Why wasn’t she letting me back in? Did she not understand that I was all in?
I stopped and stared at the fire. It crackled and popped and I took a deep breath. Or maybe she did understand. And she just…didn’t want the same things as I did anymore.
I tried to shake away the thought, but I couldn’t. What if she didn’t want to get married again? What if she didn’t want to have any more kids?
Reluctantly, I lifted my gaze from the fire and stared at the pictures on the mantel. I’d done my best to avoid looking at them. But it was impossible when they were right in front of me. I stared at the familiar picture of Brooklyn and her mother. The next was of Miller holding a baby Jacob in his arms. It felt like I’d stopped breathing. I stared at Brooklyn, Miller, and Jacob covered in mud. Jacob was holding a football in his hands. They all looked so happy. I stepped in front of the last picture. Miller was kissing Brooklyn in the snow. They were in pajamas. Christmas pajamas. I swallowed hard. That must have been when they made it official. A Christmas wedding.
It felt like a knife was in my chest. Not just because they got married right around the date that Brooklyn and I should have. It hurt because Brooklyn was staring up at Miller like she used to look at me 16 years ago. She was in love with Miller. Really in love. They were happy. And I didn’t know if I could make Brooklyn that happy again. I wanted to. Desperately. But what if I wasn’t enough?
A floorboard creaked on the stairs. I turned to see Jacob in Brooklyn’s arms, wide awake even though she’d been upstairs reading him a bedtime story for a while.
“He wanted to say goodnight to his dad,” she said, without really looking at me.
I didn’t know what that meant. The lack of eye contact. And the saying goodnight thing.
She carried Jacob outside. She’d left the door ajar. And I couldn’t help but follow her. I paused outside the door and listened to the two of them.
“I don’t see Daddy,” Jacob said.
“We just have to look a little harder, sweet boy.”
“But he’s not here.”
“Of course he is. Even if we can’t see him, it just means he’s behind a cloud.”
“Nooooo.”
“Yes.”