Page 20 of Protect Me

My brother. My half-brother.

How can I process that? How could he? While being in a war zone? My heart clenches at the thought.

That must have been a few months before he started working as my bodyguard, but still it hurts to think of him having such a hard time. Marco sees the worry in my eyes and quickly tells me that Hector is so much better now, better than he’s ever seen him actually.

“I’m sorry I lied to you,” he adds.

“You didn’t,” I reply. “I never asked you if you knew Hector.”

“A lie by omission is as much a lie as any other,” he says. “And I am so sorry for each and every one of them.”

“Are there more?”

“There are about to be none,” he says.

I shudder and he looks like he wants to sit closer to me, but he doesn’t dare.

“You were explaining to me how these people helped Hector get home,” I remind him, “and you were about to tell me what they wanted from you in return.”

He laughs harshly.

“Oh, they wanted something in return all right,” he says, then he squeezes his eyes shut. “Are you sure you don’t want to listen to all the voice mail I’ve recorded? It’s all there, I promise. All of it.” I shake my head. I need him to tell me. He nods, as if he was expecting this reaction. “I said fine, whatever. I would have chopped off my right arm and given it to them if it would have made Hector stop hurting.”

“You would?”

He shrugs as if it’s the most normal thing on the planet. “Of course. Two months later, they pulled me aside to collect. It was time to cash in their chips.” He stops, swallows hard. “They wanted to send me home as well, but with a mission,” he says.

“What was the mission?” I ask.

His eyes grow hooded; I know what he’s going to say. “You,” he says.

…

The deal was that he would assassinate the Crown Princess of Asteria, he tells me. They got him a job as her personal bodyguard, he would go through the interviews at the palace, everything was arranged. Marco decided then and there that he wouldn’t do it, but he didn’t refuse to take on the ‘mission’. If he did, he would be killed on the spot, and Hector would be sent back to the army. Then Marco would be replaced with someone who would actually accept the job and finish it. Finishme.

“I couldn’t do that, I couldn’t…” Marco’s voice stops. He’s crying again, quietly, soundlessly, into the side of his hand like a little boy. “I wanted it to be me,” he says when he’s calmed down a little. “And after I came here and got to know you, it felt like a win, you know? A much bigger win than surviving would have been. To be the one who stays with you until the end. To be the one to die for you.”

“What did you just say?” I’m sitting so close to the fire that the flames are practically licking my cheek. Still, I suddenly feel cold spreading in my chest.

“Sorry, sorry.” Marco sniffles. “It’s not… Don’t concern yourself with it.”

“Don’t concern myself with you dying for me?”

“I’m not sure…” He’s struggling to breathe. “I’m not sure that even dying for you will help right now, Olivia. I’m sorry. It’s been decided.”

“What has?”

“That you will…”

“Die, I say.”

He leans back, closes his eyes. His lips go completely bloodless. “I’m sorry,” he breathes. “I am so incredibly powerless, I hate it. I hate myself.”

“You’ve kept me alive so far,” I say, and I think it’s the second time I’ve said it or something similar. It’s true, but I’m only now realizing what it’s costing him to keep me alive.

He grabs my hand blindly and brings it to his lips.

“Why did it have to be you?” he murmurs. His tears fall on my fingertips, and he clutches them so hard my knuckles turn white. I don’t even feel the pain.

---