Huffing a breath of exasperation, he pushed his way into the cottage and at the same time pushed past his cowardice. The woman inside was his wife in the sight of God and man. If he wanted to kiss her again, it would be within his rights to do so.
As he closed the door, the blackness of the room enveloped him. Even so, he’d been in Father Fritz’s home enough to have a general idea of where the furniture was located.
He crossed to the table and braced himself while he removed his boots. He unstrapped his weapons belt, then he worked at the laces of his doublet and shed the garment quickly. He started to lift his tunic up, then paused and lowered it. Surely he would do better at holding his urges at bay if he bared himself no further.
What about her? What if Beatrice had put her to bed entirely bare? Just thinking about it conjured images he didn’t need to dwell on. In that case, he’d sleep on top of the covers.
Making his way to the bed, his heart thudded with anticipation, and he had to silently remind himself of his resolve. He would hold her. Maybe kiss her. But that was all.
As he bumped into the wooden bed frame, he heard her shift against the straw-filled mattress.
Had he roused her with his entrance? Or had she been awake, waiting for him?
He lowered himself to the edge.
“I can sleep on the floor if you’d like the bed,” came her whisper.
“No.” He slipped down onto the mattress.
Again, she moved. Was she starting to sit up—or perhaps crawling off?
He reached out to stop her, and his hand grazed her arm. The bare skin of her arm.
His gut clenched. Had this been a mistake?
“I didn’t think we were going to...” Her voice was soft and filled with embarrassment.
“I am not intending to break my promise to you. But since you are bare, you will need to stay covered.”
“I’m wearing a chemise. I asked Beatrice for a nightgown, and this is what she came back with.”
He skimmed his fingers up the rest of her arm and found a thin linen strap upon her shoulder. He traced the strap down to the loose material that covered her bosom.
She’d stilled at his touch, was hardly daring to breathe. Did she like it, or had his forthrightness frightened her?
He returned his hand to her arm, a slightly safer location. But even there, before he could stop himself, he dragged his fingers down the length of her arm, the silky skin too hard to resist.
She sucked in a sharp breath.
At the sound, desire ripped through him. Saint’s blood. This was harder than he’d expected. He pinched his eyes closed, held himself still, and then drew his hand away. “Wrap up in a blanket.” His command came out tersely.
Thankfully, she didn’t question him and began shifting and turning until finally she lay still and silent.
This time when he reached for her, he found the thick wool of a blanket surrounding her, leaving no bare skin and cutting him off from any access to her body. Even though his gut gave a kick of protest, his reasoning told him he would be a happier man in the morn for remaining honorable.
He closed the distance between them, drawing her against his chest and wrapping his arms around her before tucking her head underneath his chin. Her hair was mostly contained within the blanket too, which was just as well. If he began combing his fingers through it, he wasn’t sure where that would lead.
She held herself stiffly, as if still uncertain what to expect from this, their wedding night.
“I do want you,” he whispered, hoping to reassure her. “And I will have you. But not this night.” Not anytime soon. But he wouldn’t tell her of his plans yet. Thus far, she’d proven to bea levelheaded woman. But Jane had always sobbed when he mentioned needing to leave, and the parting had been difficult.
“Have you been with many women?” Sybil’s question wasn’t laced with jealousy, only curiosity.
Even so, it took him by surprise. “Your question is too bold.”
She gave a slight shrug. “You’ve just given me your answer.”
As usual, her sharpness sent a thrill through him. But in the same moment, an intense shaft of jealousy pierced him. “And you? Have you...?” He couldn’t even force himself to say the words.