Page 59 of Broken

That part of me screamed "Run! Run as fast and as far as you can!" Danielle knew I went through some shit. I ran from Aines father and my past. I just didn't bother to share details with her. Why would I? It wasn't like I went around introducing myself as 'Hi. I'm Sinclair. I was abused by my parents and now carry around a shit ton of emotional baggage'

Kai asked me to go to therapy, and I did agree. I just didn't really see how it would help. I did just fine for the past twelve years. I avoided any reminders of my past, and I raised my daughter by myself. Sure, I had the occasional panic attack, but those were typically triggered by memories of my childhood.

Yesterday was not a walk in the park, and watching my daughter and Kai together proved to be a challenge for my mental stability. I wondered how long he planned to stay. He did have to go home at some point. Right?

thirty-two

Kai

Icouldn'tbelievemyweek had gone by so quickly. After the day I spent at the apartment with Aine and Sinclair, I spent every day with my daughter. The kid was incredible, smart, and talented. She loved emo and rock music. I wasn't surprised considering her mother's crazy best friend Danielle was a huge influence in Aines life.

Tonight, Sin agreed to let me take Aine to the movies, just the two of us. We grabbed some pizza first because I quickly learned, eleven year-old girls could live off of pizza. And then we saw a movie. An old black and white film that played at the Mary Pickford Theater. Aine also loved old movies, which I found interesting.

"Bye, dad." Aine hugged me tight and ran inside the apartment she shared with her mom.

I watched Sin's expression; I could tell tonight was rough for her. She handled everything better than I expected her to, but it was obvious she struggled tonight.

"Sin, what's wrong?" I reached out to touch her, but she jerked away. What the hell?

"Kai. Don't." She started to back away and close her door. I never pushed myself on a woman, and I never ignored a 'No' but this was different. Sin might not have picked up her life and ran away last week, but now, she was running emotionally.

I spent so much time working on getting to know Aine, I didn't spend any time this week fixing the broken foundation of whatever relationship I had with Sin.

I stopped her from shutting the door in my face. "Don't shut me out Sin. Please don't run from me again."

"Kai. You're leaving in the morning." She practically whispered. I looked past her, Aine was in her own room, with her door closed, most likely talking to her friend Riley.

"Then spend the night with me Sin. Even if it's here, let's sit up and talk, watch movies and fall asleep on the couch."

"Kai." Her broken voice and near sob made me want to hurt whoever made her cry. But I hurt her, my presence made her cry.

"You're right. I'm sorry Sinclair." I leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "I love you, no matter what Sin. I'll see you next month."

I turned and walked to my car. I couldn't look back, because if I did, and she was gone, it would kill me.

thirty-three

Sinclair

IwatchedasKaiwalked away. I wished he would look back at me. If he turned back, I'd run to him. I needed him as much as I needed Aine. When Kai disappeared from my sight, without having turned back to me, I felt like my world fell apart all over again.

I closed my door and ran to my own room in tears. I didn't want Aine to see me like this. I didn't want her to be angry with her father for making me cry. But was it really him who made me cry or did I make myself cry?

I called Mia, I needed to talk to someone who knew us both. She didn't pick up. My head was spinning, I couldn't catch my breath. I started to count on my fingers. One, two, three, four, five. What if Kai went back to Lakewood, that redhead? Six, seven, eight. Oh yeah. He said she was Callum's girlfriend or something like that. But what if he found someone else? Someone who wasn't broken like me.

"Mom." Aines voice broke through the noise in my head.

"Ladybug. What's the matter?" I looked up at her from my spot on my bedroom floor.

"You're crying, mom. You're sad, aren't you?" Aine came over to me and wrapped her small, but strong arms around my shoulders. "I don't want dad to go either."

How did she know? Was it obvious I cried over her father? "Baby girl, he will be back. I'm sure he will eventually ask if you can go up to

Lakewood with him."

"He loves you, mom. He told me he was sad to leave us both." How was my eleven-year-old daughter so mature and wise? "You love him too."

"What makes you think I love him?" I had to ask; I didn't think I was that transparent.

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