Page 2 of Told You So
“You think he might be at the park?”
I stare out at the passing shadows, searching for any sign of my brother, trudging along or sitting on the curb, or even fallen down in the snow. “Jesse liked organizing Mac’s shop the other day when we were in there dropping off the Range Rover,” I say, more frantic as it hits me that, if he’s not here, he might actually be lost or in danger. “For a few days after, every time we got in the car, he asked if we were going to see Mac. He’s got it in his head that he likes the shop or her. Maybe he’ll show up there. Or—he likes to read all the info boards at the park...It’s all I can think of.” I breathe out my last bit of hope.
Nick’s hands tighten audibly around the leather-bound steering wheel before he lets out a despondent sigh. “If he’s not here, Bethany, we’re calling the police. We can’t search the whole town in the dark by ourselves. Especially if he’s cold and scared.”
I nod because Nick’s right, even if it’s the last thing I want to do. Glancing at the clock approaching midnight, I wipe the silent tears from my cheeks. “I know.”
I scour the shadows of Cal’s Auto, where I half expect Jesse to be standing, staring in the window at the Christmas tree’s blinking lights he seemed so taken with the other day. But he’s not there.
I grip my cell phone in my hand, prepared to make the call, when Nick brings the Explorer to a stop.
“Is that him?” He leans closer to the window.
Heart racing with hopefulness, I peer through the windshield into the park. Moonlight illuminates the seesaw and roundabout settled in the snow. Everything is a glistening blue against utter darkness, and at first nothing appears out of place.
Then, I see a shadowed outline on one of the swings.
Throwing my seatbelt off, I fling open the door. “Jesse!” I shout out his name, praying it’s him as I climb out of the car and hurry over as quickly as I can, even if my high heels make it seemingly impossible over the frozen pavement and snow. Frigid air bites at my legs and face, and snow crumbles into my shoes, but I welcome it as my brother’s outline becomes clearer. “Jesse!”
He’s staring down at his feet when I reach him, wrapped in a down jacket and in his beanie and boots. “Oh my God, what the hell were you thinking!” I want to smack the crap out of him, but I pull him into my arms instead.“Running off like that—I’ve been so worried! Mom and Dad had no idea where you were.”
“I wanted ice cream,” Jesse mutters against my chest. His breath is warm on my neck, and I grip him tighter. “I went to the ice cream store but they were closed.”
I nearly laugh with hysteria. “That’s because it’s midnight, J. I know you wanted to get out of the house, but you could’ve called me,” I tell him, breathing in the scent of his hair—his clothes—anything to reassure my senses that he’s here and real and that he’s okay. I catch my breath and temper the tears in my eyes. “Don’t ever do that again. Like,ever. Okay? You’re going to give me a heart attack and then who will you design your theme park with?”
He tries to pull away from me, but I grip him tighter. “Hey,” I bite out. “I know you’re not a hugger, but you don’t get to pull away from me, not after what you just put me through. Consider it punishment.”
When I finally let go long enough to look at him, a small smile pulls at the corner of his mouth. “I just wanted ice cream,” he repeats.
“I know, J.” I allow myself a heavy sigh in relief, then shiver. “Come on.” I turn toward the car. “Nick’s waiting.”
Jesse’s eyes shift toward the Explorer, or maybe at Nick standing beside it. “Was he with you?” he asks as I lead him along.
“No, I ran into him when I was going to look for you. Nick’s the one that spotted you out here all alone. I was about to call the police.”
Jesse crunches through the snow behind me as I slog my way back to the Explorer, utterly shaking with relief and cold.
“Hey, kid,” Nick says as we reach the car. “I’m glad you’re not frozen to the swing.” He opens the back-passenger door in offering.
Jesse barely tilts his head, but I can tell he’s concentrating on Nick the best he can as he starts to climb in. I take my brother’s hand. “J,” I say briskly. I try to keep my composure, but the adrenaline and panic all come crashing back down over me. “Wait for a sec.”
He looks around at the dark night and up at the street lamps and the flurries floating in the air—anywhere but at me.
“Jesse,” I say calmly—earnestly, “you canneverdo that again. I need you to promise me.” The sudden pitch in my voice is like a crack in a glass mirror, and I hate the way it fractures, but I can’t help it. I squeeze his hand, knowing a squeeze back means he understands. I know he can sense my distress, he can even feel it, and after a brief moment, he finally squeezes my hand back.
“Thank you—I love you.” I kiss his forehead and nod for him to climb into the car.
“The heat’s on,” Nick tells him, and Jesse situates himself inside without another word.
Closing the door, I turn to Nick, tears of gratitude filling my eyes. “Thank you,” I say, and white puffs of breath surround us.
Nick looks at me, concerned...and curious. “Yeah, of course. I’m just glad you found him.”
With the panic in the air dissipating, the charged current of attraction I’ve always had for him enlivens the space between us again. He can feel it. It’s in the tension of his shoulders.Ican feel it, humming through my body with anticipation and unease. I can’t seem to look away from him, and thankfully, it’s too dark for him to notice my reddening cheeks under his gaze.
Sometimes he’s the boy who sat with me all those years ago as I cried, thinking my entire world was coming to an end. Sometimes he’s the jock who broke my heart, even if he doesn’t realize it. So much passes between us in a single exhale, a lifetime of unspoken questions and drowning attraction. It’s an inescapable pull and the promise of ecstasy, as well as heartbreak.
“You’re cold,” Nick says, and he clears his throat. “Let’s get you in the car.” His voice is low and his actions swift as he opens the passenger door for me.
