Page 57 of The Rookie

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

A big firm hand lands on my shoulder, and I turn to see Rider and Jules standing there, worry all over their faces. My throat hurts as I fight not to lose it, and cry all over my friend’s shoulder.

“What’s going on?” Rider asks, his gaze going from me, to the crowd, back to me. He moves his body, shifts to block me from curious eyes and phones, and people starts snapping pictures. Christ, this is probably going to be all over the news tomorrow and I fucking hate being in the public eye, and no one will get this story right. How could they? I don’t even fucking know what happened myself. That won’t stop them from spinning a goddamn tale, though. I just hope Charlie doesn’t get dragged down. Sure, she just walked away with Sam, and left me standing here confused, gutted, broken-hearted, but that doesn’t mean I want anything bad to happen to her.

“Charlie told Jules that guy was Sam,” Rider says, pulling my thoughts back. “Sam as in Sam Gilmore…The guy who…”

He lets his words fall off, like he can’t bring himself to finish the sentence, for fear of hurting me. I snort, my fingers curling at my sides and finish it for him. “Yes. That’s Sam Gilmore. The one and only Sam, who Breton left me for back in high school.” I stand there, unable to wrap my brain around the fact that Charlie just left with him. Why the fuck is history repeating itself? What the hell did I do in a past lifetime to deserve this?

“I don’t understand,” Jules says quietly as she shuffles a little closer, when people bang into her, trying to get close to overhear our conversation.

“That makes two of us.” I pinch the bridge of my nose, and struggle to fill my lungs as the room spins. I wobble slightly.

Rider puts his hand on my back, and gives me a nudge. “Let’s get out of here.”

I let him lead me outside, and if he didn’t have a grip on my shirt, I’m sure I’d face plant, although I don’t much care. I can’t hurt any more than I already do. Fireworks light up the night sky when we get outside, and I glance around, searching for Charlie, but she’s nowhere to be found. Maybe if I checked Sam’s place, I’d find her.

“Fuck,” I curse as Jules moves to the other side of me, the two flanking me and offering comfort, though I’m not sure anything can take the chill out of my bones, the pain from my heart.

Rider herds us to the quiet dock, away from prying eyes, and we walk the long length until we get to the end of it. I drop down, and let my legs dangle over the side. My friends position themselves on either side of me and mimic my position.

We sit quietly for a long time as fireworks crack around us. After what feels like an eternity, the fireworks eventually stop, the night sky going quiet again, and I take gulping breaths to calm my heart before I turn to my friends.

“I don’t know what’s going on.”

Jules shifts beside me, like she’s digging in and not leaving this wharf until we figure things out, and I make things right with Charlie. While I appreciate that, I’m not sure what I did wrong, or how to fix it.

“What were you guys talking about?” Jules asks, going in to nurse mode so she can make everything better again, although I’m not so sure she can.

“I told her about the job for the Seattle Shooters.” I jerk my head to the right, toward my buddy. “Rider mentioned they were looking for a part time manager. I’ve been making calls all day. I thought she’d be perfect for it. I’d arranged a job interview. I was telling her about that. I was excited about it. I thought she would be too. It meant we could be…together.”

“Oh,” Jules says, her voice low and breathless.

“I overstepped.” I lean forward, brace my elbows on my legs, and rest my chin in my hands as I glance out over the water, the sound of the waves crashing against the dock, cutting through the silence.

“I don’t think she wants to leave here, Wes,” Jules says quietly.

“I know.”

“Then why did you…”

Her voice falls silent, and my mind races, going over the events of tonight, of the last week, of the first time I set eyes on Charlie at the rink when we were kids, when she impressed me with her hockey skills. Fuck, no one has ever impressed me quite the way she has, in all aspects of life.

“I thought…Seattle was the perfect solution,” I murmur under my breath.

“For you, or for her?” Jules says quietly, matching my low tone.

I furrow my brow and glance at her. “For both of us. I…I love her. I fucking love her, Jules. I only want what’s best for her. But it wasn’t my place, I guess. I apologized but…” My words come out garbled as my throat tightens and my heart pounds in my ears. I can’t lose her. I have to figure this out.

“I know you do love her,” Rider says quietly. “It’s easy to tell she loves you too, Wes. But something happened tonight, something frightened her.”

I scoff, anger surging inside me. “Yeah, right into Sam’s arms.”

“Do you really think so, or is that old insecurities coming back to bite you in the ass?” Rider asks pointedly.

I blink, and try to remember exactly what was said tonight, but my goddamn brain is a hot mess. “What are you trying to say?”

“Do you really think, after everything that happened, that Charlie is going to walk away from you, and go for Sam?”

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