Page 109 of A Realm of Fire and Ash

“I am the queen of fire and ash now.” Irid stands triumphant over my mates.

Words, unbidden, flow out of me as though pulling from beneath the earth. "You speak of fire and ash as if it's a passing fancy, a fleeting flame that you can easily extinguish or control. But I was born in it, raised by it, and molded by its unyielding strength. Fire is not just a part of me; it is me.”

Irid's eyes barely have time to widen in terror before I lunge at her with a deafening screech and sink my claws deep into her chest, piercing through her flesh and winding around her heart like a vice grip, the darkness seeping into my veins like a poison.

Romarie guards rush at me, shouting, and I slash at them with my talons as I continue to tear into Irid. I rip her apart one piece at a time, my fury and thirst for revenge so deep that nothing can stop me now.

The last of the Romarie guards falls to the ground, beaten and wounded, and I drop to my knees. I scramble for Aggonid's head, slipping in the blood beneath me before I can take it in my hands.

An animalistic shriek tears from my throat, and wails rent the air as I cradle him to my chest, low keening sounds coming from me in waves of despair.

I can feel the energy inside me warping as my beast fades back into the shadows within my soul, her grief too great to be part of this reality now. Even when I hated him, she loved him.

She knew long before I did who this god is to me.

Was to me.

They say a soul bond is the greatest marker of love. It transcends all reason and logic and is born from the most beautiful and terrible parts of our hearts and souls. And I can feel that bond now, even though he is gone.

My body is wracked with sobs, and I lay beside him, my tears washing away the blood beneath us and merging with the lifeforce staining his features. My fingers brush against his cold cheeks, tracing the ridges of his still handsome face.

The faint sound of clanking metal reaches me just as Caius is freed from his binds. His arms wrap around my shoulders, and together, our giant, heaving bawls quake the air around us.

For millennia, Caius and Aggonid had been inseparable, their souls intertwined in a love that transcended time and space. But now, with Aggonid's lifeless body lying at our feet, it feels like the world has come crashing down around us.

I can feel Caius' pain like a physical weight on my chest, his sorrow so palpable that it feels like a tangible thing in the throne room we're in. As he clings desperately to me, I wrap my arms around his broad shoulders and hold him close. I don't know what to say to him; how to ease the crushing ache that threatens to consume us both.

How can I justify my pain when he's had thousands of years to love the devil?

For a moment, words fail me. Nothing will ever be the same again.

Emeric kneels beside us, his eyes red and wet, and places a palm on either of our shoulders in a silent display of comfort. Azazel drags the Romarie bodies away, his face lined with sorrow when he returns to my side.

As the sky starts to lighten, I gaze up at the stars winking out of existence one-by-one, like a shadowy curtain drawn over the throne room's majestic moon-roof. The moonlight creeps away like a thief in the night, leaving me in a darkness more profound than ever before. Though the sun shines, and the birds sing, everything feels dead inside me.

Emeric and Az redirect traffic so everyone stays away from this end of the castle. No one but those in this room know the fierce ruler of this realm is dead.

Did he know before the Wild Pursuit that I was his soul bonded mate? Is that why he pushed me away for so long?

I want to believe he did and that this was his way of protecting me from the truth—whatever his truth is. Despite the awfulness of our last moments, I can't help but feel relieved that he accepted me in the end, and that he knew I was his. Even if it was too late.

So many questions, but too few answers.

Now all I have is the brief echo of his love.

Emeric and Az don't try to move us or rush us along. They stand sentry while Caius and I drown in our grief.

I feel like a fraud; my memory of him too short and punctuated by violence to be real. But tell that to my soul, which lies in tatters at my feet, bleeding out for a god it loved with every fiber of its being, even when its host cursed his name.

The sun comes and goes, and I no longer feel the cool press of the sticky floor against my cheek, nor the ache in my bones from where I still lie next to Aggonid's body. I don't hear the words my other mate whispers in my ear, though I bear his grief inside my chest, and there's a small measure of comfort knowing I'm not as alone as I feel.

Some of the servants try to come clean his body for burial, but I lash out at them, my emotions riding the edge of feral in my grief. Though Emeric isn't my mate—we'd been interrupted before anything could consummate—my beast seems to recognize him as a safe person and allows his proximity to help comfort me.

As I lie there next to Aggonid's lifeless body, the weight of his absence crushes me. It's as if a piece of me has been ripped away, leaving me raw and bleeding. My mind races with memories of our time together, the good and the bad, the moments of love and the moments of hate. Love and hate are like two sides of the same coin, and I've been flipping it for too long without knowing which one I truly wanted.

But now, all I feel is the emptiness of his loss, and how badly I wish I could take back all the time I wasted hating him.

Caius clings to me, his own grief pouring out in heaving sobs. I don't know how long we lay there, holding onto each other for dear life. Az and Emeric's comforting presence are the only things that keeps me from completely losing myself to the darkness. All my feathers litter the ground around us, unspent as I tried to bring him back to me.

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