I only wanted to be alone.
It had been too early for bed, but as soon as I walked in the door, that was what I did. I had put on some comedy show, hoping it would help me feel better. Not only about my mom, but also about what I’d found out about Cade and Em.
In the cold light of day, it didn’t seem as big of a deal as it had last night. I was still bothered, but not as much.
I was more worried about why I was so bothered.
Was I developing feelings for Cade? I didn’t think so. So, maybe it was because I felt like I was his second choice. I hardly felt like anyone’s choice, and when I was, I was third, fourth, or fifth. I just wanted to be someone’s first choice for once.
Okay, that wasn’t fair to every guy I’d ever dated because they had chosen me. But breaking up meant that, in the end, I hadn’t been the right choice.
I groaned.
I needed to stop feeling sorry for myself and focus on the reality instead of ruminating on the past.
There were guys who found me attractive, and I had a killer teacher in bed. Once this month was up, I was going to put myself out there. I was going to find someone, and I was going to keep him.
Unless I didn’t want him anymore.
I laughed.
That’s right, Rayne. You’re going to break up withhimnext time.
An arm snaked around my waist. “What’s so funny, babe?”
I jumped out of bed, my heart hammering in my chest.
“Cade, what are you doing here?”
He had been behind me, and I hadn’t noticed he was there.
He opened one eye and squinted. “What do you mean? You didn’t come to my house last night, so I came here.”
“But…we didn’t have sex.” I still had my pajamas on, and I was dry between my legs.
“You were passed out when I got here, so I shut off the TV. I didn’t want to wake you, so I came to bed later.” He grinned. “Not going to lie though. Once I slipped into bed next to you, I was hoping you would wake up, so we could continue from where we’d left off at your work. But I knew, after dinner, you probably wouldn’t be up for it anyway.”
I stepped closer and sat on the bed, shaking my head in amazement.
He had come over despite knowing I might not be in the mood. And when he had gotten here and found me asleep, he hadn’t left.
My heart started picking up speed for a different reason.
I frowned at my thoughts.
What had I just told myself about not having feelings?
Still, it felt good to know he’d wanted to be with me.
Cade opened his other eye and squinted harder. “I can’t tell if you’re upset or happy.”
I laughed. He had probably seen a whole range of emotions cross my face.
“I’m…okay,” I told him.
He grabbed my hand. “I’m sorry about your mom.” He winced. “And I’m sorry I lied about just getting invited.”
I gasped. “You lied about that? I thought only Beau and Em had been invited beforehand.”