Page 42 of The Shadow Gods

“Astyanax stopped me before I left. I would never see him alive again, and I spent our last moments pushing him aside, so I could leave. He didn't even know what the word meant, but he yelled it after me. 'No orphan.'“ He shook his head. “Something like that. He wrapped himself around my legs, and I peeled him away from me. I'd never feel his arms around me again. Never feel his weight in my arms.” Tears leaked from his eyes and ran down the sides of his face into the pillow. He didn't make a move to wipe them away, so I did, then kissed him gently on each cheek.

“You know what the crazy thing is, though?” He held me, caught in that wrecked gaze.

“No,” I whispered.

He smiled a little. “If I think about it hard enough, I can feel his hand in mine. I can see the dimples in his knuckles and how his skin would turn this soft brown in the sun. I used to kiss his hands, and I can feel them on my lips. After all this time, I'm afraid I'll forget how it feels, but I haven't. Thank the gods, I haven't, because it’s all I have. His voice is gone. His smell. But I can feel him. If I think about it hard enough."

The lump in my throat was choking me, but it wasn’t my grief, and I didn't want to take anything from him. Dropping my head against his chest, I hid my face.

In the quiet, we stayed motionless. Every piece of my body was tuned into him. I swallowed until the lump lessened enough for me to speak. “When everything else is lost, you have that. And it must hurt, but it's also a gift.”

His arms came around me, squeezing so tight, and he kissed my head. “I wish I'd been a better father, but I would never wish that part of my life away.”

“Of course not!” I lifted my head. “He was meant to be here. It was too short, but you had each other. You loved each other. I would never wish love away.”

He stared at me. The smile that took over his face was shaky and filled with pain, but it was beautiful too. “I'm glad to talk about him. I don't. Not enough.”

And he'd chosen to share this with me. My heart filled with pride and a little bit of fear. “I want you to talk to me. If I say the wrong thing, you have to tell me, though.” The thought of hurting him by saying something off-base or insensitive scared the shit out of me. I hoped I hadn't said anything wrong now—

“You couldn't.” Hector leaned toward me, hand sliding in my hair, and kissed me. He didn't push for more, even though he was hardening beneath me. Both of us were looking for comfort and found it in each other.

Eventually, our kisses slowed, and Hector drew back. “Shower and then sleep.”

Pushing back the sheets, he sat up. Every inch of his sculpted body was on display, and god, he was cut from stone. I knew exactly how that muscle felt beneath my fingers.

“Are you going to stare or join me?” he asked, a full smile on his lips.

I sat up, went to my knees, and stuck both my fingers in his dimples. Laughing, he grabbed my hands. “What are you doing?”

“I've wanted to do it since I realized those dimples existed. I like seeing them.” Hector's smile was knock-me-on-my-ass amazing.

“I haven't felt like smiling in a long time, but I'm happy.” His eyes widened as if he was suddenly processing what he’d said. “You make me happy.”

Good.

I probably looked like a loon, kneeling naked on the bed, fingers in his cheeks, grinning so big my face hurt, but I didn't care. I made him happy.Me.

Lifting me in his arms, he pressed his lips against my neck. I tried to tuck my head to the side, but he wouldn't let me. In seconds, we were in the shower, warm water beating down on us while he licked a line from my shoulder to my ear.

I moaned, and the sound was so loud in the tiled bathroom, I jerked back.

“I love the sounds you make.”

That made me wonder. “What sounds?”

He chuckled and shifted me in his arms so my back was against the shower wall. With one adjustment, I was sliding down his body. The blunt tip of him pushed into me. I sucked in a breath, and he smiled. “That one. The little gasp.”

He thrusted into me, sliding as far inside me as he could go, and I cried out. “And that one. The one you make when I push into you. When your body grips me like a fist and you get so wet.”

I didn't know how to process what he was saying, but my body did. Heat flushed my face, then rushed down my chest to pool between my legs.

His withdrawal was slow, then he slid in fast. Slow. Fast. Slow. Fast. I couldn't catch my breath.

“That sound.” Hector was breathless, too, but he didn't lose his rhythm. That long, hard dick dragged against me, slid in, and then dragged out. “Like I'm making you fall apart.”

He was. One more thrust, and he stayed there. He was owning my body, making it react just the way he wanted it to.

“Don't stop,” I pleaded.

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