Page 31 of Broken

I was short compared to the Carter boys who all stood over six feet tall. At that moment I felt smaller than ever. It pissed me off.

"Kai. Fucking go. You should be in California, in San Diego. Not here." I shoved his arm as I walked past him to the driver's side of my car.

"Did you think I'd be okay with this bullshit?" I didn't notice the small lavender envelope between his fingers until he flung the paper at my windshield. Well, shit. I was so stupid to think I deserved a clean break.

"Kai. I just"

"No. Sin, you need to explain to me what happened between us. Because as far as I'm concerned, we are together. What we have, what we've had for the past three months, what was that to you?" The pain in his voice made my stomach turn, and I was to blame.

"Kai, I'm broken. I always have been. All I would do is make life shitty for you, Mia, your parents, and your brothers. Look what I did to my parents. It's because of me!" Silent tears rolled down my cheeks. A couple of students walked by, they turned to stare at us, but I didn't care anymore.

"Do you want that, Kai? Do you want me around knowing everything I touch turns to shit?"

"So, what are you going to do Sinclair? What's your plan from here? Just cut the people who love you out of your life. Because you ruin everything?" The air quotes and mocking tone hurt more than they should have because they came from his lips

"Because, Sin, I call bullshit. I don't think you ruin things. Layla and Howard Grant are the ones who ruin things. They destroy everything they touch. I fucking love you Sin."

His words stung. They cut at every defense I've built so far because a small part of me believed him. I could tell him about the baby, what happened with Adam.

I should tell him about Noah and what actually happened with my father. There were so many skeletons I hid, and I could bring them all out into the

open and show him how fucked up I truly was. But I didn't. Once I opened that door, I couldn't close it. If my secrets got out, they'd hurt this baby. My small piece of light and hope in the world.

I had to keep the baby safe from my past, from my demons. That's all that mattered. Not Kai, not the fact that my heart broke into a million pieces, because I loved Kai Carter, with every fiber of my being.

So, I did the only thing I was good at, I burned everything down.

"I don't love you, Kai. I never did." I sobbed. Please God, let him believe me, don't let him see through my lies. "It was always Noah. Our years of friendship and the last couple of months were because you were the closest, I ever got to Noah."

"You're fucking lying Sin." Kai pulled me close to him. The warmth of his body and the scent of his skin made me whimper. I wanted to curl into him, into his arms. But I couldn't. I had to cut the cord here and now.

"The night Adam died; I slept with Noah." My voice came out barely above a whisper. I didn't lie. I didn't tell the truth either. If he knew exactly what happened that night, I feared he would never let me go.

"Fuck you, Sinclair. I hope life gives you everything you want."

I woke up in a cold sweat to my phone buzzing loudly against the wooden nightstand in the hotel. What time was it?

"Mooooommmmm" Aines voice came through the speaker the second I hit the green answer button. Fuck! I slept in and forgot to call her this morning.

"Ladybug? Is everything okay?" I can't believe I didn't call her this morning. I should've been here sleeping instead of with Kai last night.

"Everything is fine! It's great. I miss you, but Dani and I are having so much fun. I just wanted to say good morning, and I love you. I'm

going with Riley roller skating today."

Well, at least my absence wasn't affecting her too much. "That's wonderful honey. Have fun and be safe, remember the rules. Don't talk to strangers."

"No matter what." We said in unison. Damn, this kid was something else. "I love you, mom. I'll see you in a couple of days, bye."

Before she could hang up, I asked to talk to Danielle. I gave her a rundown of my plans for the day, and that I would try to settle everything early. I needed to go home and back to a normal life.

She told me I needed to get laid. I rolled my eyes and laughed. I told her I would work on that, and we hung up.

I showered and got ready to meet with the funeral director. I finished putting on my makeup. My phone buzzed with a text from Mia.

She had an issue at the shop and Tess would pick me up.

I insisted I was fine doing this on my own and got nothing but a short "Fuck Off" in reply. How did I live the past twelve years without Mia and Tess? I fucking missed them, and I didn't even realize how much until I got here.

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