Page 277 of Dirty Discipline, Vol. 1

The one upside was that while she was trapped and wouldn’t be able to escape without help, she was also safe for the moment. No animals would be able to get to her without trapping themselves as well and the broken lattice at top would probably keep them from making the same mistake she had. With nothing else to do, she curled up in the shadows against the wall, and went to sleep.

She had no way of knowing how long she slept. The limited view of the sky didn’t give her the ability to estimate by looking at the suns’ progress, but it had been long enough that she no longer felt bone-weary. It was her growling stomach that woke her, and she sat up, yawning, and pulled her pack over so she could retrieve one of her precious ration pouches.

She was careful with the food she had left, and only allowed herself a few bites. She had enough for a few days if she was careful. What she didn’t have was any water, and she knew that thirst would become an issue long before hunger did.

At this point, her only hope of surviving was that someone would find her, even if that someone had their own agenda. She’d just have to worry about what they wanted from her later once she was free. At least then, she’d have a chance of getting away.

She tried shouting, in case anyone was within hearing range, but she didn’t hold out much hope of that. The planet was vast, and while she had no idea how many exiles were living in the wilds, she doubted there would just happen to be any nearby.

Either someone had built the trap she was in and would come check, or she would die there at the bottom of the pit from dehydration. She felt oddly resigned about it. Her emotions had overloaded and shut down, and now she wasn’t feeling any of the terror she should be. It’s a pity that hunger and thirst don’t turn themselves off the same way, she thought.

When it started to rain, it was a mixed blessing. She tipped her head back and drank every drop she could catch eagerly enough, but the bottom of the hole quickly turned into a muddy sludge that soaked through her clothes. When it stopped, maybe an hour later, she was left shivering from the wet. Because only a small amount of sun reached her there, she stayed that way.

She began to consider what would happen when the suns went down and the temperature dropped; it wasn’t a happy thought. She doubted she’d be able to move enough to keep her body heat up either. As unlikely as it was, she started yelling for help again, and continued in short bursts until her voice gave up. No one came.

Long before it actually grew dark, she was having to jump to her feet and run in place to warm herself. Her damp clothes clung to her skin and seemed to make it worse. She debated whether stripping down to the fur might actually be warmer, but in the end, she couldn’t bear the thought of sitting naked in the mud waiting for someone to come and claim her. It just felt too vulnerable.

She curled up to conserve body heat instead, wrapping her arms around her knees and huddling there. It got worse as the day went on. She never fully dried out and when the shadows crawled across the bottom of the pit, she knew she was in trouble. She had already been shivering, but the little bit of warmth that managed to find its way down to the bottom of the hole left with the light.

Shivering turned into violent shaking and she started to feel feverish. She ran out of energy for her little bursts of exercise, and by the time there was true dark, she just lay in the mud moaning miserably. The night felt endless. Sleeping wasn’t a possibility, which meant she had plenty of time to think over her decisions and regret her actions.

Jahk’s cave appeared in her mind, and she tried to envision herself by the fire, warm. She thought about the steaming meat broth he’d fed her, and her mouth watered. She risked another few bites of rations, hoping that would give her body enough energy to keep going, but her mouth was so dry she could barely choke it down.

It got worse. The cold seemed to settle into her bones. She couldn’t even remember what being warm felt like. She began to feel groggy. Everything hurt, and when she tried to stand up, she realized she didn’t have the energy for another round of running in place. She barely made it to her knees before collapsing. At that point, it was too much for her body and she succumbed to unconsciousness.

Chapter Seven

After that was a long period of confusion. Her head felt fuzzy and confused. Nothing seemed to make any sense. She vaguely remembered someone lifting her up and then there was a swaying sensation of being carried. It was comforting, and so was the warm body she was pressed against.

She couldn’t make her eyes open to see what was going on. Her eyelids felt excessively heavy. She heard someone muttering angrily and she automatically apologized, even though she wasn’t sure she was the one they were angry at. There was silence for a second and then she thought she heard a comforting voice telling her to sleep.

The wooziness made her feel slightly queasy and the rocking of her body as she was carried didn’t help, but sleep sounded like a good idea. She snuggled into the warmth and gave it a try.

Over the next little while she had brief moments of lucidity. Sometimes she even thought she knew what was happening, but she couldn’t tell what was real. The hallucinations were so vivid that she couldn’t separate them from reality.

What she did know, was she was very sick. Her body ached, and a heavy congestion had settled into her chest. She had moments of being too hot, and then seconds later would be wracked by chills. She was surrounded by people she knew; only she was pretty sure they weren’t really there. Especially when her mother, who had died when she was just a child, showed up to lecture her about breaking rules.

The only one she knew was real was Jahk, because he didn’t dissolve when she reached out to touch him. She clung to him every chance she got, until he had to unwind her arms from his neck so he could care for her. She couldn’t have asked for a more attentive nurse.

He spooned soup into her mouth because she was too weak to hold the bowl. He bathed her feverish body and fed her foul-tasting medicines every few hours. And when she whimpered with embarrassment over admitting she had to pee, he carried her outside and held her while she took care of those needs too.

Days must have passed before she started to feel a little more coherent. He kept careful watch to make sure she didn’t overdo things, but finally she was allowed to sit up and feed herself. It felt like a win. They talked a little, comparing their lives and experiences. She got to know him, and she liked what she learned.

But it drove her crazy that she had so little reserves of energy. One moment she’d be feeling strong enough to wash herself, but the act would take everything and ten minutes later she’d be fast asleep. She’d never been so sick in her life. Maybe once or twice, as a child, she’d been ill. But a quick trip to the medical center fixed her up and she couldn’t remember it ever lasting more than a day.

“I warned you that things were different out here,” he answered, shrugging. He continued to cut up chunks of meat and dump them into a pot that he’d positioned among the coals.

“But shouldn’t I be over it by now?” She knew she sounded like a whiny child, but she couldn’t help it. Being exhausted all the time was awful, and depending on a male she barely knew to help her with every intimate detail was painfully embarrassing.

He stopped and looked up. “You’re lucky you’re not dead. If I hadn’t found you when I did, you wouldn’t have made it until morning. I thought you were dead at first. Your skin was so cold, I was sure you had to be.”

Her mouth opened but nothing came out, and then it snapped shut as she considered that. She hadn’t realized she’d been that sick. “I guess it was the rain that caused it. I was chilled and couldn’t get warm, and then the temperature dropped.”

“That would have been enough, I’m sure. But out here beyond the dome there’s a sickness we call ‘the burning’. New exiles and the weak are especially prone to it. There’s a bitter herb that helps.” He gestured to the pot with the tip of his knife. “I always put it in my soups. The meat helps disguise the taste. If you’d stayed another day or two before running off, you probably would have had enough in your system.”

But she hadn’t. He didn’t need to say the words, she already knew she’d made a mistake and up until then the topic had been hanging over her head ominously. She was almost glad he’d brought it up.

She ducked her head, heat rising in her face. “I’m sorry. I thought—”

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