Page 106 of You Had Me At Thirteen

He slams his hand on the roof of his car. ‘Matilda.’

This stops me in my tracks, so I suck in a breath as I turn to do something I know I’m going to regret.

FORTY-SIX

Wren

* * *

Matilda is standing in front of me with her hand on her hip as she nibbles her bottom lip. Her eyes dart around, unable to focus on me.

‘I’m not doing this,’ she says. ‘Not with you. Not now.’

‘Tough shit,’ I say, crossing my arms over my chest. If Matilda thinks she can avoid this conversation, she is sadly mistaken.

‘I don’t want to talk about it.’ She spins and marches across her front lawn, but I follow close behind her, my toes almost on her heels.

‘Tell me what you meant in the car,’ I say, trying my best to keep my cool. I’m out of my fucking depth here, this relationship thing sending my brain scrambling.

‘No.’ She’s trying to find the key to her front door, so I snatch the bundle from her hands, making her turn towards me. She reaches for them, but I hold them above my head. There’s no way she’s reaching that far up.

She smacks my chest, her tiny nostrils flaring. ‘Give them back.’

‘Tell me what you meant.’

‘Just give me the goddamn keys, Wren. I want to forget the whole day.’

‘You can’t beat yourself up over it, baby. You tried your best. We’ll work it out, I promise.’

‘Tried my best?’ She throws her arms up. ‘Are you kidding? I’ve been so distracted…’ Her eyes lock on mine, but she snaps her mouth shut, swallowing down her next words. She’s chewing the inside of her bottom lip, blinking back her tears.

I raise an eyebrow. ‘Go on, say it.’ My heart quickens in my chest, heat searing up my torso onto my neck. A vein in my temple pulses as the blood rushes to my head.

Don’t fucking say it.

Do. Not. Say. It.

‘By you,’ she whispers, her shoulders sagging as she drops her head.

There it is.

‘So this is my fault?’

She snaps her head back up. ‘I didn’t say that.’

‘That’s what you meant.’

‘I… No… That’s not what I meant.’ She steps forward, her hand out as she reaches for me.

If this is it, I’m going to memorise every inch of her face. The freckles, the softness, the bottom lip that’s now quivering. It’s like the first time I met her, and she’s just as much taking my breath away as she did then, except now she’s breaking my heart as well. And that’s why I know I have to end it. It’s done. She wins. I’m fucking broken.

‘You’re unbelievable,’ I say, taking a few steps away from her until my back hits the balustrade.

‘Well, I can’t expect you to understand how this feels.’

‘Of course not. What the fuck would I know, right? My life is so great, I couldn’t possibly understand what it feels like to want something with all of your soul.’

That she thinks I can’t understand makes my brain explode. My mum is lying in her bed most days, her body betraying her. And I have to stand here and listen to Matilda feeling sorry for herself because she lost a race. Although it was an important one, there’s so much more to life than that shit.

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