Page 109 of Tarnished Queen

Elise smiles up at him. They look good together. Pretty as a picture. Anyone who saw them would think they’d been together like this since Elise was born, that they are just like any other father and daughter.

And suddenly, it hits me:I’m happy for them.

I’m happy for Howard and Elise. I’m glad they’ve found each other and that Elise has the chance to have the father I couldn’t. But just as much as that, I realize that I’m happy for me, too. Howard can bear some of the weight of taking care of Elise. None of that means I love her any less, but maybe it means I can afford to pull back a bit. Maybe I can finally be a sister instead of her mom.

That realization locks my decision in place.

I pull Elise in for a bone-crushing hug. “You’ll call me every day?”

“You’re staying?” she asks, like she never actually believed I’d go for it.

“That depends. Are you going to call me every day?” I ask more sternly.

She laughs. “Yes. Twice a day, if I have to to keep you off my case.”

I kiss the top of her head and look at her through the haze of tears in my eyes. “If anything at all goes wrong, call me immediately. Nikolai and I will be there in an instant. Do you hear me?”

“I hear you.”

“Say it again.”

“I hear you, sheesh.”

I hug her one more time, hard, and then move on to Howard. “Are you going to take care of my baby sister?”

“With my life,” he promises softly. “You can trust me, Belle. I won’t let anything happen to her.”

I give Howard a slightly awkward hug and then push them both off towards the gates. “Go. Go before I change my mind.”

I watch until they’re swallowed up by the crowd. Then I turn and walk the wrong way through security.

Nikolai probably left the moment we walked away from him, and I don’t want him to have to turn around and deal with airport traffic again. Maybe I’ll take a taxi back to the house. At least that will ensure he can’t chuck me back through security and force me onto a plane immediately.

That’s the vague plan I’m outlining in my head as I’m walking down the long hall towards the main entrance.

Then I look over and see a familiar figure standing at the viewing area.

Nikolai is standing with his back to me, watching planes taxi down the runway. I know he’s lost in thought because he doesn’t realize I’m walking up behind him until I’m only a few feet away. Unusual for a man like him, who’s always so aware of his surroundings.

When he does finally turn to face me, his mouth is set in a stern frown. But that isn’t so different from usual. It’s hard to tell what he’s thinking.

I give him a weak shrug. “Would you believe me if I said they kicked me off the plane?”

He stares at me silently for a few more seconds. Then he drags a hand down his face. “Fucking hell, Belle.”

“I’m sorry.” I surge forward and throw my arms around his middle. He’s solid and reassuring and he smells like the forest after it rains, and I’m not sure how I ever managed to let him go. “I couldn’t do it. I want to stay with you.”

His body is tense under my touch. His voice sounds pained. “We decided leaving was for the best, Belle.”

“And since when do I do what’s best for myself?”

“That’s the problem.” He holds me at arm’s length. “That’s why I have to make the hard decisions. Because if it’s up to you, you’ll get yourself killed.”

“This decision was hard for you?”

“It’s not like I imagined marrying you and then sending you away.”

“So don’t.” I grab his arms and wrap them around my waist for him. “Howard can take care of Elise. And I can stay here with you.”

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