Page 19 of Monster Girl Awakened

My hand's fist as I stare down at the photo in my hand.Ethan. So many questions and theories roll around in my head but I have no idea what to do with any of them. He’s always hovering on the edge of my thoughts, despite my attempts to banish him from my mind, even when I was away from the Academy. There are so many reminders of him at home. All those memories were stirred up in the aftermath of what happened with Ethan, and just seeing his face. So similar to Anna’s. I blink, scanning the photo harder.

With everything that happened at the end of the last term, I knew that I needed to try and give myself a break. Some time to reset and absorb everything. I couldn’t risk burning out, not while he’s still out there. So I forced myself to not think about any of the stuff involving him or the Drákon group over the holidays. Or I at least tried to. I told myself that I’d take a break. But now that I’m back at the Academy, the self imposed ban is over, and my gut roils with what if’s.What if someone else has been hurt or captured because I haven’t been working on this? What if he’s managed to leave the academy grounds? Hell, what if hehasn’tleft the grounds?Gods, my head is a mess.

I swallow hard. It’s been nearly three weeks since Lexi was kidnapped and the showdown between the guys, me and the murderer—Ethan—and I feel so fucking lost. My eyes shift to the free standing cork board that’s a few feet away from me, covered head to toe in photos. Some are not much different than the candid shot in my hand and others of more gruesome things. Things that I no longer flinch at and haven’t for quite some time now.

For so long I’ve been trying to figure it all out.What the hell happened to Anna? What is the name of the creature who did it and how the fuck can I end them?Asking so many questions, tracking down leads, protecting others—or attempting to. So much that it’s become an obsession. Ineedto know. But Ethan puts a wrench in things.To what degree was he involved in what happened to her? Was he involved at all? Are my theories all wrong? Have I been going after the wrong group of people this entire time? Where the hell has he been all these years?Even with the use of all my accumulated contacts, I’d been unsuccessful in locating him, only to run into him by chance in my friend’s—Dylan’s—dorm room.

I flop back onto my bed, legs dangling off the end as I roughly tug on my hair. The almost shoulder length strands of my A-line bob prevent my fingers from tangling and I release a huff. The thought of my haircut though, just makes my thoughts shift to Lexi. Guilt slides through me and I place a hand on my stomach as it roils dangerously with nausea.It’s my fault she was taken. Should I have stopped digging?Yet another reason I needed a break. I have no fucking idea what the right move was. It’s too late to go back now, but I have a choice to make on whether I stop or keep going. I swallow roughly, only to groan, making Unicorn chirp from where she’s taking a nap on the window sill in my room.

My phone pings with a notification and I grab it, tapping into the news notification. I’m following all of them to keep tabs on the Drákon groups, keeping an eye on what new horrors they’ve been doing. I flick through the article and my stomach drops. There have been more kidnappings. So many. All of them aged between eighteen and thirty. All of them are powerful. I grit my teeth before letting out a careful breath to steady myself. I have to keep pursuing Ethan and doing my part, with the Drákon group upping the ante on the amount of kidnappings, the SFBI is going to be scrambling to keep up, as is the supernatural police force.

I shut off my screen and toss it onto my bed, thoughts drifting back to the Academy and how the next term is going to go. I rub my dry eyes and grab one of my pillows, hugging it to my chest. The Academy has been surprisingly kind and understanding, though as distant and removed from the situation as they could get away with. I still can’t believe that the last two weeks of our first term were cancelled, extending our two-week break to four weeks. It’s going to be an insane term, especially now that all of our assignments and tests we hadn’t done yet at the end of last term, have been pushed forward to be completed over the first two weeks of the new term.

I shake my head. The inkling that had been niggling at the back of my head telling me there was something fishy going on in the Academy before the attack, has been confirmed by so many things that have happened.

I’m going to figure out what the hell is going on. Preferably with the help of the guys. They’ve been really supportive in the aftermath, even though nothing really happened to me. And they don’t even know the significance behind the girl I conjured up accidentally with my powers to terrify Ethan.Anna. Or why it has been messing with my head. I have not been sleeping well. Though it’s more so since I’ve been back at the Academy. Alone in my dorm room. Unicorn’s great, but it’s not the same as the people I usually have around me. She also prefers to go out at night to hunt in the forestry and shift to her full size which she isn’t able to do while cooped up in my dorm. It’s my plan to do a little research on her specific species and figure out what she prefers and how to cater for that.

I shake my head again and push to my feet, checking my phone. Ten to four. If I leave now I’ll have enough time to get across campus to La La’s Coffeehouse to meet Lexi. She’s finally agreed to meet up with me. I grab my bag and give Unicorn a scratch on the cheek in a goodbye, making sure a window is open so she can leave if she wants to. She’ll probably end up following me at a distance to keep an eye on me, but she doesn’t love to be in places with lots of people so I make sure she doesn’t feel forced to tag along. Content that she’s taken care of, I make my way across campus.

I get there before Lex and I choose a seat in the back, after ordering a cappuccino for me and a latte for her. My fingers drum against my thigh absently as nerves swarm my stomach. This will be the first time I’ve seen her in three weeks. After the attack, she tried to stay with her parents but struggled with her mates being so far away, and when she had a bad panic attack, they couldn’t get near her, so we talked it over and she decided to move in with her mates earlier than expected. Which also means she moved out of our shared dorm room. The school allowed it because of the unique circumstances and though I’ve been texting with her back and forth, I haven’t seen her in person since then.

The door jingles and my head snaps up, eyes clashing with Lexi’s before sliding to her mate, Dan. We’ve only met a few times. From what I’ve managed to learn about his personality, I like him. He seems like a good fit for my bestie and so far they’ve been stuck to her side like glue since the incident, which soothes something inside me.

My jaw twitches with concern as I take in both of their rumpled appearances and the deep bags underneath their eyes. Both Lexi and Dan appear as though they haven’t slept in a week, and she seems checked out. The fire that was previously in her eyes is gone.

I stand when they reach the booth I chose and Lexi gives me a stiff hug before sitting down across from me. Dan gives me a tired smile before leaning down to whisper to Lex. She nods and he heads back out of the shop, leaving us alone to talk.

I suck in a steadying breath. “I ordered you your usual.”

She nods again, not speaking.

I swallow hard. Not wanting to push, but needing to check-in, I ask, “How are you doing?”

She puffs out a ragged breath and those almost translucent blue eyes finally focus on mine, some of that dazed look fading. Seemingly in an unconscious movement, she starts scratching at her wrist. “Not the best.” She swallows, eyes darting away from mine, her fingers speeding up as she scratches at her skin, not seeming to notice when she draws blood. “I c-can’t sleep, I struggle to keep anything down, and I feel like I see him everywhere.”

When a drop of blood rolls down her hand and onto the table I slowly reach over and rest my fingers on her hand that’s still vigorously gouging at her other wrist, pausing her frantic movements. I don’t mention it, though she looks down, her eyes widening when she realises what she did. That dissociated look flashes over her expression again and I worry that she’s going to disappear mentally once more, but she doesn’t. Thankfully.

She doesn’t move her hands, sucking in a deep breath. “I have tried to go out with the guys since, but it’s not great. My skin crawls and knowing that he’s still out there terrifies me.”

That ever-present guilt surfaces again, but I’m careful to keep it off my features as I give her unharmed wrist a reassuring squeeze. “We’ll get him, and if we don’t then the SFBI will.”

She shivers, removing her hand from my grip but nods. I get the feeling that she doesn’t believe me, and I make a silent vow to myself that I’ll do anything in my power—that doesn’t put others at risk—to help the SFBI put him away.

We make idle conversation for a little while—well I do—before Dan returns and Lex heads off with him, this time giving me a slightly more relaxed hug before she goes.

My worry doesn’t ease though and I walk back to my dorm lost in thought. My dorm now. Alone. I roll my shoulders, feeling oddly uncomfortable when I enter the place. I’ve been back for a few days, but it still feels odd being here all by myself. I’m alone here now at night, other than Unicorn, but it just isn’t the same. I’m so used to having other people near me when I sleep that I feel like I have to constantly be on alert now that there isn’t anyone else in the dorm but me.

My eyes snag on Lexi’s closed door. Her mates and Oscar helped move her stuff out a few days after the school gave her permission to move out. Lex is very talented with spells and transported a lot of her own furniture and belongings over to her dorm room when we moved in at the start of our first term, so there was more than usual for them to move physically since Lexi hasn’t been comfortable enough to use her magic after being abducted. At least as far as I know.

Rubbing my eyes, I let out a world-weary groan. It’s as though I have bricks on my eyelids and I focus on my clock. It’s only late afternoon but I cave and decide to shower and go to bed. It might end up being another restless night, but my bed is my safespace.

I gather my things and set them on the bathroom counter before stripping. With meticulous, yet slightly robotic motions, I set the right temperature and step into the shower. My mind’s still whirring, and I growl, slamming my palms against the tiled wall. “Shut up,” I mutter, ready to lose my ever-loving shit at the voices in my head. Anxiety is like a slow, never-ending torture and I’m about ready to chop off my head to get some peace from it, just for a few minutes.

I bring my teeth down on my bottom lip,hard, drawing blood, but it centres me.

Since coming to the academy I’ve been holding myself back, giving myself time to focus solely on my studies for the first term, or at least before the murders started. I put a hold on everything I’ve been doing to find who is responsible for Anna’s death and learn anything I can about my blood heritage. I also stopped branching out on my research on the Drákon groups rampaging the Supernatural Realm, but I think it’s time to stop hiding that side of myself and beg the Goddess that it releases some of the ever growing tension inside me.

It’s time to get back to my old haunts and pay a few piece-of-shit-men a visit.

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