Page 64 of The Hard Hitter

“You think that would keep me from a game?”

“No, I suppose not,” I say, and hand him a plate when he gestures for it. I watch him struggle to get the meat from the grill, but I know a man with pride when I see it, so I don’t offer to help.

The food is all laid out buffet style, and the kids come racing over. I kneel down next to Daisy. “What would you like to eat?”

“Oh, I don’t mind helping her,” Mary says. “Now come on, Daisy, let me get you that hot dog with ketchup.”

Daisy slides her hand into Mary’s and trots off with her. I stand there, loving the way Mary is fussing over her. Sam steps up beside me, and when I turn to her, and her dark eyes lock on mine, my entire world shifts.

I want this. I want all of this.

With Sam.

But would she want to be a part of our lives, or would she eventually regret the responsibility of a ready-made family and leave?

19

Sam

Zander has been in and out of my place all week, doing the repairs to my home while I work with my clients. Over a month has passed, and I’m still working with Daisy, even though she has now mastered her ‘s’ words. But I’m not in a hurry to close her file. I like being with her, and Zander, have grown accustomed to having them in my life, and I’m not quite sure how I can let them go.

There has been no talk of extending our relationship past our agreed-upon terms, even though we’ve gone a little beyond our cutoff date. But as long as I’m treating Daisy, our affair continues.

Is it possible that Zander is in no hurry to move on either? Perhaps he’ll want to continue to be with me until he has to leave for hockey, and then pick up again where we left off when he returns.

Do I dare wish for such a thing?

As I walk though my house, my work done for the day, a noise sounds at my door, and I saunter to it and pick up the mail that has been dropped through the slot. My stomach cramps slightly as I walk back to my kitchen, and I make a mental note to call my doctor, to get a checkup, and possible a pap test. I should have done it weeks ago, but I’ve been run off my feet during the day with my growing business, and spending my nights with Zander at his house.

Ever since the day of the BBQ in his backyard, seeing all his friends who were getting married or having babies, it’s really made me reflect on my own life, and what I want out of it.

One thing is for certain—I don’t have it in me to walk away from Zander and Daisy.

My heart lodges in my throat as I think about that. We’re going to have to have a conversation, a deep and meaningful one, but I’m so afraid that Zander won’t want more.

But what if he does?

I can’t walk away without finding out.

As I flip through my mail, I think about my past relationships, and how they ended. Maybe I really didn’t screw anything up at all. With Zander and I, things are going great, and I’ve not done anything to mess up this amazing relationship. Maybe I’m really not such a screwup after all.

One letter catches my eyes, and I tear into it and start reading out loud.

“We have reviewed your application carefully, and contacted your references. We would love for you to come interview for the applied position at our Houston campus. Please contact us at the number below to set up your interview.” I smile as I read it. “Huh,” I say, having never really expected to hear back from the university clinic.

I applied for the job a few months back, when I wanted to change jobs, but then I had a change of heart and went forth with the scary challenge of hanging my own sign. Things were tough at first, and they still are, but my name is getting out there and my slots are filling up quite nicely.

I toss the paper aside…and a wave of nausea hits me.

Slightly lightheaded, I drop into a wooden chair and take deep gulping breaths. I sit out the wave, and my eyes stray to my calendar, to note the date.

I sit up a little straighter as I do the mental math.

“Oh. My. God.” I gulp, and do another quick calculation. “No. No. No,” I say out loud.

I must be mistaken. I have to be mistaken.

Reaching for my purse, I dart outside, jump into my car and head to the nearest drugstore. My heart is racing so fast, it’s pounding in my ears and blurring my vision. I’m breathless by the time I exit my car and hurry to the pharmacy. I search the shelves until I find what I’m looking for. I pay for it quickly, get back in my car, and speed home in record time.

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