Page 53 of Under His Touch

But what I don’t understand is why he told me he wasn’t a good guy. Did he not want me to like him?

I reach for the stemware, and Amanda adds a splash of wine to each glass. We walk back to the living room and she moves wedding magazines and papers to sit in the comfy buttery-yellow chair across from me, then tucks her feet underneath her. I do the same. Once comfortable, Amanda takes a sip of wine and rubs the line on her forehead. I brace myself.

“What?” I ask.

“I spent the last week trying to wrap my brain around your relationship with Alec.”

My stomach cramps, and I set my wine down, ready to straighten out my friend on where Alec and I stand. “Amanda—” I begin, but she cuts me off.

“No, really stop, Megan. Think about it. None of the women he dated were suitable. He couldn’t commit. Maybe he was holding out for you. I mean he did ditch that one girl and take you on that dirty limo ride.”

“Amanda—” I try again but she stops me.

“Maybe he’s in love with you, but is afraid to commit for some reason. Something is holding him back, I feel that in my gut and my gut never lies. Maybe he settled because he was desperate with the golf tournament coming up. Maybe he had no choice. I’ve seen him and Sara together, Megs. There is zero chemistry, whereas you two damn nearly vibrate when you’re near each other. The sparks. Insane.” She puts her hands by her head and makes an explosion sound.

I pause for a moment, look past her shoulder and consider the heat between us. My entire body warms when I reminisce about the way he touched me, in and out of the bedroom. The stolen kisses, the way he couldn’t seem to keep his hands or his eyes off me whenever we were together. His touch was so achingly tender and at times possessive. The last time we were in bed it was like he needed to mark every inch of me. I quiver just thinking about it.

Could Alec feel the same way about me as I do about him? Is something holding him back? If so, what? I let out a frustrated growl and I drop my head back on the sofa.

“Maybe I’m just clinging to something that isn’t there. You of all people know I have a hard time letting go. Maybe I was good enough to have sex with, but not to marry. Maybe I don’t fit the criteria of what he needs in a wife.”

“Maybe you need to talk to him to find out.” She sips her wine and swirls it in her glass. “Did you ever tell him you wanted more?”

“No, actually I told him I didn’t want more from him.”

“Maybe he’s working with that information.”

My heart beats a little faster in my chest. Is there really a chance that Alec and I can be together? Is something holding him back, some deeper fear?

“He’s getting married to Sara tomorrow,” I announce, my hope dwindling.

Amanda sets her glass down, and meets my gaze unflinchingly. “I want you to answer me seriously, Megan. Do you love him?”

Oh, God, I do. I love him so much. He’s the best guy I know.

“Yes,” I answer honestly, and Amanda stands.

“Get your purse,” she says, pulling her phone from her back pocket.

“What?”

“Get your purse. I’m getting you an Uber. You and Alec need to talk.”

“Amanda—”

“Stop overthinking this, girlfriend. Car’s on its way. Move it.”

I climb from the sofa and stand on shaky legs. The truth is I do love Alec, and before he goes through with this sham of a wedding tomorrow, I have to talk to him, tell him how I feel. Otherwise I’ll spend the rest of my life regretting it and wondering what if...

“Okay,” I say, my voice as shaky as my legs. I grab my purse, and feel equal measure of excitement and fear as Amanda walks me out the door, down the stairs and to the front of the building. As I stand there, I start to get cold feet. “Maybe this isn’t a good—”

“Overthinking again,” she says, and holds her hand up to stop me. “You have to know, Megan. You can’t spend the rest of your life wondering what if.”

“You’re right. I can’t.”

An inky black car pulls up, and I slide into the backseat. “Text me,” Amanda says. “I’ve got a good feeling about this.”

I give the driver directions, and fold nervous hands on my lap. Breathe, Megan, just breathe.

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