Page 41 of Written in the Charts

CHAPTERTWENTY-EIGHT

Gypsy

My phone buzzed, waking me. I had laid it on the pillow next to me when I crawled into bed. I hadn’t even bothered getting dressed. I stood by the front door hoping Evan would come back, but he hadn’t. So I forced myself to shower—phone on the bathroom counter in case he called—and then struggled into bed shivering with wet hair. I cried myself to sleep.

But now my phone was buzzing.

I sat straight up, seeing Evan’s name on the caller ID. I swiped right to answer but just missed him. My heart wrenched. He had tried to call. I opened the contacts and found his name and called him back, but it rang through. Likely, he was leaving me a voicemail, so I waited a few seconds and tried again, but this time it went straight to his voicemail.

I panicked. He had tried calling and I missed him, but now he wasn’t picking up. I tried again and again, and each time the call went directly to voicemail. He’d shut his phone off. Distraught, I held my phone in my hand, staring at it, and it chimed with an incoming voicemail. I knew he was hurt when he left, and I didn’t know what the voicemail contained, but I prayed it was some sort of frustrated rant with an “I’ll call you tomorrow” at the end.

Hesitantly, I pressed the play button for the voicemail and held it to my ear. Evan’s voice rang out loud and clear. He was shouting.

“I am so angry right now I don’t even know what to say. I can’t believe you lied to me again. You knew how upset I was about Misty, about what happened, and yet you kept this from me. That really says a lot about who you are as a person, Gypsy. I can’t be in a relationship with someone who keeps secrets and lies. It all makes sense now, not drinking at our Christmas dinner, hiding away and not telling me a thing. I’m really hurt.

“It’s over. I’m done. I can’t do this. I should have known better than to get involved with you. Don’t bother calling me because I don’t want to talk to you about this. And don’t send Derek, either. he’s just as much to blame as you are. He knew and he didn’t tell me. Why didn’t either of you fucking tell me!” he bellowed. “I can’t ever trust you again.”

The voicemail clicked off, and I sat weeping and listening to it over and over. I hadn’t intended for this to happen. I’d listened to Maggie’s advice about waiting until I was ready, which had clearly been the wrong choice. That was where I’d made my mistake. She hadn’t told Derek, and it had worked out for her, but Evan and Derek were different people. I’d fucked up really badly.

I had to make it right.

Frantically, I got out of bed, dressing in as warm of clothing as I could. I shoved my phone into the pocket of my jeans, pulling a hoodie on over my long-sleeve T-shirt. My fuzzy boots in place, I crammed my arms into my coat sleeves and grabbed my keys, heading out. If he wouldn’t take my call, I’d just go straight to his apartment and see him. I didn’t know where it was, just that it was on base.

The base wasn’t a far drive, about twenty minutes, which gave me plenty of time to decide what I wanted to say to him when I got there. I knew there would be security at the gate. I’d passed by it many times. So when I rolled up to the gate house and put my window down, I wasn’t surprised to see a stern-looking woman in fatigues come out of the gatehouse.

“Can I help you?” She leaned down to look in my window and scanned the interior of my car, one hand on her hip.

“Um, I hope so. My name is Gypsy Gardner. I need to see Master Sergeant Evan Miller.” I offered a half-grimace, half-smile. I’d never visited him on base, so I wasn’t sure if there were visiting hours or if I had to have a pass to see him. It was just after ten p.m., and it looked like most of the buildings on the base were dark. The thought occurred to me that they had a lights-out period too, but I needed to see him.

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but we weren’t given notice that Sergeant Miller would have company. We don’t have a pass for you to enter.”

“Please,” I begged, tears forming. It had been a rough night and I just wanted some mercy. I stared at that brunette, imploring her to feel my pain. “It’s really important. I’m pregnant with his baby, and I need to talk to him.”Why had I put that last bit?I didn’t know.

She sighed, looking at me with a brow furrowed in frustration. “One second.”

I sat there with my car idling as she returned to the guard shack. I watched her talk to the man in the shack with her. He looked less welcoming than she had, and I was grateful he had not been the one to come to the car. I waited long enough that I decided to put my car in park. The woman picked up a phone and held it to her ear, turning her back to the window. I could tell she was on the phone, but not what she was saying.

When she returned, she had the same calm but stern expression on her face. “Ma’am, we’ve called Sergeant Miller. He does not wish to have visitors tonight.”

“What did he say? Did you tell him it was me? What were his exact words?” The tears spilled over. I couldn’t stop them.

“I think maybe you should just go. He doesn’t want company.” The woman’s tone changed, and she leaned down closer after glancing over her shoulder.

“Please, if you have any heart in you at all, tell me what he said. What exactly did he say to you?” I could feel my jaw trembling as I spoke to her. I didn’t really know if I wanted to hear what he said to her about me, but if I didn’t hear it, I might not be able to sleep tonight. I gripped the door at the open window, bracing myself.

“His exact words were, ‘Tell her I never want to talk to her again, to get the fuck off the base’, ma’am.” The soldier placed her hand over mine, offering a gesture of comfort. “I’m sorry. I have to ask you to leave. Are you going to be okay?”

It was kind of her to ask me, but I really was not going to be okay. I shook my head, tears flowing freely now. “Thank you,” I choked out, turning to the front. She stepped away from the car, and I swiped at my eyes before shifting to drive. There was a small turnaround area, so I pulled through, making my way back to the road. He had denied me access?

I sobbed harder and harder as I drove. So hard, in fact, that I had to pull off the side of the road at a gas station to get some emotion out before I drove the rest of the way. I was devastated. This was all my fault. I knew how sensitive he was, how much it hurt him that I’d kept Chloe a secret, and I still hadn’t told him. Never mind the secret he’d been keeping from me about the promotion. This was way worse.

When I finally made it home, I ditched my coat and boots by the front door and climbed into bed fully clothed. It felt like my world was ending. Evan was the father of my unborn baby, and I couldn’t do this alone. I didn’t want to do this alone. I was hurt, anxious, and terrified. Why hadn’t I just told him the very instant I found out? If something horrible happened now, I’d be going through it totally alone.

At the time, I thought that would be better, to protect him from the pain I’d endured, but now I realized I needed him. I couldn’t do it alone. I didn’t want to. I wanted him.

I sobbed into my pillow until it was soaked with snot and tears, and then I turned it over and soiled the other side. I didn’t even remember falling asleep, but I did—to a fitful night of bad dreams and nightmares.

CHAPTERTWENTY-NINE

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