Page 86 of When love and Hate Collide

I feel Ashlyn sigh and she continues to stroke my hair while I sob into her chest. “Okay, shhh, do what you need to do, just please stop putting all this unnecessary pressure on yourself. If getting back together with Paxton doesn’t feel right, then clearly your heart isn’t in it, Jey.”

Truth is, I don’t know where my heart is at the moment. All I know is that I feel wretched inside, like everything good about me is slowly rotting away from the inside out.

I’m not a good person and I’m crumbling under the pressure of all the lies I’ve been telling the people I love. Especially Ashlyn. She’s never going to forgive me for betraying and deceiving her.

After the fight Dean and I had two days ago, I called Paxton and told him I was ready to give us another chance to make it work. He took me out to dinner that night.

It’s been six days since we went out to dinner that night he gave me the ring—a promise that we will get through this together and be better than ever.

Since the day Dean stormed out of my bedroom, I’ve not seen him around. Oz mentioned briefly in conversation that he packed a small bag and took off without a word, likely to go and booze it up with his military buddies. Am I surprised? Absolutely not. And this is the guy I’m supposed to rely on to be there?

Five days go by, and there’s still no sign of him. I shouldn’t care, so why am I still slyly trying to find out where he is?

Sunday came as quick as a blink of an eye, Paxton and I agreed to stay until the party on Sunday and then leave after. The days leading up to the party I spent near enough every day with Paxton. It felt comfortable and familiar being with him again, but however hard I try I couldn’t shake the doubts gnawing at me or the little soul that was growing inside of me.

Sunday afternoon I’m sitting with Ashlyn in her bedroom. She insisted on helping me get ready for this ridiculous party—which is being held in my parent’s garden by the way. Paxton has gone off to have his hair cut and shave, which gives me the opportunity to spend some much needed time with my best friend.

“I can’t believe you’re deserting me,” Ashlyn voices while she wraps a piece of my hair around the curling iron.

“I know and I wish I didn’t have to, but this is something I need to do, Ash,” Ashlyn nods in understanding and I hear her sigh.

“I get it, I do, it’s just disappointing because we made plans to make this summer our bitch and since we’ve been back home you seem to be in your own little world or disinterested. After you started seeing Mr hottie no name or as I like to call himSouffle, you’ve just been detached. Did something happen with him that you’re not telling me about?”

I swallow the dread that rises from my gut and shake my head. “No, we just lost interest and it fizzled out, I guess.” The lies scald my tongue as they leave my lips while I distract myself by nervously fumbling with a make-up brush that’s lying on her bed.

“Oh, well that’s a shame, you seem to really like him.” Warm tears of despair roll down my cheeks and I quickly wipe them away before she notices.

“He was just a distraction who served his purpose and we moved on. That’s all there is to it.” When she’s done curling the piece that she’s holding, I shift, “Sorry, I really need to pee.”

Sliding off her bed I hurry over to the door and open it. I walk to the bathroom, turn the handle to the door and walk in. I’m engulfed in steam the moment I step inside the small bathroom. It’s like a freaking steam room, I couldn’t see a thing. Oz must be back from the gym and just finished showering. I close the door and lock it when the shower curtain is suddenly pulled open. My heart leaps as I spin and face the person stepping out of the shower. My throat goes dry when I see it’s Dean, standing before me, fully naked and dripping wet.

Of course. Of course, it would be him, why would my damn luck change for the better now. You would think I’d pick up on the scent of his body wash the moment I walk in, but my brain just assumed that it was Oz as Dean hadn’t even come home when I came over earlier. We both look equally surprised to see one another, neither of us look away and the two by four bathroom suddenly feels that much smaller. Bloody hell, why does he have to look so damngood. Resisting him would be so much easier if I didn’t find him so attractive or didn’t know how soul quaking his kisses are.

“Shit, sorry, the door was unlocked, and I didn’t hear the shower running. I’ll just…” I turn to leave but Dean shakes his head.

“It’s fine, I’m done,” he replies bleakly. “Mind passing me the towel?” he requests casually gesturing to the white towel hanging on the rail beside me.

I reach for the towel, pull it off the rail and hold it out to him, keeping my eyes cast down the entire time, “When did you get back?” I ask, staring at the marble tiled floor.

“Ten minutes ago,” Dean replies curtly, wrapping the towel around his waist, a deep scowl on his handsome face. I’ve never known anyone to make brooding look so damn attractive. “Just in time for the party, it seems.” The derision laced in his tone makes me wince internally.

“It’s not a party,” I correct, fixing my gaze on the decals on the wall opposite to avoid looking at him. “Just a small get together my parents insisted on.”

“And so they should, after all their little princess is engaged to the love of her life, right.” He drawls, not masking the bitterness in his tone. “Clearly you have yet to share the news that you’re expectingmybaby with them all or are you planning to lie some more and pretend it’s his to save face?”

I look at him sharply, “Shut up, Dean,” I hiss affronted, and he smirks. “I don’t see you running to your family to claim the baby as yours. You know what I saw? Your back when you walked away and once again disappeared for days on end.” I retort, pushing myself off the door I step closer and when I do I notice the bruise on his left cheek bone. My first instinct is to pull him to me and check him over for more bruises, but I kerb that urge. My eyes travel from his cheek to his hands where I see his knuckles are bruised too. “What happened to you?”

Dean’s hand fists and he goes to sidestep me but I step in his way, looking up at him expectantly. “Nothing.”

I shake my head and point to his face. “That doesn’t look like nothing to me. You’ve been fighting. Is that where you’ve been this whole time?”

Dean turns his gaze to mine and steps closer, forcing me back until my back is pressed against the sink. “What do you care what I get up to, JJ? I thought you didn’t give a hot pile of shit?”

I go still when he leans into me. The foolish girl inside is rattled by the warmth his body is emitting when he steps into my space. Dean reaches behind me to retrieve his chain sitting on the side of the counter.

“I don’t.”

He doesn’t move, instead he speaks quietly into my ear. “You’re a liar.”

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