Page 59 of The Rookie

I swallow. “Sorry. He’s your friend and I…” I have no idea what to say. I reacted strongly last night after he told me about the job. Did I overreact? I want to be with him. There’s no question about that. But everything he was saying frightened me. I can’t love and lose him. I can’t follow in my mother’s footsteps, only to end up alone and broken-hearted. Not with Wes. It would kill me.

“He’s hurting.”

“I’m sorry,” I say again.

“You’re hurting,” she says quietly.

I press my hands to my face. I don’t want her to see my tears. “It’s complicated, Jules.” I am not going to drag her into our problems, and I have no idea what Wes said about me, or what happened last night after I left. But if he wanted to keep things private, and he’s a private guy, I’m not about to talk about him behind his back. “You should probably go hang out with him. I know you’re not here much longer.”

She sits there for a second, like she’s debating her next move. “Can I ask one question, and can you answer honestly?”

I frown. “Jules…”

“Do you love him?”

A ridiculous sound climbs out of my throat and a few people glance at me. God, I don’t like being the center of attention any more than Wes does.

“Wait, don’t answer that. I already know you do, so I don’t want to waste my one question on something I already know.”

I stare at her. She knows I love Wes? I almost laugh. I guess it’s pretty obvious to anyone who spent time with us.

“Do you really think Wes was trying to change you into something you’re not?”

“He apologized for it, so yeah, I guess so.”

“Please, Charlie. Think about it.” I open my mouth and she holds her hand up to stop me. “Take a minute. Please. Think about who he really is.” She puts her hand over her heart. “In here.”

I close my eyes as a seagull squawks overhead and I drown out the din of the crowd around us as my mind travels back to the first time I met Wes, right up until last night. He’s always been kind to me, and always made me feel good about myself and my skills. He teased about loving my rubber boots, admired me fully when I was in my coveralls. Never once did he make fun of me, or make me feel anything less than a woman. He was determined to give me a vacation on Brier Island, wanting to do things for me. No man has ever done that before, and the sex…ohmigod, the sex.

He touched me with such care, worshipped me with his eyes, his hands, his mouth and his cock. I swallow as a fine shiver goes through me. Would a man like that want to make me into something different, when he seemed to like me because of my differences?

My lids fly open and I find Jules watching me carefully.

“Jules,” I say, my voice tight.

“He’s a good guy, Charlie.”

“I thought…he wasn’t?”

“No, he wasn’t, and he was apologizing because he thought he overstepped, trying to get you a job in Seattle.”

I glance into the crowd, anxiousness welling up inside me. “Why did he do that, though? Why would he want me to move away from everything I love?”

You love him.

I glance at the people milling about. “This is my home.”

Is it really even home without Wes here?

Jules gives me a gentle smile. “I think there’s more to it, Charlie.”

“What do you mean?”

She stands. “Why don’t we go find out?”

I sit there for a long moment, nearly paralyzed as I sort through the fog clouding my thoughts. I shake my head hard enough to clear the haze and rattle some sense back into my flustered brain. As the world around me settles and rights itself, I think about Wes, and every moment we spent together and that’s when I realize what’s important and what isn’t.

Wes is important, and so is what he wants!

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