Page 110 of A Realm of Fire and Ash

To us.

But he’s a demon. The God of them. And in the end, not even my feathers do the gods deem worthy.

As the hours pass, I become aware of a flicker of light just outside of my periphery. It's a small flame, moving slowly closer. As it comes into focus, I realize it's Azazel holding a torch, his face etched with sorrow. He approaches us with slow, measured steps, the light casting flickering shadows across Aggonid's still form.

I watch in a daze as Azazel kneels down beside us, his expression pained. "Morte," he says softly, "we need to move him."

I resist the urge to lash out at him, to scream and rage against the injustice of it all. Instead, I simply nod, my body feeling heavy and unresponsive. Together, we lift Aggonid's body, carrying him with the utmost care. As we make our way out of the throne room, I can feel the weight of his absence pressing down on me with each step.

We carry him to the master bedroom, a place where we can mourn him in private. Emeric joins us there, his presence a comfort even without a bond to tie us together. We spend the rest of the day and night in that room, grieving for Aggonid and the love that we've lost.

But as the hours pass, something begins to change. I can feel a warmth spreading through my body, a growing sense of hope. It's a feeling I can't explain, but it's as if Aggonid is still with me, somehow.

The next morning, I awaken to an even stranger sensation. It's as if a fire burns within me, but not one of grief and despair. This flame is different, warmer, and brighter, and it fills me with a sense of purpose.

I rise from the bed, my limbs still heavy with sorrow, but my mind clear. I make my way to the window and look out at the world beyond. It's a new day, a fresh start, and for the first time since Aggonid's death, I feel as if there's something worth fighting for.

I turn back to the room and see Emeric and Azazel standing near the bed, their expressions somber as they help a near-catatonic Caius pull a shirt over his head. I approach them, feeling a new strength within me. "We need to do something," I say, my voice brittle from crying.

Emeric raises an eyebrow but doesn't protest. "What do you have in mind?" he asks.

"I want to honor Aggonid." I help Caius put some pants on, pausing to wipe tears from my cheeks. "I want to give him a proper send-off."

Azazel nods in agreement. "We can do that. Is there something in particular you want to do for him?"

I close my eyes and take a deep breath, letting the energy within me surge forward. When I open my eyes again, they're glowing with a fierce light. "We'll burn his body," I say. "In Castanea, we'd been hidden underground for millennia, so we'd burn our dead to keep the bodies from piling up."

Emeric and Azazel exchange a look, but they don't argue. Instead, they help me gather the necessary ritual materials: oil, kindling, and a wooden pyre. We carry Aggonid's body outside to a clearing, and Caius pours the oil over him, repeating the sacred words I've uttered so many times before.

But this time, it's different. This time, it's not just about the flames. It's about the ritual, the honoring of more than a fallen comrade. I light the pyre, and we step back to watch as the flames begin to rise. They lick at Aggonid's body, and I watch in silence, my eyes fixed on the pyre as the inferno grows. It's hot and bright, and it consumes him with a ferocity that makes my heart ache, though I barely feel the heat. The weight of my grief presses down on me with a force that threatens to break me.

It shouldn’t be like this.

I'd known he was my soul bonded mate for mere hours. He's the one person in the world who was supposed to love me unconditionally, and I was supposed to love him just as fiercely in return. And now he's gone, consumed by the flames that I set alight.

My mind feels numb, my body a mere shell that's being dragged along by the others as they move around me. Emeric and Azazel stand nearby, their heads bowed in respect. Caius is a few feet away, his body hunched over as he sobs uncontrollably.

I feel a surge of anger and bitterness, emotions that are directed not at them, but at Aggonid. He had to have known I was his soul bond, it's the only thing that can explain his extreme hot and cold behavior towards me. What secrets did he keep? And why did he have to die, leaving me with nothing but this unbearable pain?

But as the flames reach their peak and begin to die down, a strange sense of calm settles over me. It's a feeling I can't explain, but it's as if a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Maybe it's because I know he's at peace now, his soul finally released from the constraints of his mortal body.

I watch as the last embers flicker out, leaving nothing but ash and charred bone. The others move away, leaving Caius and me alone with the remnants of what should've been the love of my life. I kneel and sift through the ashes, searching for any sign of him.

An old habit.

But there's nothing there. Nothing but the vestiges of a life that's been snuffed out too soon.

I rise to my feet, my heart heavy with grief. This is not how it was supposed to end, but it's all I have left. The memories of a love that burned bright, quick, and fierce, but ultimately could not withstand the cruel hand of fate.

I turn away from the pyre, my eyes fixed on the horizon. The sun is setting, casting the sky in shades of red and gold. It's a beautiful sight, but I can't find it in me to appreciate it.

All I can think of is the emptiness that now fills the void where Aggonid once stood. And I wonder if I'll ever be able to fill it again.

Caius slides his hand in mine, and a thousand words die on my tongue. There is too much to say. Too much to feel.

The faintest breeze blows our way, as though the weather, too, knows we can't take anymore. With it comes the acrid scent of smoke, carrying a hint of Aggonid's vetiver and tobacco essence.

I close my eyes, and for a moment, I can almost feel his arms around me. Even the faint chuckle of his deep, mellow laughter carries on the wind. But then the moment passes, and I open my eyes, tears streaming down my cheeks as reality sets in once more.

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