Page 70 of The Innovator

I took his hand in mine, squeezing it. “Growing up, I was always scared of the dark.”

“Most kids are.”

“But they grow out of it,” I said as exhaustion weighed on me.

Every time these memories surfaced, I relived the trauma again. I should’ve been able to stop them by now, but I had a long way to go.

“I was getting better with the nightlights during bedtime. But that event cemented me to the fear. I couldn’t escape it after that day. It comes and goes.” I let out a laugh. “It’s embarrassing, Grayson. I’m a grown woman, and I’m afraid of the dark.”

He didn’t reply right away. Instead, he rubbed circles on the top of my hand while his gaze fixated on the flickering candles. I loved the contemplative look on him. What was he thinking?

“Don’t be,” he said. “I don’t think the darkness is the main reason for your trauma. Maybe it’s part of it, but I think it’s the culmination of everything you’ve experienced. A normal childhood fear together combined with the bullying and being locked in a closet, formed into a trauma. Your aunt failed you. She’s family, but she mistreated you. Your body recoils and tries to hide because it remembers the terror, even now, after so many year. The darkness just reminded you of a time when you were scared.”

I considered his comment for a moment. His explanation made sense. I’d never looked at the issue from that perspective before. But I guessed it was difficult to see clearly when it was your own problem.

“Maybe you’re right. I never told anyone about what happened. Not even my parents.”

“Why not?”

Sighing, I told him the rest of the story.

After reading Sartre’sBeing and Nothingfor a while, my eyes drift shut. But then I hear voices. Aunt Estelle is talking to someone. My skin tingles from her mean voice. I scoot closer to another wall, trying to get away, but she talks so loud. So demanding.

“Ten million dollars isn’t enough for what you want me to do. Twenty-five million.”

“Done.”

I don’t know who she’s talking to, but it’s a man’s voice. They keep talking business stuff and it’s too boring. I don’t know how long I’ve been in the closet, but I’m getting tired.

Mommy and Daddy are coming home tomorrow. I’ll be brave and wait for them. I’m going to tell them everything.

The fantasy of being elsewhere relaxes me and I drift to sleep.

The bright light startles me. “Wake up, Natalie. Your parents will be here in two hours. Let’s get you washed up.”

Aunt Estelle carries me out, checks me over, and pats my hair. “I’m so sorry I forgot you were in here. Please forgive me.” Her smile is fake, just like her daughter’s.

I step away from her. “You left me there.”

The smile fades. “You tell your parents this, and I will make sure you will never see them again. You understand me?”

The look in her eyes sends a chill down my body, and I believe her.

Grayson inhaled a slow breath as he tightened his arm around me. “No one will ever hurt you again.”

CHAPTERTHIRTY-FOUR

GRAYSON

Estelle LaRue was an evil woman. She’d threatened her eight-year-old niece, who had been locked in a dark closet. No wonder Natalie was traumatized. I remembered the day Slash had warned me and my boys. If we mentioned anything about the crime we’d witnessed to another soul, the crime organization would come after us. I had been terrified for days, but I’d been fifteen years old. Natalie had only been eight.

My fingers curled into a tight fist. Her aunt needed to be punished.

I kissed her head. “I can help you overcome your fear. Have you thought about therapy?”

Trauma often blocked a person from healing. It had done that to Audri, with her fear of fire. She had thought fire was her phobia, but it was the guilt that crippled her: she was alive while my dad and her pet had perished.

She nodded. “I tried for a few years when I got older, but it didn’t help.”

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