Page 108 of Tarnished Queen

She shakes her head. “You don’t have to do this for me, Belle. You’ve done enough.”

“You’re right. I’ve done way, way more than enough,” I scoff. “You’re fleeing the country, because of what I did, because of who I trusted, because of who I was afraid of, because of what I misunderstood. You’re less safe than ever because of all the ‘enough’ I’ve done. All of this is my fault. So now, I have to—”

“No, you don’t,” she cuts in. “You don’t have to do anything. You’re getting me out of the city. Howard is coming with me. You’re doing more than enough. You don’t even have to come with me if you don’t want to.”

“You can’t go alone with him.”

“Why not?” Elise asks. She stares at me, waiting for a response. “Don’t you trust him?”

I nod grudgingly. “Yeah.”

“Do you think he’ll take care of me?”

I sigh. “Yes, but—”

“But you’re a control freak who can’t admit that I don’t need you for every single thing all the time?”

“Hey!”

“It’s true. Spoken out of love, though.” Elise steps forward and grabs my shoulders. “Look, B: you wouldn’t have asked Howard to come if you didn’t trust him, so that’s not the problem. And I was going to let you come with us because I thought it was what you wanted, but clearly it’s not. You want to stay with Nikolai, don’t you?”

The answer is at the tip of my tongue, but I can’t bring myself to say it. Guilt keeps me quiet.

“Don’t you?” she asks, shaking me playfully as one corner of her mouth tilts up in a wry grin. “Just admit it, you clown.”

I whimper. “Fine. Yes. I want to stay. But only because I know you’ll be safe. I’m not sure Nikolai will be, so it’s hard to leave him.”

Even the passing thought that Nikolai might get hurt while I’m on the other side of the world and too far to do anything makes me feel nauseous.

“So don’t leave him,” she says. “Stay here. Be with him.”

As if it’s that simple.Be with him.There’s more baggage in those three little words than in this whole airport put together.

Howard ambles up behind her, sliding his wallet back into his pocket. “What’s going on, ladies?”

“Belle is deciding whether she is going to stay behind or not,” Elise explains bluntly. “She doesn’t want to leave Nikolai.”

I cringe when she lays it out like that. “I’m not deciding anything!”

Howard nods serenely. “That makes sense. You just got married.”

“And you’re pregnant,” Elise adds. “You’ll want to be close to your baby daddy.”

“Husband,” I correct with a warning glare. “You said you’d stop calling him that after we got married.”

“You’re right. He’s not just your baby daddy anymore. He’s the man you love.”

Elise says it so easily, but the words send a blush blooming across my cheeks. For most people, getting married is the ultimate sign of love. But things have been different for us. Nikolai is clearly fond of me. But admitting my own love? It feels a bit too much like offering my heart up to the guillotine.

Which is part of why I want to stay.

Whatever is going on between us, I don’t want to let it go. It’s too fragile to survive in the wild, cruel world we live in.

“I’ll be okay, Belle,” Elise says gently. “Really, I will. And I won’t be mad if you stay.”

“You won’t?” I ask. Before she can answer, I shake my head. “I can’t believe I’m actually considering letting you leave on your own.”

Howard throws a casual arm over Elise’s shoulder and pulls her in for a side hug. “She won’t be alone. She’ll be with me.”

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