Page 22 of Like You Know

“We ... I ... I can’t ...” He seemed to be struggling as much as I was to form a complete sentence. He removed his hand from my arm as if I’d burned him and flashed me a wide-eyed look.

“Fuck,” he muttered as he scrambled to his feet. Dragging a hand down his face, he walked away from me.

I was confused, hurt, embarrassed—all the emotions. And that asshole had scampered away before the anger set in and gave me back my words.

I wanted to storm after him, give him a piece of my mind. But I stayed put. No point making my humiliation even worse by causing a scene in the middle of the night. At least this way, Jet and I would be the only ones who knew what a fool I’d made of myself.

Angry tears tracked down my face as I sat there in the sand and my own misery. There was a reason I hadn’t had a proper relationship, never made the first move. There was a reason everyone thought I was a cold, heartless bitch. Because when you cracked your chest open and let someone take a peek at your heart, they’d just reach in and crush it the first chance they got.

They’d leave the vulnerable organ bleeding silver in the moonlight and run away as if you didn’t matter.

The angry tears turned into sad, miserable, self-pity tears. Thank God this had happened in such a secluded part of the island.

I stayed in that spot until my tears dried up. I stayed there until the light of the moon gave way to the brilliant colors of the sunrise.

It all still looked gray to me though.

CHAPTEREIGHT

The weather matchedmy mood when we landed in San Francisco: rainy and miserable. I wasn’t the only subdued one as we filed off the private plane. The shitty weather and the post-vacay blues had set in for the whole group.

Maybe my bad attitude was rubbing off on them too, although I’d kept mostly to myself for the last few days of the trip. I’d let myself get drawn in by a piece-of-shit man and I’d gotten hurt. I had only myself to blame. Which was why I was reluctant to talk to anyone about it, or let my misery ruin everyone else’s good time.

My girls had noticed my shift in mood right away, but when I made it clear I didn’t want to discuss it, they’d dropped it. I knew it wasn’t over, that they were worried and would likely bring it up again after giving me some space, but I wasn’t ready to admit my humiliation just yet. It was still too raw.

The rest of our group didn’t notice anything until probably the last day. I couldn’t blame them—we were all there to have fun, and there were plenty of activities and distractions. But by the time we left, Nicola and Drew had both pulled me aside to ask if I was all right, and the others threw me looks the entire flight. They’d picked up on the tension, and it probably hadn’t escaped anyone’s notice that I refused to speak to Jet. I left every room/conversation/activity as soon as he appeared and didn’t make any excuses.

They could all speculate as much as they wanted. I didn’t give a fuck.

“Ugh! Can’t believe I have to be at work tomorrow morning.” Mena groaned. She’d gotten a great tan.

Sometimes I wished I could just give her some of my money, but I knew that would be patronizing. I really admired her. She’d been through a lot of shit.

“School on Monday,” Hendrix added to the list of things we had to look forward to. I’d never seen him so miserable. Even when he thought he’d lost Donna.

“Not for me!” Harlow was the only one with pep in her step. She was about to start her new job with some tech company, and she probably couldn’t wait to see her boyfriend—and screw his brains out.

The limo pulled up then, and the boys helped the driver with our luggage as we all piled in.

By the time we reached Devilbend, the sun had come out. Unfortunately, it did nothing to chase away the dark and stormy clouds in my own head.

The Mead sisters were the only ones left in the car when we reached my place. Everyone else had been dropped off on our way. As the driver started getting my luggage out, I found myself still sitting in the limo, staring at my front door. Despite how miserable and angry I’d been for the last few days of the trip, it still seemed preferable to going home. Would Mom even be there? Would she notice I was back? She seemed to have forgotten I’d ever left. Or existed at all.

Donna squeezed my knee, snapping me out of my staring contest with my house.

“Come over if you want,” she said, her voice sympathetic. “I’m just going to watch movies and do a face mask.”

“Thanks, D.” I mustered up a smile for her. The girls knew all about what a nightmare of a mother I had. “I’ll see what the situation is inside.”

“Love you.” Harlow pulled me into a tight hug, and Donna piled on too. I held them firmly for a long moment, then extracted myself with a sigh.

The driver carried my bags inside, I waved the girls off as he drove away, and then I was alone.

The house was empty. It had that stillness I’d become all too accustomed to. I wasn’t sure if I was relieved or disappointed. Probably a bit of both.

Putting an audiobook on, I decided to distract myself with some self-care and spent the rest of the day taking a bath, putting a hair mask in my hair, exfoliating and soaking and moisturizing. I booked a nail appointment too, as my nails were looking a bit ratty after all that frolicking in the sand.

I headed downstairs in the evening, wondering if my empty stomach had the patience to wait for takeout to be delivered.

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