Page 133 of Wild

My heart begins to race, panic freezing my limbs.

“Nothing? You’re everything. How can you not see that?”

“Mia,” he pleads, his tone begging. “Let me go.”

My lip begins to tremble, and I can’t catch my breath.“No.”

“We’re leaving. Going back home.”

“No,you’renot,” I spit out between my teeth. “You are not running away from this like some coward.”

“I’m not a coward!” He roars finally looking at me fully, letting me see the emotion in his eyes, the hurt, the pain, the fear, thelove. “This is the hardest fucking thing I’ve ever had to do. The selfish thing to do is stay and for once I’m choosing the selfless road.”

“You’rewrong,” I bite out. “This … thisisselfish. How can you abandon me now?”

“You’ll forgive your dad,” he says coolly. “You’ll move on. You’ll forget me. I’ll become a story you tell one day, of the few months you spent with the lead singer of The Wild”

“Stop it,” I beg, tugging on his jacket, almost shaking him. “That’s not what’s going to happen and you know it.”

He looks away. “I’ll forget you.”

“Hollis,” my voice breaks. “Don’t lie to me.”

He slowly brings his eyes back to mine, once more he’s closed them off to me. His gaze is cold, hard, unyielding. “There were plenty before you and there will be many more after you.”

“Stop lying,” I beg, grabbing at his shirt. My hold on the fabric is strong. I won’t let him be ripped away. Not when this was my fault. I know that. I know I should have told my dad. Sucked it up and stopped being so immature. But I was scared. I’ve never gone against anything my parents have said before. “Stop,please. Don’t dothis.”

He closes his eyes and when he opens them, he says, “Don’t be pathetic, Mia.”

Don’t be pathetic.

Those three words hit me like shrapnel, cutting into my skin and then burrowing into the most insecure crevices of my mind.

“You’re trying to make me hate you, but it won’t work,” I tell him, shoving a finger into his chest. “You think you’re leaving out of some sense of … duty or justice or somethingstupid, but you’re wrong. You’re leaving because you’re scared, because you don’t want to fight this battle together. Don’t you think I’m scared too?” I plead with him with my eyes, trying to get him to understand, to see sense. “You think by leaving I’m going to somehow magically forgive my father? That’s not how forgivenessworksHollis. Forgiveness has to beearned. And you know what? I chose you. I choose you—every day.”

His teeth clamp down. “Well, I don’t choose you.”

I gasp, a broken sob leaving me. He pulls from my hold on his jacket. I forgot I’d even grabbed it again after I poked him.

“Please don’t go,” I plead. “I need you.”

He doesn’t say anything.

He leaves and I listen to the sound of his boots hitting each and every stair. The door below opens and closes, just like the door to my heart.

CHAPTER32

HOLLIS

Ihate myself.

Ihatemyself.

I fucking hate myself.

Lying to Mia, telling her I don’t choose her when everything I’ve done is for her … I don’t think I can ever forgive myself.

I shove the last of my clothes into my bag and zip it up.

---