Page 10 of Beautifully Damaged

That first part was absolutely true. Joey’s body burned with need as he held Ben’s stare. “I’ve died a little every day I’ve woken up without you, but no. Hope shriveled and died inside me a long time ago. Desperation is the only thing driving me anymore.”

“Let me see if I can rekindle a few more things,” Ben said as he lowered his mouth to Joey’s. Their lips clung. Everything about their kiss was sweet. Ben’s hand found Joey’s knee. He gently drew it higher. Then his palm slid up Joey’s inner thigh, heading exactly where Joey wanted him. Ben massaged Joey’s balls and cock. Joey’s hips lifted, trying to get closer. Ben’s crown probed at Joey’s asshole. Joey held his breath. Ben teased him, pushing inside slightly before pulling away again. A whimper rose in Joey’s throat. He wanted to beg. Pre-cum leaked onto his stomach. Joey thought his mind might snap.

“Tell me you want me,” Ben whispered against his lips.

“I fucking ache for you.”

Ben lunged forward, stealing Joey’s breath as he impaled Joey with his dick. He kissed Joey, giving Joey time to adjust. Joey’s body slowly relaxed. He was as close as he could get to Ben in that moment, but it still wasn’t close enough. Joey’s heart yearned for more. Ben’s hips rolled. He set a slow pace. There could be no doubt he made love to Joey. Joey’s eyes burned with unshed tears. This wasn’t fucking for the sake of pleasure. Joey felt that in his gut. Ben meant something by this, and Joey realized Ben was right. He was rekindling something inside Joey he thought he had lost. The way Ben lingered over their kiss and methodically pumped inside Joey gave Joey hope. Ben could have simply taken his pleasure. He didn’t. This was still love. Joey felt that in his soul.

Ben pulled away enough to hold Joey’s stare. “Play with yourself.”

At Ben’s demand, Joey reached between them and stroked his cock. Everything felt too good. His eyes wanted to close. He forced his gaze to stay locked on Ben. Joey needed their connection.

“I want to watch you come. I want to feel your asshole sucking me dry as you blow.”

Joey’s mind was a mess. His body was on fire. The way Ben’s cock hit at the perfect angle, massaging him internally while Joey tugged at his dick, had Joey already on edge. Pressure climbed his shaft. His balls drew up tight. His muscles tensed.

Ben’s eyes fell closed for a second. When they reopened, pure lust stared down at Joey. “That’s it, beautiful. You’re almost there. Come for me.”

Joey stroked faster. He held his breath as the coil inside him wound tighter. Then the breath left his lungs. A cry tore from his lips. Pleasure shook his body as cum jetted from his cock. Whimpers escaped him as he kept pumping, needing every second of ecstasy he could get.

Ben thrust harder. The muscles in his neck strained as he rode Joey’s ass. His mouth came down hard on Joey’s. He bit Joey’s lip. His muscles jerked as his cries vibrated around Joey’s tongue. Joey swallowed, taking the sound inside him. He swore he felt more powerful in that moment than he had in years, because it was Ben. As Ben melted against him, tears leaked from the corners of Joey’s eyes and rolled back into his hair. Ben had done it. He had given Joey a reason to hope again, and it hurt worse than he ever imagined, because he loved Ben more than his own life. That meant Joey wouldn’t make it without him.

They heldeach other until nature and hunger won. After grabbing a quick snack, Ben hit the shower while trying to hold all the thoughts at bay. He knew they had a lot to talk about. Ben just didn’t know where to start. When he emerged from the bathroom, Joey was gone. Panic hit Ben so hard and fast, his heart stopped. Then laughter from outside the RV penetrated the walls. Ben rushed to the door and looked out.

A family of four surrounded Joey. He was animated like he was on stage. Ben watched Joey’s every move with a smile lingering on his lips. Joey posed for several pictures with the teens and their parents. He laughed and chatted as he signed autographs. Everyone smiled and stared at Joey with awe. Joey was special. He had a spark that couldn’t be missed. Joey had been born to be a star. Ben was proud as hell of him.

He could still remember the first time Joey spoke to him. Ben had been quietly watching Joey do his sound check. He had been completely mesmerized. Ben had known he was in the presence of greatness. No doubt, he looked exactly like the small family did now.

“Stop staring. I keep expecting you to drop to your knees and beg me to walk on you.”

Ben blushed as the words came through the microphone and filled the stadium. Embarrassment took hold of his tongue and ran, the way it always did when Ben was nervous. “I’ll drop to my knees if you’d like, but you’d be the one begging.” Horror overcame Ben when he realized what he had said.

Joey wrapped his hands around the microphone and leaned his way. His eyes flashed with mischief, easing Ben’s worries, and blanking his mind. “Don’t flatter yourself. Cookies crumble when they’re soaked in cum.”

An unexpected bark of laughter burst from Ben. “You’re a monster. What kind of pervert jerks off on cookies?”

Joey’s expression unexpectedly turned heated. “That’s my favorite snack.”

Ben’s heart skipped a beat at the memory. He had been infatuated ever since. Without thinking, he opened the door, and Joey’s face turned his way. A bright smile lit him from the inside out. Ben had to take a breath. No one else had ever looked at Ben the way Joey always did. Ben didn’t make people happy with only his presence. Joey was the only one who brightened at the sight of him. It was addictive. Ben wanted to bask in Joey’s attention forever.

Joey motioned Ben’s way and said something to the family Ben couldn’t hear. With a wave, they moved toward a nearby camper, leaving Joey alone with Ben. Ben’s feet carried him in Joey’s direction. His body still hummed from their lovemaking. He wanted to claim Joey’s lips, but he couldn’t, and that stole the wind from his sails. Ben was still the secret. Joey was still the star. They would never be a couple. He had done this to himself.

Joey’s brow furrowed. “What’s wrong?”

Ben shook his head. He couldn’t let his heart get in the way. Joey still needed him. Ben would mourn later. “Do you feel up to heading to the falls?”

Joey nodded, and they fell into step beside each other. Their elbows brushed. Ben fought the urge to take Joey’s hand. His chest hurt. When they reached the water’s edge, Joey leapt onto a boulder. He turned Ben’s way, smiling. “I kissed you the first time right here. You looked shocked as fuck.”

A smile snapped to Ben’s lips. The clouds cleared from his head. “I was,” Ben said with a laugh. “I had the biggest crush on you, but I never dreamed you’d want me.”

Joey snorted. “All I did was stare at you. It seemed like you were always around, tempting me. I fell for you so hard and fast. No one had ever made me feel so alive.”

Ben wanted that. He needed to know Joey was alive somewhere in the world, even though they wouldn’t be together. “I want you to go to therapy.” The words were out there before Ben could stop them. He knew Gordon said Joey had been getting help, but Ben needed him to try harder.

For a moment, Joey seemed to ignore him. He leapt from one rock to another and stared at the water. “It’s beautiful here. I think about this place and the time we spent here together all the time.” Joey’s shoulders expanded as he took a deep breath. “I’ve been in counseling for a while. It hasn’t helped. There’s only so much medication and talking about shit I can do.” He turned Ben’s way. His eyes looked sad. “When I almost died, and they were pumping someone else’s blood in me, I realized something. My problems aren’t mental. They’re physical. I need to physically move from a place in my life that’s suffocating me. I don’t know how yet or what that entails, but I know the problem now. That’s half the battle. I don’t want to die. I just need to be someplace else in life. Does that make sense?”

Ben nodded. It made perfect sense. Joey had been forced to hide his true self for his entire life. It had been only a matter of time before that nearly killed him. Hell, they had been outside ten minutes and it was killing Ben that he couldn’t touch Joey. He couldn’t imagine living his entire life suppressed. Until Joey figured out his life, there was nothing more Ben could do. He still loved Joey, though. It seemed there was no stopping that.

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