The shift in the air when he steps towards me sends goosebumps down my arms, but I keep my eyes closed. When he speaks, his words brush across the shell of my ear. “Maybe you should stop coming up with plans,kiska. They always end with someone getting hurt.”
Elise.
Arslan.
Myself.
He isn’t wrong, but I open my eyes and push him away anyway. “Or maybe you’re the common denominator. All of this shit started happening when you came into my life. I was fine before then.”
“Is that right?”
He’s goading me, talking to me like a toddler. I can feel that he’s just letting me blow off steam until I get tired. Nothing I’m saying is getting through to him.
“Yeah, it is,” I snap. “You and I, we’re toxic. This thing between us is—well, you said it yourself. That there’s something special between us.”
He shakes his head. “I never said that.”
“Earlier tonight, in bed,” I say, jogging his memory. “You said it should just be sex between us, but it’s not. It’s never been that. There’s something more. And whatever it is, it’s dangerous. Volatile. We aren’t good for each other, Nikolai.”
I hear myself talking, but I don’t believe it. Before I met Nikolai, I was sleepwalking through my life. I hated my job and was scared of my boss. Elise and I barely talked. Since she’d come to live with me, we hadn’t had a single serious conversation about our past or our relationship. Now, I feel closer to her than ever before.
Nikolai woke me up. He taught me what life is supposed to feel like: thrilling and full and scary, yeah, but better for it. I’m not sure how I’ll go back to the way it was before him.
But for Elise’s sake, I’ll figure it out.
“I guess we’ll find out, won’t we?” he says.
I frown. “No. That’s what I’m saying. I can't stay here. I have to… We have to get out of here. Me and Elise. She isn’t safe here, and you know that. It’s why you went looking for her tonight. We are leaving.”
“Not if I have anything to say about it,” he snarls. “And as it turns out, I have something to say about everything.”
“What does that mean?”
At that, his mouth tips up into a devastating smirk. “You and I are getting married.”
For a few seconds, his words don’t even sink in. I stare up at him, speechless and motionless, at a complete loss as to what to say.
Then it hits me.
“We can’t get married.”
“Of course we can,” he says easily. “How else am I going to make you understand that you belong to me?”
My face twists in shock and rage. “I don’t belong to you.”
Before the words are even out of my mouth, Nikolai grips my chin hard in his calloused fingers. “Of course you do. Even if you don’t realize it, you are mine. It’s why you crave me. It’s why you’redesperatefor me, beautiful Belle. It’s why I put my child in you,” he says. “And why, even now, you want my hand to drift lower and stroke across your aching pussy.”
I slap his hand away from my exposed belly. “Don’t pretend to know what I’m thinking.”
“I’m not pretending.” He grins at me. “Your face is flushed and your nipples are hard through your nightgown. You might as well be screaming it from the rooftops.”
“That doesn’t mean anything.” I cross my arms over my chest, which only makes him laugh.
“Of course it doesn’t.” He rolls his eyes. “The fact that you were miserable when we were apart for the last six weeks doesn’t mean anything. The fact that you throw yourself at me every chance you get doesn’t mean anything. The fact that you’re thrilled to be carrying my child doesn’t mean anything. Live in denial if you want, but it won’t change reality.”
“And what is reality?” I ask.
In the span of a breath, Nikolai crosses the last bit of distance and takes my mouth with his. His huge hand curls around my neck and his thumb smooths along my jawline. We fit together without even trying.