Page 71 of The Innovator

“Maybe they were diagnosing it incorrectly. I can help you.”

“How?”

“By experiencing the dark with you.”

Natalie had to understand that the dark wasn’t the main reason for her fear, but she had to acknowledge this on her own. I’d be there along the way to help her.

For the last few days of our vacation, Natalie and I spent time in the dark before bedtime. We turned off all the lights and lay in bed chatting. The darkness cocooned us, and there was a peacefulness to it. At first, she stiffened, but I held her against me.

“I find the darkness peaceful. It’s a retreat into yourself—a place where secrets are stored. I think most people fear the unknown, and the darkness is sort of like that because you can’t see anything. But not being able to see allows you tofeelmore, you know?”

She touched the stubble on my chin. “I didn’t know you were so wise.”

“Well, I had to upgrade my mind since I’m with a woman who reads philosophy.”

Minutes turned into hours, and she relaxed as we talked about random things. I behaved in bed, knowing that she needed my help more than my sexual desire for her. She told me about her high school days, and I told her about mine. We discussed our previous relationships, and jealousy made me grunt several times. But her kisses soothed the irritation.

“Do you have something that’s crippled your mental state?” she asked.

“Yes.” I shifted on my side to twirl a lock of her hair between my fingers, loving its softness.

“What is it?”

“My uncle, Derek.”

She was the first woman to hear about my trauma, my betrayal. How could I not share it with her, when she’d spilled her family’s dirty laundry to me? We all had shit to deal with.

I told her a brief version of my unforgettable story, and how I’d been struggling with facing Derek. She didn’t need to know all the details because there was already too much darkness around her. I had to protect her.

“It’s time you face him too. Avoidance doesn’t solve anything. It’s just a temporary bandage. Peel it off so you can move on.”

I tapped her nose, but didn’t reply. I wondered if she knew she was peeling off her bandage by immersing herself in darkness with me.

We talked until she fell asleep in my arms. That was my version of therapy for her. She experienced the darkness in a way that was nonthreatening. With my presence and our conversations, she forgot about the fear. Perhaps the repetition would become a habit, and the habit would help her realize that the dark wasn’t her enemy. It could be her salvation, like it was mine.

While she slept beside me, I flicked on the light to look at her. I couldn’t believe how things had changed between us. She was now sleeping in my bed, looking serene.

No one would hurt her again. That was my pledge to the earth and the sky. Helping Natalie had pushed me to make the first step toward my healing.

Tucking my arms behind my head, I planned on visiting Derek. It was time for me to face my wound.

CHAPTERTHIRTY-FIVE

NATALIE

It had been three weeks since our vacation in Vermont. I hadn’t mentioned my relationship with Grayson to my friends yet. They had a gazillion questions for me, but I also had questions for them. They could have easily said The Fortress belonged to Grayson, but nope, not a peep. We planned on meeting up soon, and I couldn’t wait to share my retreat experience with my girls.

Yes, they were my girls.

I had to tell them about my real identity. There was no need to hide anything any longer. After getting back, I immediately put in my resignation and was now officially unemployed. There wasn’t much I could do to retrieve information on The Prism there. I’d rather spend the time exploring other avenues. I had to get out of city employment before someone discovered who I was and got me arrested for lying. I preferred to leave quietly.

With the extra time on my hands, I’d been spending it with Grayson at his place, understanding him more. It felt normal, natural, and cozy to be with him.

Last night, I slept over at Grayson’s place because I was accompanying him to a charity event today. I walked into his dressing room as he adjusted the French cuff on his shirt. I wore his oversized T-shirt, which stopped at my thighs. If only he could see what I wore underneath his shirt. Friskiness was in the air, and I was going to do something about it.

“Why aren’t you dressed yet?” he asked, looking at me as though he could see through the T-shirt.

“We’ve got time.” Since he caused the friskiness in me, he’d have to resolve it. “Would you like me to pick out a tie for you?”

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