Page 75 of The Silent Patient

I understand now. The man—the man who’s watching—it isn’t Jean-Felix. Jean-Felix isn’t dark or devious enough to do this kind of thing. Who else would want to torment me, scare me, punish me?

Max.

Of course it’s Max. It has to be Max. He’s trying to drive me crazy.

I’m dreading it, but I must work up the courage somehow. I’m going to do it tonight.

I’m going to confront him.

AUGUST24

It felt strange and a little frightening to go out last night, after so long inside the house.

The outside world felt huge—an empty space around me, the big sky above. I felt very small and held on to Gabriel’s arm for support.

Even though we went to our old favorite, Augusto’s, I didn’t feel safe. It didn’t feel comforting or familiar like it used to. The restaurant seemed different somehow. And it smelled different—it smelled of something burning. I asked Gabriel if something was on fire in the kitchen, but he said he couldn’t smell anything, that I was imagining it.

“Everything’s fine,” he said. “Just calm down.”

“I am calm. Don’t I seem calm?”

Gabriel didn’t respond. He just clenched his jaw, the way he does when he’s annoyed. We sat down and waited for Max in silence.

Max brought his receptionist to dinner. Tanya, she’s called. Apparently they’ve started dating. Max was acting like he was smitten with her, his hands all over her, touching her, kissing her—and all the time he kept staring at me. Did he think he was going to make me jealous? He’s horrible. He makes me sick.

Tanya noticed something was up—she caught Max staring at me a couple of times. I should warn her about him really. Tell her what she’s getting into. Maybe I will, but not right now. I’ve got other priorities at the moment.

Max said he was going to the bathroom. I waited a moment and I then seized my chance. I said I needed the bathroom too. I left the table and followed him.

I caught up with Max around the corner and grabbed hold of his arm. I gripped it hard.

“Stop it,” I said. “Stop it!”

Max looked bemused. “Stop what?”

“You’re spying on me, Max. You’re watching me. I know you are.”

“What? I have no idea what you are talking about, Alicia.”

“Don’t lie to me.” I was finding it hard to control my voice. I wanted to scream. “I’ve seen you, okay? I took a photo. I took a picture of you!”

Max laughed. “What are you talking about? Let go of me, you crazy bitch.”

I slapped his face. Hard.

And then I turned and saw Tanya standing there. She looked like she was the one who’d been slapped.

Tanya looked from Max to me but didn’t say anything. She walked out of the restaurant.

Max glared at me, and before he followed her, he hissed, “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m not fucking watching you. Now, get out of my way.”

The way he said it, with such anger, such contempt, I could tell Max was speaking the truth. I believed him. I didn’t want to believe him—but I did.

But if it’s not Max… who is it?

AUGUST25

I just heard something. A noise outside. I checked the window. And I saw someone, moving in the shadows—

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